http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/ Your First Stop in our Single, Step and blended Parent community and please keep us updated, we love to hear when single parent change to blended and step parents. en Fri, 10 Sep 2010 14:51:36 GMT vBulletin 60 http://singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/ http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17193&goto=newpost Thu, 09 Sep 2010 15:25:40 GMT A number of years ago I had gone back to school to get my BA degree. I had a classmate (who wound up being just a phenominal friend and fabulous... A number of years ago I had gone back to school to get my BA degree. I had a classmate (who wound up being just a phenominal friend and fabulous person) who told me about this website. I checked it out briefly, but since I was going to school for Psychology with a focus on counseling, I really didn't need this network, did I? (Dumb me!) At the time my marriage was limping along pretty badly, but I figured "everything will be better once I finish school and we're making better $." Of course, not even that helped. You simply can't breathe life back into a dead thing.

Long story short, ex finally split last October. Happens. As I understand it, from his perspective I hit 40 and had grown to old, fat, b**chy and boring. Plus, I discovered that infidelity was still going on and gave him an ultimatum that he really didn't like. So in the end, I got traded in for a couple 20's (well, more than 2 it turns out.) There's a lot more to the story but it would read like a cheesy, pooly written Lifetime or Hallmark Made-for-TV script. So for now, I'll save you all the gagging and "OMG's"!

Also the fact of the matter is, I am a person with a fairly impressive collection of personal faults: I have a big ego where my intelligence, abilities and creativity is concerned, I am aware of the fact that I am not exactly (how to put this?...) "In a good space right now", and I'm having a lot of trouble just reconciling all my failures and stupid mistakes I've made over the years with my own reflection in that mirror. Where I'm going is; I'm not quite ready to put my saga out there for comment or critique. Am still to fragile for that.

What I can tell you is the cliff notes: Have 2 kids who have been with me since ex split. Our divorce trial date is October 11. Ex has a very good lawyer. I do not. (I'm doing this pro-se because all the free and low-cost legal resources in my area are booked solid.) I am currently unemployed and having a very hard time making ends meet. (No, I am not getting foodstamps or public assistance. I'm that person who belongs on the OTHER end of that desk, and we're going to get by even if I have to sell everything I own between now and that court date. Ex has done a great job of making my life a living hell, but I WILL NOT let him, or the kids, or the judge, see me break.) All the other details I'm guessing are somewhere on the bio I filled out when I signed up here.

So why did I join? I came to the realization that if I were my own client, I'd have me put under supervision. (I am, or rather *was* a youth/young adult counselor by trade. I resigned from my most recent position because I became aware that I could no longer perform the duties and work required of my job for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. My personal and family life is in complete chaos.) Right now, I need to figure out how to get my kids and I through the divorce and drama, without taking too much long term damage. However, if I don't get out of my own head, I'm going to continue cannibalizing myself like Ouroboros (the snake in Greek mythology that is eating it’s own tail.)

In a nutshell, the situation is this: Einstein defined insanity as “doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” I, most definitely, am not behaving, reacting or thinking like a “sane” person where my ex is concerned. And, I’m facing the biggest gamble of my life with the fate of my kids being determined by the court (and going up against a judge that has a reputation for being very “pro-dad”.) Suffice to say, the ex has house odds and I’m betting my last dollar in a game I really don’t know all the rules to.

I’m angry and frustrated, but more importantly, I’m really scared I’m going to screw this up. The worst part is, if I do, the kids will be paying the price for it. ]]> Introductions and Updates Glasslass http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17193 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17180&goto=newpost Wed, 08 Sep 2010 02:46:13 GMT I figured it was time for an update and some input. How is everyone?! Life has been hectic here but when isn't it for a single parent?

It has been 7 months since the SD ;) has spoken to or visited the children. He missed the end of school, the twins' 10th birthday, and the beginning of school. Sadly, the twins didn't seem to notice much. At least they didn't say anything to me or anyone that was with us during their birthday and our vacation. We have the odd comment about "dad" here and there. However, they are still not frequent.

He is about 17k behind in child support now. Haven't received anything since $87 on May 1! I don't know where he is but I think he moved back to North Carolina where his parents, one brother and one sister (& their families) are living. I had Child Support Enforcement try his parents' address to see if they could verify that he could at least receive mail there. CSE requires a verifiable address in order to proceed with contempt of court review. I haven't heard from him since May 2 for any reason. I don't even know if the number I have for him (Florida cell phone #) is even valid any longer. (Anyone want to try it for me? :rolleyes: :tongue1: )

I sold the truck to CarMax. I took a big hit and sold it for about half what was owed. However, it was time to get rid of it. It was a constant reminder for the kids. They thanked me for selling it!

