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Old 01-28-2014, 12:00 PM   #1
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humm To switch or not to switch??

I have been thinking lately about getting R into preschool. I think he is ready to try it.

I looked into it, and there is a private one that is about $60 more a week than we are paying now (not awful) that is a combo preschool/daycare. It runs from 6:30 AM-6 PM (you can drop off anytime between 6:30 and 8:30 AM). They have an educational curriculum. They work on potty training too- no potty training requirement and they will actually potty train them during the day!

And of course I am suckered by the fact that built into tuition they have a daily special learning activity: Yoga on Mondays, Sign Language Tuesdays, Spanish Wednesdays, Kindermusik Thursdays, and Library/Librarian on Fridays.

I feel like it would be good for R on many levels including socialization with kids his age. The classes are only 12 kids with 2 teachers. It's also 8 minutes from our home, instead of 30 minutes up near where DH works.

The only thing is my heart kinda hurts about switching him into there. He is happy where he is at right now with his in home care provider, there is no doubt about that. She LOVES him, dropped her price when we moved to be able to KEEP him, and R loves her. But he is making no potty progress, and I am not sure how much learning is going on (J tells me the TV is usually on).

I feel like R is at the right age to start having more of a school setting and activities with kids his age. He is not socializing well at all right now with other 2 year olds.

But it makes me scared because I don't want him to be unhappy all day at a preschool. On the surface it looks like a wonderful program. And, I'd have to see how they feel about the legal situation and R's dad trying to manipulate things.

Suggestions?

I have already called to inquire about a trial day or two while reserving his spot, to see how he adjusts. Trying to think of other ways to test the waters.
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Old 01-28-2014, 12:43 PM   #2
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Default Re: To switch or not to switch??

Call the state licensing boards and see if there have been any complaints. Check out YELP and see if there are any reviews.

Honestly, if R is a bright inquisitive kid, he is going to be way happier where there is a routine and lots of activities.

When A was little, first she went to work with me. Then she transitioned into in home daycare. But by 3 1/2 she NEEDED preschool. The best thing I did was transition her into a structured center. By the time she was in kindergarten (1 year earlier than she should be), she could read small books, spell her name, count to 50 and so on.... she would never have been there in an inhome daycare. Also, the older she got, the more trouble she got into at her in home daycare because she was bored. So she would pick at other kids, bite, and otherwise do some pretty ornery things. All that stopped when she went into an actual preschool/daycare.
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Old 01-28-2014, 02:08 PM   #3
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Default Re: To switch or not to switch??

He is definitely bright and inquisitive. His favorite phrase right now is "What is it Mommy?".

I think he will probably be happy there. Just kind of tugging at my heart.
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Old 01-28-2014, 09:02 PM   #4
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Default Re: To switch or not to switch??

I put my daughter in Montessori at 3 and she LOVED it. It was just what she needed as far as structure and learning to deal with others and feelings. She was also way ahead when she started kindergarten this year. Her class mates are learning letters and number concepts and she learned that years ago. I think it was very beneficial for her to be in that environment.
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Old 01-29-2014, 04:16 PM   #5
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Default Re: To switch or not to switch??

As usual the donor had his two cents and told me that R will "not like the routine and activities" and to "let him be a kid till he is 3.5".

.....uhh........
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Old 01-30-2014, 01:06 AM   #6
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Default Re: To switch or not to switch??

.....I may agree with your ex here. Give him a year, then do preschool. He will spend the next 15 years plus more if he does college in a classroom environment. Kids learn so much by parents who read to them, play with them and teach using natural encounters. Count toys, sing nursery rhymes, play games, learn the ABC's and shapes. And, unless he is taking diapers off, using potty talk, really bothered by a wet or soiled diaper, all the prsschooling in the world can't change an individual childs readiness, it could only show by example...which may or may not help.
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Old 01-30-2014, 11:32 AM   #7
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Default Re: To switch or not to switch??

I guess my question is this: what is not allowing a child to be a child by placing them in a daycare that also has preschool activities? Kids CRAVE routine and structure. I would agree if it were a mini school with a structure like elementary school -- but if they have playtime, imagination time, so on... it's all good.

Some kids need to be kept busy to avoid getting in trouble. R sounds like that kind of boy.

And why talk to ex about it? He doesn't get to choose.
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Old 01-30-2014, 03:16 PM   #8
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Default Re: To switch or not to switch??

You are right, LSL....I read it wrong...I was thinking her in-home gal did preschool in the mornings that it was the "daycare/preschool". If you don't have to consult with the ex...don't. But, even still, never under estimate your ability as a parent to teach R what he needs at this young age.
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Old 01-31-2014, 10:57 PM   #9
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Default Re: To switch or not to switch??

That preschool sounds great- kids adapt well to change. Stop second guessing yourself. I don'tknow why you asked your ex, he is much like mine and will never be rational or mature. He's not capable of coparenting, and I fear you keep seeking some sort of respect from him that he's just not capable of giving.
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Old 02-03-2014, 11:54 PM   #10
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Default Re: To switch or not to switch??

I asked because my lawyer always says if I can do the right thing and it doesn't cost me anything, I should do it. Talking it over with ex makes it less of a dictation. Even if at the end of the day I'm the one making the call.
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Old 02-04-2014, 01:05 PM   #11
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Default Re: To switch or not to switch??

it's true, cf, you are the one making the call, so i say go for it.

my girls *love/d* their preschool and both started young (18 months for DD2 and 2 years for DD1), as they had a toddler program, and i just love how they nurture(d) free play and creativity. sure there were 'rules' (i.e. no biting, yelling indoors, etc.), and some bit of structure (small group activities that were fun and age appropriate), but i can't say enough good things about how the little kids are/were (my oldest is in 2nd grade now, youngest still there) encouraged to inquire, explore, learn about their world, and also develop social skills by being around children their own age i.e. to "use their words" (as they got older) and identifying feelings (rather than pushing, shoving, yelling, etc. when frustrated) right now the 3 year old groups are watching caterpillars change from baby caterpillars to chrysalis to full on butterflies--it's so exciting! :-) anyway, just my two cents. we are throwing a 4th birthday party for dd2 and she has given me a list of her best pals that she wants to be there--it's really darn cute how we hear about the same best pals every day. :-)

also, you can ask the preschool director for parent references and call them--you can go in and take a tour and they may have a transition plan on how to introduce a new child...for the toddler program, they would have my DD1 come and visit for half a day for the first two days before going for it all day. but kids do respond well to routine.

also, with the toddler program at the girls preschool--they also helped with pottying and honestly, i think when they saw other kids their age doing it, it was a helpful incentive for them to get on board with it, too. it was nice to coordinate with the preschool teachers so we were doing it at the same time--all day at school and then at home on nights and week ends.

anyway! just wanted to offer my thoughts and experiences. happy tuesday!
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