I hear you robin2---I am going through the same thing myself with my 13 yo son. Dad was not around very much during the last 7 years because he was going to med school and working in CA (we live in WI). Now dad has a great life, making good money, and has a new wife with 2 babies. So he has been talking to my son about moving him to CA to live there permanently. I am torn---my son and I have had arguments as well. Part of me wants to see my kid go because it has been hard being a single mom (you know). Yet, I am not done being mom! I am leaning towards letting the issue get decided in court, because I don't feel my kid has thought this through completely. Plus, there's less guilt for my son by letting a third party decide.

In the meantime, you have sacrificed so much of yourself being mom, maybe some time for yourself would be good for you. I exercise every other day as an outlet, and it has done wonders with my ability to think more clearly and positively. It's also a great outlet when you're stressed.

If your ex is willing to have more frequent visits instead of full custody, that may be an acceptable compromise. Plus, you want to be wary of why your ex wants custody now--is he making more money and doesn't want to pay the child support? My kid has been talking to his school's psychologist and has found her helpful in terms of venting and having a more objective party who can listen. I hope your son can find a similar person to talk to--sometimes it gets too frustrating talking to mom and dad (that's what my son tells me).

Take time for yourself---that's important too.

I don't think your kid hates you. Since you've always been there for him, I am sure he will always remember what you did for him. More likely, he may be feeling a need at this time in his life to be with his father before he grows up and loses that chance. That's a genuine need, I believe. But I do think you should find out what kind of life your ex would make for your son and if it would be something he'd be happy with and do well.

One day at a time

I would love to make some more email friends too, I feel like BK when he said there was no time. I work 40hours PLUS and my ex cannot be alone with the kids. I have no family in the state I am living in (Ohio) so I really feel kinda alone in the world. When I come home my kids are all waiting for me and need me to do things with them, for them and to listen to them. My "me" time is lying in bed with a book before I fall asleep.

I write to one lady from this site and she is wonderful :-) Anyone else who would like to email my address is" Katmaii1@aol.com (that is a "one", not an "L" at the end, everyone makes that mistake!)

I am almost divorced with a nine year old and know exactly ahow you feel. Your reasons are mine in whjy I joined this site. For a while I had abeen feeling alone, wanted support so I logged onto here. I am happily here for you, Slim