My mom moved down from NJ. She is selling her retirement condo -- well at least it is on the market! When it sells we will add another bedroom and bath on to my house. That will be nice when it happens!

I'm doing ok. Not looking to date or anything like that although sometimes it would be nice to have someone around that I could go out with or talk to. I'm so not rushing it!

Sorry for my long absences... ]]> Introductions and Updates PixiesX3 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17180 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17129&goto=newpost Thu, 02 Sep 2010 23:32:37 GMT HI! My name is Jessi and I'm a single mom with 3 amazing kids. There are my life. We are currently homeless, staying with family, till we can find an apartment that will allow our 2 small dogs since I don't have the heart to make my kids give them up. They've been through too much already and I'm trying to make them as happy as possible.
I'm just looking for other single parents to talk to. It's such a difficult thing and support makes it easier. ]]> Introductions and Updates sweetiekayk http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17129 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17102&goto=newpost Mon, 30 Aug 2010 05:31:13 GMT Hey all Stephanie from Delaware hope everyone is doing well. I am doing fine. I have a three year old daughter named Kylie. She is the light of my... Hey all Stephanie from Delaware hope everyone is doing well. I am doing fine. I have a three year old daughter named Kylie. She is the light of my life. I work in crisis care right now at a local hospital. My daughter' sfather is not in her life right now. I just took my LPN boards and am trying to find a job right now. Just trying to find my way in life. Looking forward to meeting some great people on here. ]]> Introductions and Updates tradinglives http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17102 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17062&goto=newpost Wed, 25 Aug 2010 05:49:06 GMT Well I have already posted a massive message on the 20 something single moms board but I figured I would post on here as well. I am a single mom... Well I have already posted a massive message on the 20 something single moms board but I figured I would post on here as well.

I am a single mom of an almost two year old little girl. I jut completed my associates degree in Accounting in July. I am planning on going back for my Bachelors in January.

My daughter is amazingly well behaved (so far) and is learning new things everyday! However, with being a young single mom there are times when I wish that I could just go out and hang out with the girls but living so far from all my close friends that is hard even without adding in the fact that I also must find someone up there to watch my daughter for the night. Luckily my best friend's younger sister who is 16 doesn't mind because its a once in a blue moon kind of thing and she says and I quote "your daughter is an angel compared to Emy!" (my best friend's almost 3 year old). But recently there has been a new thought added to the rest that comes every once in a while like when I am on my way home from class and I am in the car all alone or when I take the rare chance of leaving my daughter with my mother while I run to the store.. I just start to think what if I just kept driving?! And don't get me wrong I love my daughter more than anything and I would do anything for her and I can't help that I have these thoughts every once in a while but as soon as I have them I feel horrible that I even thought such a thing!

Well I hope that with time here I can begin to not only understand myself more but I can also be a support and a support for others. Thanks for listening and all comments and advice is welcomed no matter how blunt. Because sometimes that's just what you need to hear. ]]> Introductions and Updates Just Me and Kylee http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17062 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17042&goto=newpost Mon, 23 Aug 2010 14:03:54 GMT Hi everyone I was able to get my screen name change. I was carterdm0604 now I am AarmyluvroN. so if you see comments or messages coming from this... Hi everyone I was able to get my screen name change. I was carterdm0604 now I am AarmyluvroN. so if you see comments or messages coming from this screen name its only me. :) ]]> Introductions and Updates AamyluvroN http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17042 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17029&goto=newpost Sun, 22 Aug 2010 14:28:50 GMT Hi my name is Alexis and I am new to this site. I am 27yrs old and live in North Carolina. I will be expecting my first child in April 2011. I am all... Hi my name is Alexis and I am new to this site. I am 27yrs old and live in North Carolina. I will be expecting my first child in April 2011. I am all alone here in North Carolina, my family lives in another state and my core group of close friends well we are all spread out across the country.The father to be has told me that he can't have another baby since he already has a son and there is a lot of drama involving him since he was told the news a couple of days ago. My mother is not being supportive as i would like, she is being really negative and pushing for abortion which i will not do. I am keeping my baby and knowing that the journey will not be as easy as I hoped but i am very excited to be a mom at the same time so scared b/c i am not sure I can do it financially and without a support team :( Any advice is appreciated since this is all so new for me. ]]> Introductions and Updates alone and scared mommy to http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17029 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17026&goto=newpost Sun, 22 Aug 2010 13:23:55 GMT Hi. My name is Samantha and I'm almost new to this forum. I signed up over a year ago but got sidetracked with life (go figure).

