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Old 09-21-2016, 11:20 PM   #1
Sam824 Male
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Default Looking for advice and support.

Hi my name is sam, and I am a single father of 3, living with my ex.

I have been with the same woman for 5 years. We had 3 beautiful children together, and thought life was great.

Last year I developed a chronic pain issue. It got so bad I was forced to leave my job of 10 years. She had to find a full time job and I was going to have to stay home with the kids.

A few weeks after she started her new job, she began being distant. I asked if everything with us was okay, she reassured me it was. Weeks went on with her being distant, coming home later normal, and just generally feeling like she was givin up. I could tell she was pulling away, but giving me no clear awnser as to why.

I noticed she has a pass code on her tablet one day. I asked why? She said so the kids can't get into it. I thought, hey, smart idea. She had no problem giving me her password, and that was that.

A few weeks later, with no change in her, I asked if there was someone else. She said no, that she loved me, but wasn't in love with me anymore. Ok. I just did everything I could to love her and attend to her needs. We ended up getting in an argument over the kids, she said it again, and left for work.

A few days later, her phone kept ringing, she was sound asleep. I figured someone calling that much, it must be important. I typed in her password 3 times, to find out it was incorrect. I told her she she woke up that someone was calling over and over, so I looked to see if it was important, but it said your pass code was wrong. Wow did my life change after that.

She got very agressive, told me I was questioning her too much and she needed her privacy. Whoa.. ok. She had never acted this way before, so I was now having a bad gut feeling. After 1 more week of completely ignoring me at all costs, I became desperate. I watched her type her pass code in one day, and waited till she fell asleep. Worst decision of my life, I should of never read what I read.

I was devistated, she was talking to an old highschool friend, sending good morning pics, having sweet talk, even telling each other they loved one another. The next few weeks were painful, she didn't want to stop talking to him, and I just wanted the woman of my 3 children back. She eventually ceased contact with him, told him she made a mistake, and seemed really genuine that she made a bad choice.

We were fine for months, everything seemed great. She quit the job she was working because she asked for higher pay and they refused. Even though I had a back issue, I told her I would try my hardest to pick up the slack till she can get another job. I went through a temporary agency, got a job, and barley made it 3 weeks with my back. By this time she had found a second shift job at a factory, with full time hours.

A few weeks into her new job she starts to act distant again. I was afraid to say anything, as she got so agressive and defensive last time. I waited it out, again. Well, shame on me. She had sex with a man twice, and not to mention the other thing she was sending out on social media apps. Uck...

This time I was crushed. I curled up into a ball like a little child a cried my heart out. I went from a man, to a little boy that felt like his high school sweet heart just ripped out his heart.

She seemed to have little remorse for what she did. I left her alone, I locked myself in another room and just cried. The next day she asks me to marry her, let's just get married she says, it will make things better. I know I'm supposed to be with you for the rest of my life. I thought to myself, what woman wants to marry a man that she doesn't see a future with? So I did it, we got engaged, and she pledged to be faithful.

2 weeks ago she ended the engagment, told me we were done, as has just become very cold and bitter. She doesn't seem to care about our kids, or the house anymore. She works all evening and night, and comes home 2-3 hours after work. She sleeps till she has to leave for work, and never spends time with her children. I don't think she's told them she loves them in weeks.

I have become a single dad of 3, with a chronic pain issue, and I'm depressed that my girlfriend of 5 years would cheat, fake an engagement, and even give up caring about her own children.

If I even remotely try to stand my ground, tell her she needs to spend more time with her children, or help me with something around the house, she threatens to kick me out. As I have no family and friends here to run to for support, I am left raising myour 3 children in a house that feels like a horrible nightmare.

She will come home and sleep in the same bed with me, even putting her arm around me and pulling me close to go to sleep. This is hard, knowing the next day she will just stay sleeping, and give our kids nothing.

At this point I want to sleep separate from her, as I'm so hurt inside when I touch her, but also relieved at the same time, because she has always been my comfort. Am I just prolonging the pain here?

Is there anyone out there going through this experience, or has had this experience? I need some support and advice on this, I'm super confused and quite lost as of what to do.
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Old 09-22-2016, 01:00 AM   #2
muskiedad Male
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Default Re: Looking for advice and support.

She sounds like a manipulator to me......I would seek legal advice on this. One has to be careful and do things properly just to make sure where you stand.
As for her actions, can you trust her? It doesn't sound like counselling would help....but one never knows. Based on what you have written though, I'd be cutting my loses.
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Old 09-22-2016, 01:33 AM   #3
DarthMom25 Female
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Default Re: Looking for advice and support.

I'm terribly sorry that you're going through all of this. I agree with muskiedad, though. I think you need to seek legal advice. I know you can't work out of the home, but there are so many things you can do to work at home so that you can still take care of yourself and your children.

