Most guys I'm finding in this age bracket has children who are in their early teens, have careers somewhat established, and maybe going through the 40's crisis....

What do you guys want in a relationship at 40+?

What a loaded question: Are you nuts? Well, if you're asking the guys here you might get some civil answers...but in general...Yikes!

But gimme a minute to word this correctly, k?

quote:

Originally posted by paulj_in_phx:
What a loaded question: Are you nuts? Well, if you're asking the guys here you might get some civil answers...but in general...Yikes!

But gimme a minute to word this correctly, k?

oooops? LOL.... I'm under the influence of a margarita (strawberry) to be exact.


OMGosh..... this goes along with Sarah's 15 questions post .. LOL..

This is very strange all of sudden, I havent seriousl thought about this since my break with Shannon.

And now as I sit writing out these things I want...I find that I'm writing out the things I want in a "wife".......but what you were probably asking for....was what we want in a date.

This is strange, because I gave up thinking that I'd ever consider marriage again....and now, this is all I'm listing. No wonder I cant find a date....I'm still looking for wife.

KRAP!!! Gotta straighten that out!

What does a 40+ man want?
Well, this August I will be 41, so maybe I still qualify.
First, I'm a man that always forgets he 40. I always have to stay physically active in my type of career, so I never "feel" 40+.

When I was married I LOVED being married, and although I am very doubtful that I will ever find that again, I wouldnt be opposed to it...so with that in mind..........This is gonna be really sporadic....and probably a little mushy.
So I'll have to write what I want in a long term relationship...until I decided whether I ever want to be married again.

I want a woman, that understands I'm a man, not a the oppositely-sexed version of "her".

I want a woman takes care of herself,
that is "proud" to be a woman,
that doesnt see it as a weakness, but know how important a woman is to a man.

I want a woman that likes to be pretty,
that is pretty, and try to keep herself that way
no matter her age.

I want a woman that understands I dont have many best friends and I neve have,
that if she wants to be in that role, it will take a little time until I let her in that place.
More that that, she needs to understand that I "do" want her in that role.

I want a woman who, even if she is taller than myself, understands that to me she will always be "the" most precious "little" wonderful person in my life. And yet when I unintentionally hurt her, her stature is so great I can hardly face myself.

I want a woman who understand that I "will" put her on a pedestal...that's how I'm made, and I want to take care of her. I want a woman that doesnt need me to take care of her, but wants me to.

I want a woman who loves to shop (not obsessively..LOL) loves make little nosies when see cute things, cries when the little crippled kid in the movie gets up and walks and sheds a tear when she breaks a nail.

I want a woman that understands that I WILL laugh when she does all of those things, not cause I'm making fun of her, but because I think she's amazing.

I want a woman understands when I say she's too pretty for me....but wants me anyway.

I want a woman who will call me onto the carpet when she realizes I've been bullshitting her, and lets me laugh about it anyway.

I want a woman who understands my love for life, and how I want to share that with her. How much I love to laugh, and want to share that with her. Who understands that the jokes during the bad times are my way of keeping from crying because I have feelings too.

I want a woman who will put some gloves on her pretty hands and will do her best ( probably better) to help me when I'm working around the home, but even more understands when I say, " I can do it myself".

I want a woman that understands that until my children are grown, I can't completely commit to her cause they are my first priority.

I want a woman that understands that I dont have a lot of time, but the time I do give to her is absolutely dedicated as much as possible to her.

I want a woman that lets me, be me and doesnt want to try to change me. If I haven changed by now, I probably never will.

I want a woman that understands that for the right woman, I will change anything I have to, but believe that I shouldnt have to.

I want a woman that lets me be affectionate, hold her waist from behind, kiss her neck gently, inhale her intoxicating scent....even after she's been working all day.

I want a woman that will let me cook for her...and understands when I won't.

I want a woman that wont try to redecorate my home, but will give me her opinion when I ask for it.

I want a woman that lets me caress her body, run my fingers through her hair, and give her a foot massage while we're watching a movie.

I want a woman that likes action flicks, kung fu movies, sci-fi and foreigh films.

I want a woman that understands that I like football...and that I cant pay attention to Her and a game at the same time...It's not Hu-MAN-ly possible!

I want a woman that understand that I'd love to go camping, saling, learn to ski, go antiquing, take trips and the like...but right now, I'm still building a business. So I settle for wine tasting, training my puppies, watching a movie here and there, working out and raising my children.

