I'm a single mom of 2 daughters, 5 and 9. They go every other weekend to their dad's. He lives with his girlfriend and their one year old son.
Anyway, I find that they are not themselves when they come home. It is hard to explain except that it is like they didn't eat, drink or sleep while gone. I know they are fed, etc.....but they are so cranky and miserable. I don't know if it is just the transition? I would like to hear from anyone that has some insite into my problem. Or anyone experiencing the same thing.

My son almost always comes home from time with his mother acting weird. He will come in the door and just stand there doing nothing. He will stare into nothingness, and as soon as his mother leaves, he is fine. He starts playing with toys, and running around being his happy self. Not sure if this is the same type thing or not, but that is the closest I can come to the same thing.

2 homes,2 families, and most of all 2 different sets of rules. It's hard for adults to switch gears like that. It's kinda like driving down the highway at 60mph and being told you have to shift into reverse immediately.

Maybe try to implement a ritual when your children come home will help ease the transitions. Something you don't do any other time than when they come home from the ex's. I took my kids into their rooms when their dad would drop them off and we would say "hello and I missed you" to as many of their stuffed animals they wanted to. They eventually got bored with it and decided their were too big for it but once they got a little bigger they didn't really need it anyway.

My children go through something similar even though they only have supervised visitation with their father for a few hours every other weekend. I have noticed this in my students too-it is hard to help them get back in to the swing of things after a weekend with dad.

I believe it is transition. Most people I know who share custody say that their children act out in some way when they come home. Another thing to look forward too! How do you deal with it? This is new to me.

Hi DustyDaisy - I have been divorced for 7 years and my ex has since remarried and they still act the same way. They are very different with thier Dad and his new wife - they actually confided in me that they don't feel they can be themselves when they are with their Dad - almost like they have to be on thier best behavior all the time. So you can imagine the release when they finally walk in the door after dealing with that all weekend. It's sad but it is what it is. My kids are 13 and 9 and lately they have been chosing to either stay home or stay at friends than to be with their Dad.

Hope that helps..

yes, most likely a transition...sometimes the transition still occurs and he is 13 now..LOL now he just manipulates one side and then the other...that I have to keep an eye on.