At this point, I think you just need to focus on yourself and your kids. Yeah, it'll be hard for a while, but it does not sound like y'all have a healthy relationship at all, and that is only going to hurt your children more the longer it goes on.

Try to start working from home. Seek legal counsel on what you could do to gain custody of the children if that's what you want. I hate that it might come down to it, but you may have to end up kicking her out or finding a new place for you and your children.

You could look into counseling. It might help. Maybe she has feelings that she doesn't know how to deal with.

Either way, I really hope that everything works out for you!
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Old 09-25-2016, 08:04 AM   #4
SamarthGodara Male
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Default Re: Looking for advice and support.

I am a psychologist, in your situation i would like to advice you some simple things.
1 - introduce new creative activities in your life - for example camping,etc
2 - start light exercise
3 - start hobby for your own like gardenning or something else
As of now i want you to try my advice for atleast 2 weeks and you will find great change in your life.
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Old 03-07-2017, 07:11 PM   #5
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Default Re: Looking for advice and support.

Breakups and Revenge

Revenge Your Ex

Each day hundreds of men and women seek revenge on their ex-mates for a
variety of reasons, usually because they got dumped or where cheated on.
Revenge comes in many ways. It typically starts by using social media to
vent, and then escalates from there. Now sites like "Get Revenge On Your Ex"
for a fee will help you get pay back or revenge.

So what is the best way to get revenge besides slashing her tires, posting
nude photos of her and so on.

The best way according to the web site Right Choices 101 is to live your
life well. This is true no matter who you are seeking revenge on. Coworkers,
past bosses, bad friends or ex-lovers. Put your energy into succeeding and
enjoying your life, not wasting your time, energy and resources on revenge
that can end up costing you much more. Plus, when you seek revenge, you send
them a massage that you have not gotten over the relationship. It's much
better to show you are indifferent and don't care.

According to Kenneth Agee of A Foreign Affair, a service that specializes in
helping men find young beautiful foreign women, "The best revenge is to date
or marry a women 10 years younger than your ex. This will piss her off to no
end. No woman ever wants to be replaced with a younger, more attractive
woman. Just like a man never likes to get replaced by a guy who is wealthier
or more successful.

I will never forget one of my first clients we took to Saint Petersburg,
Russia." says Agee, "The client told me that two days on our tour was better
than two years of therapy. Having hundreds of attractive women fighting over
you gets your ex out of your mind pretty quick.

I personally went through break up when my ex ran off with another man. But
a short time later, I met a new lady who was ten times better. I ran into
that man who stole my ex and I gave him a big thanks. In fact, I could not
thank him enough. He was stuck with an older nagging women, while I was now
with a young, beautiful, caring women. Plus, my ex had gained about 100
pounds. I don't look at that fellow as any kind of enemy but as the person
who saved me from my ex and years of suffering." This is the best a revenge
when you win without lowering yourself.

Other sites like "Get Over Her Now" give practical advice and tips for
getting over a past relationship.

Top Tips from Get Over Her Now:

Start making platonic relationships with as many women as possible, old,
young, skinny, fat, cute or ugly. This greatly helps you get back in the
game of socializing with the opposite sex. And it opens up lots
opportunities to meet their cute attractive friends in a more relaxed
environment. This also helps you build your game and confidence.

Improve yourself, start working out, get up early every day and exercise.

Buy new clothes. Dressing better makes you feel better and improves your

Focus on work and getting a promotion or raise. Don't let a break up effect
your work negatively. Put that extra effort into work and it will pay off
with a better position and more money. This will also build your confidence
and help attract better quality women.

Any time you are depressed, improving yourself helps greatly. When you feel
depressed, don't sit and watch TV and then sleep-in late. Get out and do
something that will make you feel like you've accomplished something. Take a
class, go hiking, fix something you've been putting off.

Don't start drinking. Drinking will always have a negative impact on your
life. Don't drink while depressed or when you are trying to get over some
one. After all, drinking is for celebrating. So if you are not celebrating
something, don't drink. A quality women is not going to be attracted to
someone who drinks a lot or has a drinking problem.

Don't sleep in; sleeping late increases depression. Get up as early as you
can and go for a walk, take a hike, or go to the Gym. Research shows getting
up early and exercising can eliminate depression. You will have no game be

Don't binge eat. If you start gaining weight, you will feel less self-worth
and lose your confidence. Confidence is a quality that women are extremely
attracted to.

Conclusion, the best revenge is when you improve your life so well that she
realizes she made a big mistake. And satisfaction comes when you meet
someone so much better, you are glad the ex is gone. After all, if you are
seeking revenge, how great could she really have been in the first place!
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