I want a woman that understand that I think she's just as sexy in a pony tail and jeans, as she is in that "little black dress" ....or naked for that matter.

I want a woman that wont think it's strange that I watch her sleep early in the morning hours, and listen to her sounds, even if she snores.

I want a woman that understands that I think hips are Sexy...and the size of her boobs dont matter as I long as I get them.

I want a woman that understands that sometimes I just want to "talk to her" over some wine and simple "necking".

I want a woman that understands that when I look in her eyes....I'm just marveling...and it never gets old.

I want a woman that understands that I have to Burn things on a metal grate sometimes! and if she's asks nicely I'll let her do that too! But I'll have to coach her.

I want a woman that understands when I say a woman is beautiful...it's just that....me saying a woman is beautiful...nothing more.

I want a woman with beautiful hands...woman hands...not man hands...and yet she cant tell me what I think, only I can do that. Same goes for the feet.

Ok...I think I should stop now...

You asked.

I liked most of what PaulJ wrote but I'm 54 and have given up for the foreseeable future, as I can't see anybody else my age wanting small kids, full time, or even part time.

quote:

I want a woman that likes action flicks, kung fu movies, sci-fi and foreigh films.

I can deal with everything on the list except for this....I would laugh through all of these films and talk the whole time..."what'd he say, what'd he do?, where'd he go...

But WOW Paul...that was amazing!
Steph

Paul...I think they should clone you! If more men thought/felt like that there would be a lot more happy campers out there!

Dale - don't give up hope....I'm 37 and I did that for the last 7 years...it just makes you tired, bitter and boring...not to mention how much you miss out on. I admit I haven't thrown myself completely into the dating pool but I've found other ways to be more sociable and interact with people of all ages. (ie, sports programs w/ the kids, going to festivals, etc.) A wise co-worker told me that "if you don't get out and do anything, you'll never meet anyone." It was a very simple statement that on its own doesn't mean much but when you integrate into your life and actually act on it, the results are tremendous! I haven't found "mr. right", but I have found a lot of interesting and nice people who have friends...It's almost like networking for a job...but a whole lot more fun!

Good luck to you everyone and with a little patience and ambition I believe that everyone can have what they want.

Caitlin

quote:

Originally posted by paulj_in_phx:

Ok...I think I should stop now...

Yeah, you're getting overheated.

Paul... that is quite a list and a lot of well thought out qualities you're looking for.

I haven't started my list yet (for a man that is) I know when I do.... I'll be closer to finding the man I want.


Dale---- don't give up My friend's brother... who was in his late late 40s got married and has enjoyed--what he says--the love of a lifetime. He was widowed young and dated for 15 years before they found each other. there are women out there who adore children.


binarian -- you didn't post your list. OOOPs wait a minute, you're immune since you already have someone

quote:

Originally posted by binarian:

quote:

Originally posted by paulj_in_phx:

Ok...I think I should stop now...

Yeah, you're getting overheated.

LOL..you dont know how right you were...my AC wasnt working very well last night...LOL

quote:

Originally posted by itcomesback2u:
....I can deal with everything on the list except for this....I would laugh through all of these films and talk the whole time..."what'd he say, what'd he do?, where'd he go...

But WOW Paul...that was amazing!
Steph

LOL..my sister does that!! I think it's hilarious!! We invite her over to watch movies just for that VERY reason!! LOL

quote:

Originally posted by paulj_in_phx:

quote:

Originally posted by binarian:

quote:

Originally posted by paulj_in_phx:

Ok...I think I should stop now...

Yeah, you're getting overheated.

LOL..you dont know how right you were...my AC wasnt working very well last night...LOL

Yeah, but it's a DRY heat

Paul, what is your number, honey? (JK)
Wow....your list...very detailed...I hope you find that special someone. I know you will.
Your ex's name is, Shannon....my name, too....what a coincidence.
I should make me a list, too...of what I want in a man....in about 5 years (not ready for one now)

quote:

Originally posted by zionscry:
Paul, what is your number, honey? (JK)
Wow....your list...very detailed...I hope you find that special someone. I know you will.
Your ex's name is, Shannon....my name, too....what a coincidence.

LOL...I know your were kidding ..but I'm still very "afraid" of women named Shannon.

And Binarian, "Dry Heat" still cooks the chicken...LOL