Today I feel so depressed. I'm just so tired of working two jobs, 70 hours a week. Lifes not fair. I want more from life than just working,sleeping and cleaning. I'm so lonely. I've got no one to talk to. No one to hug me and say its going to be OK. I'ts been more then 13 years since my seperation and divorce.I hate being a single parent. I hate my life the way it is today. I want so much more. Ther must be something more, something better.

quote:

Originally posted by busytire01:
I hate being a single parent.

Uggh...I hear what you're saying and I completely agree with *that* statement. Your kids are 16 and 20, however? Your single parent days seem like they're almost over! What do you want to do next?

I too feel that same way often- my child is 5 so I have lots of parenting left. It is emotionally hard on you to work full time, raise a child. Luckily I have a great babysitter for her that helps- but there has to be more to life than work, and parenting but so little time. I will be here to listen when you have your bad days- someitmes jsut talking helps.

I know how you feel. there are days that I feel the same way. I guess I can't give advice, but can let you know that thier are others that feel as you do and it is normal. there is nothing wrong with you to feel that way. I think that we have to spend so much doing what is required that we lose ourselves. Then when we have a moment of down time all we find is that we are alone. I'm trying to learn how to love me. It's really hard, but when I am alone, there is always me.

My son is 10yrs old, almost 11 and I have so much respect for those with more than 1 to raise....and teenage yrs! I'm waiting my turn. I also know what it's like at 4am I hope your 11am is getting better. Sometimes I feel "checked out" like I've been with my son for hours and not really seen him. Too busy trying to take care of house & home & keeping sanity. Some days I force myself to just look at him and really see him, laugh with him. That was the hardest when he looked at me one day and said "mom you never laugh".

Well yeah, raising kids can certainly screw up your sense of humor, specially by ones self. Hang in there girl it gets better, or so I tell myself. oh, welcome to the forum.

Ya, sense of humor, what's that? Funny thing is my son is hillarious - I think he's making up for both of us! Thanks for the welcome

Being the custodial parent-as the attorney general calls it...has its ups and downs. I am working 2 jobs too, but only 50 hours usually. I keep thinking that there has to be a better way. My 21 year old daughter still lives at home, so she pays 1/4 of the family expenses. I receive no child support. Currently, I have a $300. light bill due with no money in the bank. My mom mailed me a check for 100.00 - to help out. If I get behind this month, then it is worse for next month. You know how it goes.
My boss spends more money on his "toys" (jeep, 4-wheeler, boat, etc.)than I do on necessities. There has to be a way that we can make it-and still enjoy life. I am a hard worker and sure that you are too. Maybe someone will recognize that sometime soon & offer us a great job with enough pay to support our family on one salary. Keep your head held high and your eyes open!

odd, i came down with that same type of depression today too. i am going to be 40 soon (really soon). today was a rough day at work. i went to the grocery store and saw the couples doing their grocery shopping, always puts me in a fowl mood. i came home to find out that my son 'made up' with his mother. she apologized for a lifetime of being a jerk, so it looks like he is going out there for spring break. i really should be happy for him, but just can't get past it just yet. she does nothing for him but neglect and confuse, then smiles in his direction and he beams. i bust my hump saving for his college and doing everything i can for him and she seems to get forgiveness and gratitude handed to her in a bowl. i need to shake myself out of that attitude, just hard.

all i could think about today was, how nice it would be to just come home to a wife who would 'get it' and snap me out of 'it'

we can say a lot of things to support one another, but sometimes i think its just enough to say - "i know what you are going through, it sucks... hang in there" -

you have made it this far, you rock.. every single day, you do what you need to do and you don't get much credit for it

but everyone on this board knows who you are because we have been there =)

i have to think there is a special room in heaven for us, with an open bar ....

Wow,
I doubt there is a person here that is not touched by this post ...started by this person...not so long ago. I believe that this post is one that would be responded to immensly, if not for the fact that it strikes a chord with ALL of us.

Busy...you have not come back to let us know that our posts have reached you...but ironically your post has reached us. I pray you are better, stronger and most of all happier.

I feel I am lucky. I have only 2 years under my belt as a single parent. I am by no means a "perfect parent" but with my kids being older and having had the luxury of an incredible partner helping me, and dare I say "spearheading" the upbringing of my children, I would not be in the position I am today of having such amazing kids. This makes it much easier...though, not to be confused with EASY.

Being single? I hate it..although I am seeing someone regularly now...the dating process has thoroughly scarred me...and I will NEVER again be the same...so I am emotionally still "Alone".

We all have walls to different extents that must be overcome, knocked down or scaled before we are in that "relationship" mode again....these walls are there for a reason...mostly to protect us. And they do their job well, learn to appreciate them, you will know when to let them down.

You all who have posted before me...remember these few things:

Our kids?...no matter the situation, God has put them there as an example of his unconditional love...and despite the way they may treat us sometimes... the always wil love us. No one gets out of this life hating their parents. Oh, they may hate things they've done, but not that parent themselves. That's what makes such situations so horrible to deal with sometimes.

Our homes? I've been dirt poor, nearly homeless, living with people, living with parents, and much better off, then back down again. It's hard to be happy where you are, sometimes...but you can be, it just takes work. ( Yes, I'm a hypocrite about this lots of times, too.)

