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Old 07-09-2016, 12:04 PM   #1
Lizgen Female
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Default Young widow mum of two

Im lizz im 23 turning 24 a young mum and a widow. Im suffering from trAuma aeing my husband hd heart attack I also had panic attack, depression of lost and postnatal depression. Im not lroud about it and i feel very lost i know that i should cry less now because its been 6 mnths since he passed away but what do i do i feel alone even tho my family around me. I feel bad everytime i see my 2 yr old son looking at my phone and seing his dad photo it brks my heart and knowing that my baby girl wont even know how his dad as a father. My husband had a open heart surgery last yr october and successfully disacharge after a month and of course i felt relieve! But then 2 weeks after before midnight he had aheadt attack ny mind went blank my whole body shaking i called my sister in law in the other room to call the ambulance then she did i was so nervous doing a cpr but then his heart stop frim then he suffered from severe brain damage and in coma for 1 mnth he cant talk , half of his body bo longer working. They ask me to stop the feed so he can die without pain. I mean how can i do that to the i love to the father of my children. His mum starts blaming me that if only i know cpr i could have done that and not panic.. My trauma and depression is really bad i know its my fault i blame my self so many times , like if only i know that even with a healing stitches inhis chest i can di cpr.. But then i cant even look at him.. I just a baby our 2nd baby.. Sometimes i feel like i should be the one who died not him and if only i can offer my life instead.. Everyone expecting me to be allright because i have kids, and deep down i am doing my best as i can to be strong this is just very hard for me we got nothing im not working no nothing at all
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Old 07-12-2016, 10:29 AM   #2
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Default Re: Young widow mum of two

That is a lot to bear. Your reactions are perfectly normal and you have every right to feel them. When you feel a little more coherent you should see a councilor. They can help you through this. Just hold tight to your babies and ride out the storm. You are in my prayers.
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A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. --Patricia Neal

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe. --Anatole France
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Old 04-19-2017, 07:35 PM   #3
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Default Re: Young widow mum of two

Lizz,
First, let me say how sorry I am for your loss. I understand completely the mental torture you are going through. My wife died in a car accident in May of 2015. Our son was only a year old. He has no memory of her at all. I still think about it every single day. I don't think that will ever stop. Anyone who says you should just "be okay", they aren't in your situation and have no idea how you feel. Don't worry about what others think. Again, I am very sorry this happened to you. I am in my early 30s. I couldn't imagine this having happened in my 20s with children to worry about. I'm sure you are extremely stressed. You mentioned you are worried about your children not knowing their father. Right after my wife passed, I began a journal of my thoughts. At first, I was writing in it every day. Now, it's more like once a month or whenever I feel the need. My hope is to one day give it to my son so he will know exactly how much I did love his mother. Plus, it gave me a way to release some of the crazy thoughts that were circling in my head constantly. Eventually, I did see a counselor and so did my son. I'm not saying you should, but if you get to that point, there is no shame in doing what you need to get past this. You can't put a price on your mental health. If you have any questions about my situation, pleas ask. I would gladly share more about my experience with you.
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