My husband died of a massive heart attack 9 months ago. I had to move with my two boys ages 10 and 11 400 miles away near my mom. The job market is terrible I am thinking of going back to school while the kids are in school (I have a BS degree in Educ-which got me no where. I have had so many jobs failures and would love to work in a medical office so Im going to school for that. Somedays I feel so bad my kids will never see there dad's face nor hear his voice ever again., Im ready to date and move on-they say you can replace a mate but a child will never replace a parent he has lost.[LIST][/LIST][EMAIL]null[/EMAIL]

Hi cduff,
My name is Dennis. I have a boy Cody, 10, and Kimberly is 17. I am almost 48, wow! Oh, the kids live with me full time. Their mom ran off 2 years ago. My story need not be told right now.
I hope that its not out of line for me to remind you and your boys that God had a reason to take your husband. I can not think of a bigger test for your faith in God.
If I knew you guys were of christian faith, I would say might want to read this http://www.parentsforchrist.com/parents/bible/single.shtml
No matter what, try to read the whole thing. The end has some ideas for the boys.
I pray that it was OK that I wrote you!
My kids and I opened the door for Jesus about a year ago. we are still in awe!!
Like the bird that builds her nest by a great waterfall, we too can find peace without the absence of the storm.
Untill next time,
God bless,
Dennis.

My name is Michele. This is my first post. I'm 46, am single and have a son, Tyler, who is 5. I am currently on disability, have no friends and no relationship with my family. I don't mean to sound so desparate. I'm just incredibly lonely and feel so bad for my son. It's mostly just him and me except when he's in school. I feel bad a lot and have no motivation. I'm hoping to strike up a few friendships here ... maybe I won't feel so worthless. I really hate being a single mother and there are no prospects for a man in my life or father for my son.

What do you guys do with yourselves? And being older, how do you make new friends? All the mothers I meet are in their 30s at the oldest and it's hard to connect.

Thanks for letting me share.

Michele, Welcome to SFV! You've found a Great place to meet new people. People who are here to listen, support, and have fun with! Check out the postings and see what advice may have already been posted.

Do you have any hobbies? Or can you take a class during the day? I know that during school hours our library system has some great book discussions, etc for adults. Also, in the evening and weekends they have activities and books geared toward kids of different ages. This could be a great way for both you and your son to meet new people in your area. We have a non-profit cafe that has everything from open mic night, to a board game night. I'm sure that by checking the news paper or local news websites you could find lots to do. Our local new stations all have a community postings area that lets you know what is going on locally with different groups, etc.

Great to see you! Keep posting, and have fun. :balloon:

Hi, and welcome to you all. There have been quite a few new 40 something parents join up here recently so you are definitely not alone! I am 42 and have a four year old boy.

Michele, I found it strange a first going to things and I was the oldest mother but the younger mothers were often shy about approaching me because I was older than them and found I needed to make the first approach. I also know that regardless of your age we are all in pretty much the same boat trying to raise our children alone and that does not change regardless of your age. I have also moved in to a new area and it is sometimes difficult finding new people but found when I looked that there were also other new people here that also wanted to make new friends. Joining things that you can either do while you child is at school or starting at sort of club with him is a great way of meeting new people. Plus of course there are a lot of people here to provide support!

Cduff, I am so sorry to hear of your loss, it must be so hard for you and your children. Your education plans sound great, we have quite a few parents here studying!

Aroha

Someone say Old *peeks around the corner*. Is it harder once you hit a certain age, I dout it. Its all a part of changing your prospective is all. I for one ain't checking into the rest home after my girls are on their own. I going to take back the life I had before I made my mistake.

cduff I am sorry for your loss.

Michie, you make friends just like you allways did, school events is one way, some people do it through church, you can even make friends through your childrens friends. I have meet a few people that way.

just remember people, don't give up, life is to be lived, not to be struggled through.

quote:

Originally posted by Michie:
My name is Michele. This is my first post. I'm 46, am single and have a son, Tyler, who is 5. I am currently on disability, have no friends and no relationship with my family. I don't mean to sound so desparate. I'm just incredibly lonely and feel so bad for my son. It's mostly just him and me except when he's in school. I feel bad a lot and have no motivation. I'm hoping to strike up a few friendships here ... maybe I won't feel so worthless. I really hate being a single mother and there are no prospects for a man in my life or father for my son.<br /><br />What do you guys do with yourselves? And being older, how do you make new friends? All the mothers I meet are in their 30s at the oldest and it's hard to connect.<br /><br />Thanks for letting me share.

----- I was just scanning the board and ran across this message. Please do not feel alone i too am not in contact with my family they are all passed away or more trouble in my life so i choose to shut the door on that one and fill my life with happy things that i enjoy like going to museums or outdoor concerts activities that my son likes to do. we always seem to have something on the agenda to do. it does get lonley without a guy to share some part of my life with but that is something so far down on my important list like i feel i need a man more for my son than for myself! but anyway im wondering if your situation has improved any. just know that you donot need a man to fill the voids in your life. just list all the things you enjoy like smelling the roses for instance and start checking them off by doing them start with something really small like going to a park with your son and just hang out watch people ect..life is too short, i didnt get this way overnight but being older and knowing myself has made it more accepting to the fact that i should not wait around for a man to knock on the door to make my life complete not to mention im selective and not very trusting of too many. oh well i dont know if your still around, but just know that life is the choices we make so be very careful and choose wisely and definitely do not hate being a single mom this is our time to bond with our kids and ourselves so we will have the mental capacity to let ourselves bond with someone else later on WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT and meant to be. bless you, hang in there it gets bettter.

Hi Michelle, my name is Ellie and I am 48 with three teenagers and a seven year old. It isn't easy but never feel that you are alone.

cduff, I saw this the other day and I thought of you.."ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation" KAHIL GIBRAN...........PEACE BE WITH YOU AND YOURS