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Old 07-01-2005, 02:48 PM   #1
Lovebug
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My son is 2 years old. He has been going to day care since he was 6 months old. Starting over two months ago he screams ______ murder when I drop him off. The daycare lady has to pry his fingers off of me so that I can go to work. I have tried buying him special t-shirts to wear to daycare to show his friends (i.e. Nemo, Sponge Bob, and Winnie the Pooh) and I even let him bring a toy so that he can show the other children. He is all excited untill we get there then he screams. It is very hard to leave your child when he is acting like that. I am hoping to get ideas to ease the transition in the morning. I am near to tears on a daily basis. Any ideas would be appreciated!!
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Old 07-01-2005, 02:48 PM   #2
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My son is 2 years old. He has been going to day care since he was 6 months old. Starting over two months ago he screams ______ murder when I drop him off. The daycare lady has to pry his fingers off of me so that I can go to work. I have tried buying him special t-shirts to wear to daycare to show his friends (i.e. Nemo, Sponge Bob, and Winnie the Pooh) and I even let him bring a toy so that he can show the other children. He is all excited untill we get there then he screams. It is very hard to leave your child when he is acting like that. I am hoping to get ideas to ease the transition in the morning. I am near to tears on a daily basis. Any ideas would be appreciated!!
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Old 07-01-2005, 03:04 PM   #3
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Is this a new daycare? If so, it will just take time and you may need to allow a few extra minutes to get him interested in something else there. If this is the same daycare he's always been at, is there a new teacher? I know my son started acting like that after having been at the same daycare for 2 years when he was 3 because of a teacher that wasn't so nice and didn't pay attention to them. After I went and picked him up one afternoon where he was running a temp of 103, had a red face from the fever and screaming and the top of his shirt was all wet from his tears, I wrote a letter to the administrators of the school and then sat down w/the administrator and the teacher letting them know that there was no way that had only come about in the last few minutes of the day. Turns out he had such a severe case of strep throat that they ER dr had to give him a shot in his upper thigh. Needless to say, the teacher was fired and he went back to his old self w/in days. I would just find something that is different and keep an eye on things. Good luck.
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Old 07-01-2005, 04:19 PM   #4
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Oh my goodness! I am going through the same thing right now and my son just turned 5. He has attended the same daycare since 6 months and I rarely had a problem with him crying about staying. For the past 2 weeks, he cries, holds on, and runs after me. Since he is more vocal than your 2 year old, it has been somewhat easy to realize he just doesn't want to be there. I ask him questions everyday. And, we went to our first 'counseling' appt this week. We have come to the conclusion that this is a power struggle and he just wants his way. I do not believe there is a problem with the daycare.

Lovebug: Hang in there! Even tho it's rough leaving him, chances are he's just going through a phase. I called my sons counselor once again yesterday - he said even if my son cries all day, to leave him there rather than have him learn he cries and gets his way. For the past several days, I've lingered at daycare for half hour at least. Today --> 2 minutes. My son was calm within 15 minutes.
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Old 07-01-2005, 04:22 PM   #5
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And for ideas... Have you tried offering him a daily reward (small toy or sticker for chart?) My counselor advised start with a daily reward and then a weekly.

