join the club........that's why I just said forget it.

The only great ladies I've met are on forums like this....and well, I'm not about to get tangled up with a lady at a place where I pour myself out on a regular basis.

And No, I dont know any good guys in VA. Actually know hardly any ..anywhere...sorry.

Apparently guys like me and other on this forum are pretty much freaks of nature, anymore. .

quote:

Originally posted by Dawn Butterfly:
......the bad boy had a drinking problem, tried drugs and was promiscious, but he was the one who was faithful to me and was willing to change for the better. My second relationship was with a "good boy" who was a pastor's kid and had a decent job in ministry, but he cheated on me with his former girlfriend and even hacked a credit card to buy himself a motorbike to take her around town. My present relationship is also what others may label as a "good boy" since he's successful in his career and loving towards his parents and siblings, but man, this guy is the one who got me pregnant but is not sharing in his responsibilities to his child.

so what's good and bad here?

Dawn...sounds like they're all scumbags...to me....sorry.

Women send double messages ... just had this conversation with a friend.

When you're on a date, I look at a guy scouringly and wait for the opportunity to say
"you just want in my panties."

then when he is a gentleman, I'm thinking

"you don't want in my panties? Are you gay?"

So, what ever happened to romancing?

quote:

Originally posted by paulj_in_phx:
Dawn...sounds like they're all scumbags...to me....sorry.

ROFL... that made me laugh hard!

That's the word! Let's just change the "goodboy" - "badboy" labelling thing to "scumbags" and 'non-scumbags"

Tessmit....LOL....I just would have respond...uhm...yeah...but not yet...I'd like to Eat dinner first....Geez!

and Dawn, yeah...us men are pretty much all scumbags. That's the way of it.

Paul, not all women are bad.....I swear to you. I was loyal, devoted, fun,...nurturing to both him and our children and he still messed up. You just need a woman with some spunk! The next man I meet is going to be finger printed, investigated, and take a lie detector test before we even date.(jk) but I think more are going to run away before the second date. The one that hangs in there is the one for me.

quote:

The only great ladies I've met are on forums like this....and well, I'm not about to get tangled up with a lady at a place where I pour myself out on a regular basis.

Maybe they are great on the forum because you do poor your heart out on a regular basis LOL

quote:

Originally posted by Singleparentcoach:

quote:

The only great ladies I've met are on forums like this....and well, I'm not about to get tangled up with a lady at a place where I pour myself out on a regular basis.

Maybe they are great on the forum because you do poor your heart out on a regular basis LOL

HA!! you do that with someone you're dating...and she'll high tail for higher ground!! Just ask Tessmitt.

Paul, you passed the panty question. That was really clever.

I always say, put the truth on the table, then lets deal with it.

I'm turned off when the guys lie about it and make up BS.

I'm even quicker after a pitcher of margaritas...which is what I'm headed for RIGHT NOW!! LOL

quote:

HA!! you do that with someone you're dating...and she'll high tail for higher ground!! Just ask Tessmitt.

Life doesnt get easier, you get tougher.

Well, I disagree...if you can't poor your heart out to the one your with, then she is not worth it I don't think and vice versa.

John, again, hope you don't mind me replying about your post, being that I am a woman.
I agree that we are totally different species, and I also understand about your feelings of fear or apprehension(for lack of a better term) of being emotionally attached again. For me it has been almost a year, not near as long as you...but I have pretty much vowed that I am finished with the whole relationship thing. I do not want to get hurt again and even if I ever find a compatible man, I would probably turn him down at this point....because I'm just not ready. BECAUSE I don't want to hurt US-not JUST because of my feelings-his, too. Ya know? I would probably end up hurting him (unintentionally)if I tried to begin a relationship at this point in my life and I do not want to do that. There are things in me I need to fix first.....by the way....where do they make tape strong enough to mend a broken heart? I mean, a really broken heart?
I think you have alot of good tips from others who have replied.....take it one day at a time.
Begin with yourself and overcome any obstacles you have with you and then perhaps you will be released to move forward....
That's what I'm doing in me right now.
I hope only the best for you!

