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Old 05-11-2017, 07:27 PM   #1
CharliesPop
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Default 2 kids 1 child support

Hey all
I have a 19month old daughter who's mother also has a 14 year old son. Now the thing is she doesn't bother to try and collect child support from her sons dad. I feel like the child support I give her for my daughter is mostly (indirectly) going towards her sons comforts.
I'm debating opening a separate savings account to save the child support until I know she's at least trying to collect from her sons father. The real kick in the ___ is she values her new found friendship with her sons dad to be more valuable and they have weekly "family dinners" while at the same time she makes it increasingly difficult for me to see my own daughter.
How bad of an idea is this?
How much legal trouble could I get in?
and is there a better way going about doing this?
Thanks
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Old 05-12-2017, 07:42 AM   #2
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Default Re: 2 kids 1 child support

Morning Charliespop, and welcome.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CharliesPop View Post
Now the thing is she doesn't bother to try and collect child support from her sons dad.
How do you know this or are you guessing? Either way, maybe he does other things to help out...?

Quote:
Originally Posted by CharliesPop View Post
I feel like the child support I give her for my daughter is mostly (indirectly) going towards her sons comforts.
Is it or isn't it? If it goes towards paying bills, buying food and such....
Keep in mind I have never been on the other end (the payee).
That said, keep in mind how difficult it would be to keep monies separated and let one child go without, while providing for another child, in my opinion.


Quote:
Originally Posted by CharliesPop View Post
I'm debating opening a separate savings account to save the child support until I know she's at least trying to collect from her sons father.
Not your concern, frankly. The courts have a way of dealing with this when there are multiple children and fathers involved. I get your frustration, but is your daughter going without? Being neglected? Not getting fed or clothed?


Quote:
Originally Posted by CharliesPop View Post
The real kick in the ___ is she values her new found friendship with her sons dad to be more valuable and they have weekly "family dinners" while at the same time she makes it increasingly difficult for me to see my own daughter.
How is you and the mothers relationship? There's not enough information...have you spoke to her and asked that all of you have a family dinner night? How does she make it difficult for you to see her?


Quote:
Originally Posted by CharliesPop View Post
How bad of an idea is this?
How much legal trouble could I get in?
and is there a better way going about doing this?
Thanks
Depends. Do you guys have a court ordered agreement regarding custody and child support?
If there is a court order, bad idea. You can go to jail.
If there is not a court order..well, from my end it sounds selfish, and childish. I know lots of parents do not use child support as it should be used, men and women alike. Sadly, unfortunately, until the courts come up with a more direct way of dealing with child support in regards to the child it is intended for, this will always be the case, imo.

The best way to go about child support in my opinion, is to have it go through the state, DSS or whatever they call public assistance where you are. This keep a legal record of payments made. I would not suggest anyone pay directly. Very few ex situations are amicable enough to do it any other way.

Just my 2 cents
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Old 05-15-2017, 08:48 AM   #3
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Default Re: 2 kids 1 child support

When I took my oldest daughter's father to court because his then current wife did not want my child in their house he put her in with her parents to live. The judge told me that I do not have a say in what relative of his she lives with or what he spends child support on unless I can prove my daughter was being neglected. That is the reality for a non-custodial parent and it sucks. Sorry.
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