I understand what your going through. So far, this is the most difficult thing I've ever been through. Although everyone says - you have to walk away from them. They will learn. It is the most heart-wrenching situation to watch ur child cry for you.
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Old 07-01-2005, 05:10 PM   #6
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Did you ask the provider about his behavior once you leave??? How does he behave through out the day???
My son who is going on seven did the same thing when he was about 1 or 2. I felt sooooo bad for leaving him but I had to work. Then I thought " hey they must be doing something to my baby" to make him act this way. So one day I droped him off waited about a 1/2 hour and tip toed in. To my surprise he was laughing and playing. When I picked him up I mention it to the woman in charge she said he did this everyday, as soon as I left he would change into a different boy playful and all. She told me that he reacted off of my emotions. So day after day it slowely stopped. My daughter did the same thing but only for a week or so because my son got me hip to the toddler guilt m/o.
I am not saying this is true for your situation. But I would suggest you talk to the provider.
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Old 07-01-2005, 05:25 PM   #7
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I am sorry to hear you are having trouble. Your son is at an age where he can be a little more needy, but before I blame it on that I also would look to see if something has changed in the daycare. Is this a home daycare or a center? Centers sometimes change people where home daycares normally don't as often.
How is he if you leave him with someone else like grandma or something? Does he still cry or does he go right to her? How does he interact with the care giver? These are things I would look at first. Once you decide what the problem is you can better address it. If it is just him being more needy you may need to spend a little extra time with him outside of daycare. I agree that leaving quickly will help. I know it breaks your heart and it is very difficult.
If you can let him know you are going to call him once during the day and then call on your break or something. This will give him something to look forward to while in daycare and also let him know you have not forgotten him. I have had some parents bring pictures of themselves and it seems to help the children feel more comfortable.
I hope it smooths out for you soon.
God bless.
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Old 07-07-2005, 02:30 PM   #8
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Thank you for all your responses. My son attends a day care facility. The people have not changed. I talked to his care giver and she told me that 10 minutes after I leave he is fine and doesnt cry for the rest of the day. I know that he is being well taken care of but it definitly is heart wrenching to leave him like that. The window in his classroom looks out to where the cars are parked and I can see him crying as I leave. I am going to try giving him a treat everytime I pick him for not crying when I drop him off. I know that he loves everyone there because he talks about them constantly. It is good to hear that I am not going through this alone. Thanks everyone for your great ideas and support.
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Old 07-07-2005, 03:15 PM   #9
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Lovebug -
It does seem like he's going through a little separation anxiety. I mentioned before that my son is doing the same thing (he's five.) The counselor I spoke to (I called twice to verify) said leaving without returning is the right thing to do. Today my son actually walked to the window himself to wave. He was sad faced but this was a huge difference from the past two weeks (he's been holding onto me, crying, and then burying his head in the caretakers shoulders.) You mentioned that you can see him crying through the window. Any possibility that they can bring him to that window to wave to you? It may make it even harder for you or him but it's worth a try. Maybe the extra goodbye might help him. It will get better! When my son started this, I felt like I needed to quit my job (of course I didn't - unrealistic) and stay home with him. It is heartwrenching. My most difficult struggle yet.

Good luck!
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Old 07-11-2005, 03:30 PM   #10
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Lovebug:
[qb] My son is 2 years old. He has been going to day care since he was 6 months old. Starting over two months ago he screams ______ murder when I drop him off. The daycare lady has to pry his fingers off of me so that I can go to work. I have tried buying him special t-shirts to wear to daycare to show his friends (i.e. Nemo, Sponge Bob, and Winnie the Pooh) and I even let him bring a toy so that he can show the other children. He is all excited untill we get there then he screams. It is very hard to leave your child when he is acting like that. I am hoping to get ideas to ease the transition in the morning. I am near to tears on a daily basis. Any ideas would be appreciated!! [/qb] </div></BLOCKQUOTE>It breaks your heart, I know. My daughter did the same thing to me and the owners of the daycare (it was actually Montessori School) were so kind and understanding in assuring me that in "a couple of days" she would be fine.

And they were right, but I felt so guilty at work all day thinking about my kid. I totally understand, and it's true that in just a week's time or so this will all pass.

Hang in there!
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Old 07-11-2005, 03:48 PM   #11
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Update for my son to give you encouragement:

He only had sad faces on Thursday and Friday when I dropped him off. Today he ran along with a friend to wave at me. He was smiling... My mom was with me waving at him also and she said "blow kisses and hugs to mom..." that was it. Crying again! BUT, I think the phase is passing... Hopefully by the end of the week.
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Old 07-11-2005, 10:52 PM   #12
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That is great news. My 5 yr old twins do this a few times a week to me. It takes 3 teachers to get them off of me when I have a jacket on as they grab so tightly... seems easier to pry fingers from my arms. IT is miserable. They watch me out the window and wave, but about 1/2 the time one starts and then the other chimes in. They stop very soon after so I know they are o.k. For us it has to do with all the changes and not knowing when they will see their dad and NOT wanting me to be working.

When they used to go to regular old 2day preschool only one of them did it just for the first 2 months or so.... she had another little bought of it later in the winter but that was it and she calmed down very quickly.

So, if he does stop don't be surprised if he goes through spurts of it. Definitely nothing to worry about for him, at 2. As a former teacher I can say they usually calm down VERY quickly and the smoother and faster you walk out the door the better for everybody (although NOT easy I know)
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Old 10-19-2007, 06:44 PM   #13
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I had the same problem with my youngest when she was 4...she would scream her head off everyday but she loved it at the same time.....she always said it was because she had to take naps....I made sure i started making her take naps(even though she hated them) on the weekends to help transition her to this new daycare. Is it a new daycare??? If so I believe it will take time and things will get better
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