I know this similar topic has been discussed already.

I am single mom of 3, daughters ages 20 and 13, and son 17. I work long 12 hr shifts as a nurse in an ICU. Though I am off 4 days a week, I feel as if every minute a I get to myself I want to grab onto. As the hour gets closer of their coming home from school, I become restless, sad, angry. I feel as if I want no more of responsibilities as a parent. Then, I become resentful for being "trapped."

I know that I am clinically depressed and I do see a therapist. I am reminded to look at my issues from a different perspective, be grateful that my kids are good kids, that I have been financially stable, BLAH BLAH BLAH! I actually resent the suggestion of "take care of yourself because the kids still need you."

Yeh, part of this depression is feeling lonely. Yet, I've never really dated nor have I had any really close female friends.

There are so many things I'd like to do: move back to warm weather in TX , where the cost of living is lower, so that I wouldn't have to work so much or worry about maintenance and repairs to my old 80 yo house in NY. My kids don't want to move back to TX.

My kids are good , respectful, talented, intelligent children. I know that in due time, I will have my freedom, and that while I have less years on earth than my children; that I have to maintain some stability in their developing years so they can become healthy and emotionally stable independent adults. I used to pray and believe that good things come to those who wait. It's just becoming more and more difficult these days.

I guess I'm a bit late to welcome you..but I'll do it anyways:

hi, you've come to the right place! here you can vent and people will understand because we have all been there (or are there).

What is stopping you from following your dream and moving back to texas?
You say your kids don't want to move there. So, fine! That's their choice. They are coming to a stage where they will start to live their own life. Learn to let them go.
your kids are older now and almost adult, I would say only the 13 year old still needs full time care. And if she doesn't want to move to Texas with you, tough! Life is not about giving in to her every whim. (that'll turn her into a selfcentred b*****).

I moved around all my life, starting at 2 years old and feel I have benefited from it. It has made me open to new experiences, versatile and able to create situations that make me feel at home quickly. It's also made me have to step out of my shyness box and approach people....

It sounds like you have done a great job in raising 3 well adjusted healthy happy kids.
Give yourself a pat on the back!!

I can really relate to your feelings of feeling trapped. I've been there. Luckily now my son is 16 and very independant, so the pressure is a little off in that respect and I have more me time.............

I also neglected my social life for years and had to make an effort to reconnect with old friends (and meet new ones) and make appointments to meet up, even if only for coffee. (no, not in " " - sorry, sfv joke...........you'll find out........)

Keep posting, and reading the other threads. So many things to relate to on this board.

Hi,
I am new to this site. I think I have a lot in common with how you are feeling. I really love being a Mom and actually it made me feel good to know that I was "sacrificing"" for my children for I should be. But lately, I feel like I am not doing anything right. I work, I take the children to their activities, spend time with them, but then I feel so depressed when I can't keep up with everything. Like right now it is the weekend and I have this house to clean and laundry to do. Nothing is ever done...I just have to keep doing it over and over and not feel satisfied. I just feel like what I do isn't good enough. Even though I am in my 40's, I still feel like my parents are critical of me and I see my sister who has a great life situation and I feel sorry for myself. This isn't the life I had planned. It is definitely the children I had planned but I never wanted a broken family...I feel like a failure.

Hello roselady,

Hopefully you'll take some advice from me, seeing as how I'm a 32yo single father of a 13yo boy. Believe me that I know what you're going through, however. The frustration doing the day-to-day stuff, knowing it'll just need to be done again later. The criticism from your parents even though you're doing your best, with no recognition for how much more effort it takes for you to get through your day compared to sisters with "great" life situations. I was the first teen parent in my family, the first divorced parent in my family, and even though I have some impressive stats in other areas I'm still spoken of as the embarrassment in my family. I don't dare show up at their gatherings alone, for the holidays that my son spends with his mother...

In a lot of ways, however, being a single parent has helped me grow so much stronger than my sisters have with their perfect lives. It *is* a hard life, and not everyone is capable of it making it through the day-to-day stuff, just doing what they have to do. People with perfect lives learn to take them for granted, and how many of them can have the confidence that they'd be capable of handling a difficult life if they've never done it themselves?

And at the end of it all? You're going to have 3 grown kids that will look back and be amazed at the mother they had that was able to do it all. ****...songs have been written about women doing what you're doing. It's tough now, but keep it up and the ending should be a happy one...lol...and you know? You may miss it all when your kids are grown...

Welcome to the site.

Later,
Bobby