I'm an old hand at this single parenting thing though. I have a 14 year old daughter and 10 year old son.

It's nice to be here and see such an active board. I'm a single mom blogger too so feel free to visit my little spot sometimes. ]]> Introductions and Updates richsinglemomma http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17026 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17015&goto=newpost Sat, 21 Aug 2010 21:51:14 GMT Hi,
Dave is my name

I'm new to single parenting for last 5 months, a single Dad to 3 ranging from 3.5 to 9 months, based in Ireland. Sleep is my holy grail at the moment,,,,,, forget the lotto that can wait for a few months ! ]]> Introductions and Updates DaveC http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17015 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17010&goto=newpost Sat, 21 Aug 2010 15:38:24 GMT hey I am new on this site and I am a single mother of 2... I am just looking to talk to people Ihave lost my friends after my second child... hey I am new on this site and I am a single mother of 2... I am just looking to talk to people Ihave lost my friends after my second child... ]]> Introductions and Updates shy12 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17010 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16992&goto=newpost Wed, 18 Aug 2010 19:50:47 GMT Hello everyone, It has been along time since I've been on here and I've missed it terribly.Hopefully I can stick around longer this time.A little recap.I am 45,a single mom to my 15 year old son that keeps me extremely busy.That's about it,I work and raise my son.My question is this,does anyone know of a good accredited school that has online programs and no application fee.Yes,I am considering going back,again.I have attempted this numerous times and never saw it through.I really want this.If anyone can help I would be so thankful. ]]> Introductions and Updates trishl http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16992 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16965&goto=newpost Mon, 16 Aug 2010 05:47:09 GMT Hi everyone I joined last week and am sorta overwhelmed with the site any suggestions? There just seems to be so many areas and topics I don't know what to do first..... ]]> Introductions and Updates gem20kbb http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16965 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16958&goto=newpost Sun, 15 Aug 2010 03:40:11 GMT Hi, I'm a single dad to 3 kids, 2 boys and a wee girl.
I'm looking forward to meeting some new people and reading through all this information on here.
We live in a smallish town in the south island of New Zealand.

Keep smiling!
Shelds ]]> Introductions and Updates shelds http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16958 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16951&goto=newpost Sat, 14 Aug 2010 17:46:10 GMT Hi, Just wanted to give a brief history on my situation, Married 4 years, together 9. Had baby girl who is 2 now. When she was just 3 months old,... Hi, Just wanted to give a brief history on my situation,
Married 4 years, together 9. Had baby girl who is 2 now. When she was just 3 months old, left husband and moved in with my parents and have been here ever since. There's no connection with ex and child. Only saw child every 3-4 weeks for a few hours.
Living life as if he's 20 now with no responsibilities. Never received any child support even after asking mulitiple times.
Anyways, ex had a personality disorder and anxiety. Didn't want child. Gave him a chance when she was born to see if things would be different. Did not pressure him in any way but he was just so miserable. I needed to find support elsewhere because I wasn't able to cope with him and felt that the child needed more.
Anyways, now seems ex is completely normal. Said only married me because he felt pressured and only had a child (which he never wanted nor told me before) and stayed the whole few months together because of her...
I can't help but feel like now I've taken on his disorder. I question everything about my marriage and commitment and feel like I was just so blind to see all the signs.
He's going around telling mutual friends and family this. How do I cope? How do I go on or move forward knowing I caused him to be this way? Im so down and depressed. Im losing friends because of this. I feel alone and that there's no hope.
Anyone else experience this? He claims I caused him emotional abuse. How about all the things I put up with? ]]> Introductions and Updates whatsoever http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16951 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16941&goto=newpost Fri, 13 Aug 2010 20:54:57 GMT Hey guys! My name is Samantha. I'm a single mommy of my wonderful daughter Julia. He's almost two. Oh how time flies. Just wanted to get in here and meet some other wonder single parents fighting the good fight!!

XoXo
Samee

---------- Post added at 03:54 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:54 PM ----------

She! not he. sorry typo. :) ]]> Introductions and Updates SameeD http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16941