Wild Dancing Thanksgivng Turkey Am I being selfish? - Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices
All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!
         


Go Back   Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices >
(``'·.¸(``'·.¸ Single Parenting - Through The Ages¸.·'´´)¸.·'´´)
> Child Care


~ Donate Today ~ PLEASE
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-05-2011, 12:09 PM   #1
AamyluvroN Female
Lively & Zealous Parent
 
AamyluvroN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 574
Rep Power: 110
AamyluvroN has a brilliant futureAamyluvroN has a brilliant futureAamyluvroN has a brilliant future
Default Am I being selfish?

I like to say hello to all again. I have not been on here in a few months now but in need of some advice. My son's father and I have been a good relationship when it comes to my son(18 months). My son's daycare was having some issues and I decided to remove him from there. I would like to put my son in a daycare my three nephews have been attending. They have been going there for the past 7 years. i absolutely love them. A girlfriend of mines enrolled her son and loves it as well. Her son is 2 mnths younger than mines but they will be in the same class. The curriculm is wonderful, they go on field trips, do artwork, ease the toddlers into potty training, etc. Not only that my family is more active in my son's life so its convenient for them as well if my son gets sick they will be able to get to him faster than me and his father will. My son's father lives about 15-20 minutes away from the daycare. The day care is about 5-10 min away from my house. He is complaining about he can not take this long trip because he has to pass his job to get to the day care. He wants to put him a daycare close to his home. Which means it will be 30 minutes for me to take him to that daycare then another 40 minutes to get to work. I wanted to enroll our son in the daycare I love on this past Monday but i was being considerate and allowing his dad to check out the facility and meet the owner and my son's soon to be teacher. Now what i find crazy is he only gets my son 1-2x a week and he complaining about passing his job on those days to take our son to daycare. so my question is am i being selfish for enrolling my son in this daycare w/o his dad saying yes?
AamyluvroN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2011, 01:35 PM   #2
cdarnold2 Female
Parent on Board
 
cdarnold2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 153
Rep Power: 88
cdarnold2 has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Am I being selfish?

If you have your son the majority of the time then I don't think it's selfish to need a convenient facility for you. It doesnt make any sense for you to have to go out of your way 3 or 4 times a week so it will be convenient for him once or twice a week. I do think it would be better in the long run if the two of you could find a place that's convenient for both of you, but if that is just not possible then you have the right to make the final decision.
cdarnold2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2011, 02:58 PM   #3
AamyluvroN Female
Lively & Zealous Parent
 
AamyluvroN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 574
Rep Power: 110
AamyluvroN has a brilliant futureAamyluvroN has a brilliant futureAamyluvroN has a brilliant future
Default Re: Am I being selfish?

thanks cda. I take everything my ex into consideration because at the end of the day he is my son's father. I have tried to outweigh the positives and negatives of having a daycare near his job/home or closer to my home/job but it seems like all the positives are resulting in a daycare near my home. I will go with my heart and do what i have to do. thanks again.
AamyluvroN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2011, 03:31 PM   #4
LSL Female
The blunt one;)


 
LSL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Somewhere on the left coast
Posts: 11,334
Rep Power: 412
LSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Am I being selfish?

Nope, it's logical. And really, it's not that far from the ex. But the other day care is way out of the way for you. Remember that you have primary custody, and this is one of the things that YOU get to decide at the end of the day that effects the best interest of your son. Being in a good facility with a child that he knows is considered that. Being central to all involved is considered just that. Father is being a tad bit unreasonable here.
__________________
“If your expectations aren’t to be the best, then… you know, nobody rises to low expectations.” - Chip Kelly, coach of Oregon Football.
LSL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2011, 03:38 PM   #5
Jamie's_Mum Female
English & proud

 
Jamie's_Mum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,700
Rep Power: 131
Jamie's_Mum has a reputation beyond reputeJamie's_Mum has a reputation beyond reputeJamie's_Mum has a reputation beyond reputeJamie's_Mum has a reputation beyond reputeJamie's_Mum has a reputation beyond reputeJamie's_Mum has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Am I being selfish?

Hey i was wondering where you had been lately!!

No you're not being selfish at all, you need to make things as easy as possible for yourself with this as you're the one who has him most.
__________________
Im not scared of dying i just dont want to
If i stop lying id just disappoint you
Jamie's_Mum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2011, 01:30 AM   #6
Mommyofone Female
Lively & Zealous Parent
 
Mommyofone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: USA Southeast
Posts: 646
Rep Power: 112
Mommyofone has a brilliant futureMommyofone has a brilliant futureMommyofone has a brilliant future
Default Re: Am I being selfish?

I dont understand that if u have your son majority of the time that you have to arrange it around keeping it convient for him vs you... in an ideal world it would be in the middle but life isnt always fair and it should be whatever is best for him. It sounds like the daycare you want him to go too is a good place and u can trust and to me trusting ur daycare is really important and perk for u is it is closer.... but in the same token i have a feeling if the daycare was closer to him you would still take him to be at that daycare... to me it is selfish to ask for him to be 5 mins to him yet its making u drive so much for what convenience for him not the best interest of your child esp when u are the one always taking him and picking him up and he only picks him up what twice... grrrr
__________________
Mommyofone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2011, 04:33 PM   #7
AamyluvroN Female
Lively & Zealous Parent
 
AamyluvroN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 574
Rep Power: 110
AamyluvroN has a brilliant futureAamyluvroN has a brilliant futureAamyluvroN has a brilliant future
Default Re: Am I being selfish?

Thanks everyone. I have played this over and over in my head and I just dont understand what the big issue was with him. I think he feels i am controlling everything when it comes to our son. I am not but at the same time I have him majority of the time so my decisions are in the best interest of my son and this daycare is a great daycare and i love it. i really think its a money issue with him. but who cares...taking care of a child is not cheap.

---------- Post added at 03:33 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:32 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jamie's_Mum View Post
Hey i was wondering where you had been lately!!.
Hey. I am in my last semester of school so i was focusing on graduating. YAY for me. Lol I am also in the process of buying a house so that has been a huge headache. but things have calmed down. I graduate next saturday and i have put in an offer on a house. so I'm just waiting now...
AamyluvroN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-10-2011, 06:03 PM   #8
pains Female
I am New
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Jamaica ,Montego bay ,St James
Posts: 10
Rep Power: 0
pains is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Am I being selfish?

Hi yall am new here
Listen my sister now days I don't knw whts wrong with these fathers
They act as if they r the mothers and we r the father so hear wht do wht u
Knw would be even better and best for u in the long run
pains is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Resources: youngrobin.com
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
selfish me.... LOL muskiedad Ex's 19 09-11-2010 03:57 PM
Am I selfish? AamyluvroN Blended Parenting - OPEN 24 Hour 11 06-01-2010 09:38 AM
am I being selfish? honeybeesmom 20 Something Single Moms 13 05-31-2004 05:21 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:08 PM.

Some parent places to visit:
A Single Parents
Parent Arium
Solo Parents
Single Parent Personal Ads



Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SoloParent
Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SingleParentsInformation
Powered by vbulletin

All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!

A Community for single parents, step parents and blended families

Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.