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Old 10-04-2004, 04:03 AM   #1
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I have been living at my parents home for three months now since my boyfriend decided to move out on me and our son when our baby was two weeks old. Since then it has been an up and down process of trying to work things out with him. One day he wants to be active is upset that he is missing out on things our son is doing and wants us to come and live with him. then the next day he is not sure that he can afford us to come and live with him. Other times he wants to tell people how difficult it is being a parent though he only sees our son a couple of times a week for a few hours. He does not change diapers and yesterday was the first time he ever fed the baby cereal b/c he did not like giving him pumped milk b/c it made him feel weird.. when we are together we have so much fun and everything feels so right still-when we have a babysitter. when we have our son with us it seems like he is uncomfortable and would rather not really pay attention to our son. i guess many people want their mate to want to focus their attention on them but i want him to focus on our son and not on me. i am not the one changing everyday and growing so quickly. two weeks ago he wanted us to move in with him we found a place and everything then he decides he feels as though he is pushing me and decides not to get the place now he wants to find a one bedroom apartment for himself that our son and i can come and visit him in =====we live an hour away from one another. i think that that is stupid b/c then i would be toting our son and his things in between two different households basically b/c daddy does not want to come off the money to get a two bedroom for all of us. i think he does not want to give up his lifestyle he has no idea what it is like living with a baby he still has the mentality that it is okay to want to go out and get food or something at midnight or go out with friends at the spur of the moment. he thinks that all i do is stay at home all day and watch tv he does not realize all of the things that i do during the day staying at home with our son. i am so frustrated that i am the only one doing everything for our son while he is being able to go out and do anything he wants with no thought. he tells me that he is unsure if we should live together b/c in may he has the possibility of getting an out of state job and i am not sure i am willing to move away from my family---is that wrong?? he tells me that b/c of our son he should be my main concern of family now. should i give up everything that is important to me though just to follow him to some job? its hard enough with ppl and support around i am afraid of doing this w/o any. he tells me my job is now having my son and being a mom and that i should put my career on hold i am putting it on hold for 6months how long should i put it on hold?? I can not live with my parents forever and if he is not willing to support us I have to which means giving my son to my grandparents to watch while i am at work and missing so much. none of this is the way i had wanted everything. what kind of role model am i to my son if i can not even support us and not live with my parents and should i give up the things i want like being close to my family for my baby's father/boyfriendish career? Ahhh i am so frustrated! sorry needed to vent
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Old 10-04-2004, 02:21 PM   #2
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I think you both need to sit down and talk things through. If you are going to be in a relationship, you need to compromise. It can't always be your way and it can't always be his. On the other hand. It does sound like he may be looking for a way out. If he isn't ready to be a father, you can't make him. It is not possible to force someone to feel what they don't or act the way they should. I hope everything works out for you. Know that we are here when you need to vent.

It takes a few mere minutes to create a life. It takes a strong heart to parent a child!
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