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Old 04-01-2011, 01:53 AM   #1
DaniMarie73 Female
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stubborn Done with guilt...

Nothing new to post, unfortunately... Although I am being more demanding... I'm at the end of my rope... I love them... but I can't feel guilty for things I can't help... I'm doing all I can... I can't help that their dad is not contributing at all... I can't help that I don't have a car right now, but I am saving... and I can help save by not giving them money for things they're NOT doing... They're not very happy with me right now but I don't care... I'm trying... their dad isn't... I'm sacrificing and struggling for them... from now on, I refuse to hang my head in shame because I can't provide them with what little Jimmy Two Income Household has... giving more than I can spare, out of guilt, is killing me... and we'll never get ahead...

By the way, making them do manual labor... just doesn't happen... I can't really strong arm them... I mean... I could... but it just won't work, ya know? I waited too long and I know this now... but I can't change what is done... I can only start from now and hope I can gain ground from here on out...

Wish Me Luck...
Danielle
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Old 04-01-2011, 02:23 AM   #2
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Default Re: Done with guilt...

I know the feeling of guilt for feeling like I can't keep up with the Jones' next door. I try, but I don't get child support either. So it is just what little I have right now. Now, my kid does not go without, that is for sure. And my situation is not as dire as yours is. But I do know how we as mom's (or dad's) ache for what we cannot do.

However, that does not excuse your children's behavior either. I think cutting them off is a good thing for your pocketbook, but also if they cannot behave and contribute to the family, then they don't need the extra's in life.

I live in an apartment so manual labor is not an option. However, you have some older teens, that if they really wanted money for things, could offer to do handyman work for neighbors, or find something to earn a dollar. My daughter is taking a babysitting course this summer for CPR so that she can babysit and make some extra money. She is GREAT with kids and she worked this summer for money for school clothes because I did not have the money at the time to provide them for her.

Guilt and Shame are not productive feelings. They won't help you. I hope that you do stop feeling those feelings and realize there comes a point when your kids need to help themselves.
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