Our Families? Blood is NOT thicker than water, sometimes the stranger down the street is better to you than your family. Be good to your self, and make sure you remove yourself from the situations that are hurtful to you, family or not. It can be done, I know this.

Our feelings? This is tough, we know what we want vs. what we have...sometimes you find what your looking for...sometimes you dont, sometimes you think you did. Dont' settle; wait for the right thing, you have time and in the meantime, you're just fine...just like you have been. Be careful what you ask for,...you just might get it...then what?

Our bodies? Take care of yourself, your mind, you're psyche, your health and fitness. Get plenty of rest. Seek counseling if you think you need it. Most of the people here regularly see a counselor. If you knew all the answers already you wouldnt be posting here. Get plenty of rest, you do no one any good if you cannot physically handle the day to day events; if not for yourself, then do these things for your children UNTIL you CAN do them for yourself.

Your OLDER children? I am the father of a 19, 17, and 12 year old. You NEVER stop being a parent....you just slowly let your children parent themselves little by little.

I dont have the answers.
I have ups and downs just like everyone here.
I financially pretty "OK" but, I have almost NO TIME since I have to be availabe nearly 24 hours a day for my company. I take "hours" off, instead of days.

All of us have "gives and takes" in our lives...not one of us is immune.

At the end of each day.... you finish the day, you ran the race, finishing last or first; you finished.
One more day down, another day starts tomorrow. It will probably be better, if not, the next day will probably be better.

If you live for tomorrow, what are you going to do today?

Goodnight, God Bless, God Speed the days that lead to healing.

Very touching reply, PaulJ!

Hugs to everyone!

Wonder if this sudden hit of "this sucks" has to do with the fact that we just passed "blue monday," the supposed most depressing day of the year?

I often go through phases of feeling completely down and out. Days that single parenting = not enough time to do everything, not enough time to enjoy our kids, unable to give them what they deserve (time and financially,) and ultimately that I suck.

I had a friend that emailed me just that yesterday. She said "I'm having such a hard time with being a good parent; I suck!"

The truth is that it's normal to feel that way sometimes. It's just a matter of continuing your strength, keep climbing that mountain.

You see, we've been given one of the best positions in life. Our childrens personality and future depends on us. That's alot of weight on one hand but isn't it the most rewarding position ever?

The lessons we learn and the joys of our children are all blessings. (I know the feeling of "I've had enough lessons!")

I know we all have to work hard and many hours. I know we need our days to be 30 hours instead of 24 to fit everything in.

But please - - Each day take the time to look at your children, smile, tell yourself you're doing a darn good job and your children will benefit from your lessons and what you offer. Take time to take in the essense of having children that you can care for and that love you and are certainly little angels. I definitely believe there are angels among us. My children and yours.

Dear friends,
I am not a single parent, but an only child of a single parent, my mom. Let me tell you all something: you are amazing and I truly admire you.
My mother raised me almost by herself, b/c my father lives in another country, very far away and had no money to help us out. Lame excuse from him, I know, but some people are just not good parents.
But what I can tell you for sure is that my mother -a single parent- has been the most important person in my life. She has single handedly made me who I am. Yes, she worked crazy hours and often, specially during my teen years, I hated her for that. But she put food on the table, she helped me to go to school and she always, always had my best interest in mind. That, my friends, is priceless. I love her more than anything in this world. And she says that I will only understand her love for me when I have my own children.
On my part, I know I have judged my mother often and many times blamed her for not spending enough time with me, for always working, for not having time to cook, for not having enough money to pay for any hobbies or material goods.... and I was wrong to be angry b/c she is only human.
Now, as I am an adult, successful and happily married to a wondful man who loves me and with whom I am going to build a beautiful family, I know I can do this only because my mother was so great to me. Please know that all that you are doing now for your children will be worth it. Your children will be forever greatful to you, they will learn for your errors and built a fabulous life because you are and have always been there for them.
I truly believe that you are the everyday heroes that are not recognized by society. Please look at yourselves and look at all that you have achieved...and when you feel depressed, lonely, and tired know that you are amazing. Remember that you are doing the work of two, but single handedly...and that your children are an extention of you...we love you and in our hearts you are our heroes...you are the one person who has never failed us and who always, always puts us first.
If you have any questions about the feelings of your children, please do not hesitate to write. Is the least that I can do for a generation of heroes...

Thank you. Deep down we know that, but it's still nice to hear it.

Oh, and Welcome to the "nuthouse".

Wow!! Your posts were all very intersting and enlightening to hear. I'm glad I am not the only one in the same position and struggling sometimes. I hate telling my son that we cannot do something because we just do not have the money. However, there are good days. I have gotten tired of focusing on the bad days. I am tired of the bad and it seems like I look forward to the good times now which makes things happier and I am not such a crab. I like to laugh. Just remember that the bad times come and go and we only have so much time to teach our children about life and how we respond to it. I use opportunities to teach my son about how life will suck sometimes, but the good times make it worthwhile. We laugh at quite a bit now. I also use my past life experiences and what we have gone through to teach him what NOT to do and how to make his life better. I do not have much longer and my son will be grown up and on his own. I get scared thinking about what I am going to do when he is gone, but such is life. I know I can make it and will be on a new journey of my life and I just hope that I have used my time wisely with my son to make him a great human being. Hey, I have found some extra money to be made on Ebay by selling stuff around my house that I do not use anymore. Believe me, this has saved me quite a few times. God bless.