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Old 04-05-2013, 01:31 PM   #1
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humm Moving, no contact, no custody agreement

Me and DS live with my parents currently. It is an arrangement that has surprisingly worked out wonderfully for everyone. My parents are planning a move out of state to head south for retirement and want us to go with them. I want to go, and of course DS does too as he just adores his grandparents.

Ex is on the birth certificate and required to pay child support but has not paid in years.

There is no custody agreement/visitation order. Have not heard from the ex in 6 years.

Legally, I can move with out notice to him or having to go through the courts. However, I am nervous about moving. My current state would hold jurisdiction until I was in the new state for 6 months, correct?

What if the ex decided to file for visitation after all these years during that 6 month time frame? I know I would be required to deal with the courts in my old state. Would I really be facing the issue of having to move back after all these years of no contact?

After all this time I just don't see the ex making the effort to pay money for a lawyer to file the paperwork and to make the effort that a reunification plan would require. Heck, he can't be bothered to pay the $50 for child support each month. Still, I am nervous.

I could have sworn someone else has dealt with this in the past, but I could not find the threads when I used the search.


I think I just need someone from the outside to give their opinion because naturally my family is biased and says to do the move
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Old 04-05-2013, 01:41 PM   #2
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Default Re: Moving, no contact, no custody agree

If he hasn't done anything in 6 years, it is very doubtful that he would do anything in the next 6 months.

If no custody/Visitation agreement/Order in place, there's nothing that says you can't move.

If he is on the BC, then move, get established for the 6 months and file for full/sole custody in your new state...or don't file. what are the odds that he will even know what happened to you? What are the odds that he will even care?

If you have no idea where he is, then you can actually use sservice by publication to get things going. takes longer but hey, it works.
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Old 04-05-2013, 01:59 PM   #3
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Default Re: Moving, no contact, no custody agree

I don't know the legal answers but my gut says just quietly move. Let him make the effort to stop this....which seems unlikely. I would hope his 6 yrs of no contact would be a determining factor, but courts seem intent on giving second, third and fourth chances to those who are useless.
Don't let your fear stop you from staying in an environment which is happy and healthy for both you and your son!
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Old 04-05-2013, 02:31 PM   #4
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Default Re: Moving, no contact, no custody agree

Do you have any contact with him at all?
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Old 04-05-2013, 02:56 PM   #5
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Default Re: Moving, no contact, no custody agree

Nope, none. No emails, texts, phone calls, letters, etc.

I do know where he lives thanks to google and facebook. I had to track him down once for the Child Support Enforcement Agency. They lost track of him and needed to file some contempt charges. Not that that did any good.

And he cant claim he didnt know how to contact me as my address, phone and email have been the same since before DS was born.
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Old 04-05-2013, 07:21 PM   #6
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Default Re: Moving, no contact, no custody agree

I agree with everyone, just go, don't even bother trying to tell him. If it's a good arrangement with you and your parents, why ruin a good thing? If he's been flaking on the child support and not even trying to see his own child, it's his loss. You and your parents just enjoy your son!
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Old 04-05-2013, 10:48 PM   #7
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Default Re: Moving, no contact, no custody agree

Yep I would leave him far behind and move.
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Old 04-06-2013, 02:16 AM   #8
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Default Re: Moving, no contact, no custody agree

Would the court make you move back? Not based on those facts, no. If you moved and he filed, how would he know where to find you to serve you? He wouldn't. What would he say about the fact that he abandoned his child completely.

Orders to not move away or to move back are for parents who are parenting their children. I can't see any court forcing you to stay. It would presumably be a hardship financially.
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Old 04-06-2013, 11:41 AM   #9
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Default Re: Moving, no contact, no custody agree

Thank you everyone

That last little tingle of doubt is now gone and it is full steam ahead on moving.

Yikes, now have to get the house ready for showings :/
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Old 04-07-2013, 03:52 AM   #10
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Default Re: Moving, no contact, no custody agree

So you moving to Florida?

Old Folks in the midwest tend to head down here.
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Old 04-07-2013, 06:57 PM   #11
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Default Re: Moving, no contact, no custody agree

We are actually looking around South Carolina because it would be a nice middle ground between family we have in Virginia and Florida.

As long as we are near a lake/ocean and in a good school zone I will be happy
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