Thank you Zion. I haven't been on board for a few days. This topic really took on a life of its own!

I also wanted to thank the ladies who put the good boy bad boy thing so succinctly. It probably does come down to exciting and confidence. I am neither, thus I'm not attractive to women.

Giving up on the relationships thing is very freeing. I no longer care because my aim is not to be anything more then a friend. I've met a couple women over the past couple weeks and all I will be with them is a friend.

Friends are more important anyhow. They don't hurt you (usually), much less likely to reject or dump you, you don't have to worry about impressing them or buying them stuff.

Okay, here's something that I said a few weeks ago and everyone found it somewhat amusing (at my expense)....

I have been without my husband or a date for almost 2 years now and I am getting a little frustrated about being alone...this guy I met kindof blew me off even though all I wanted was a friend....so I said...Eric, don't you have any friends that can go to -----(local amusement) park with me? I don't need them to talk to me, don't need to hold my hand, just smile when I talk, laugh at all of my corny jokes, no strings attached...I just want someone to ride the blessed rides with me!

Isn't this what most of us on here really want? I mean this jokingly, of course, but wouldn't it be great if we had the option of finding that? No one would have to worry about their looks, their laugh, their weight, etc.

I loved being married and everything that went with it, but if I had the chance to do it over again, I think I would be a little meaner, colder, and more cautious...

This is probably off of the subject, but it was a thought for the day.

quote:

Originally posted by bikejon:
Friends are more important anyhow. They don't hurt you (usually), much less likely to reject or dump you, you don't have to worry about impressing them or buying them stuff.

Friendships are the way to go! When I was younger, I even told myself that I would like to marry my bestfriend, and that my ideal relationship would start out as friendship. Unfortunately, my bestfriend is a girl. LOL...

anyway, i find it fairly easy to develop good friendships with men, but I find it hard to develop VERY CLOSE friendships with men, so I really can't have a male bestfriend. Romance easily comes into the picture -- either one of you, if not both, develops feelings for the other. And when it doesnt work out, the friendship is compromised, and some guys wouldnt take that risk because they think so much is at stake if they try to date their female friends.

Oh well... there goes my idea of an ideal relationship...

John, I was wondering if you were OK.....good to know you are. ( I am referring to the fact that you were not on the Board/Forum for a few days.)
As I have stated before, Friends is good....and I have to agree with you when you stated that they usually do not hurt you. You can "bare all" to a friend and they usually do not judge you, but may advise you. And the friendship usually is there even after you make a mistake.
I have messed up so much in my life, but one thing I try NOT to do is become bitter about any of my past mistakes or failures...I am friends with my ex's. I mean, I am friendly toward them...it's not like we go hang out or anything, but I think you know what I mean. I have children with them, so I keep an open minded type repor with them. We can even have deep talks at times, but they know I am NOT interested in anything more and I think they understand that.
I have been separated for 10 months from my current spouse (we don't have kids together) and I just filed for the divorce this week.....like I said....I have made alot of mistakes. I have actually been married 3 times. I have children with my first 2 husbands. The last husband and I do not share children, but he had a hard time raising someone else's teenage kids....understandably. I think also, he was a bit on the mentally unstable side-won't go there right now.....I guess with this confession, I have now opened a doorway for all sorts of judgemental thoughts from the forum....but I have been through so much, I don't really care what anyone may think. I try to go above the shallow minded type thinking myself, personally. We have all made mistakes and we all fall. I am not the judge of mankind...Thank God!
I apologize for the rambling....went off on a "rabbit chase". Sometimes you just need another friend or adult to talk to who UNDERSTANDS and has walked in the SAME shoes....or down the SAME path....ya know?
Fear of rejection.......something we live with daily. In our jobs/careers, in our own families, within our community, in our churches, with a spouse possibly, and even in friendships.
John, just live each day as it is a special gift and keep your eyes set on the path before you. Focus on your daughter, who needs you and focus on your own needs. There IS a freedom in friendships....and one day....who knows????
Blessings,
Shannon