Wild Dancing Thanksgivng Turkey Pulling my hair out over here. - Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices
All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!
         


Go Back   Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices >
(``'·.¸(``'·.¸ Single Parenting - Issues ¸.·'´´)¸.·'´´)
> Law & Legal Issues

Notices


~ Donate Today ~ PLEASE
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-23-2014, 01:51 PM   #1
cf829 Female
At A loss for Words - NOT!


 
cf829's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,830
Rep Power: 142
cf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angel
Question Pulling my hair out over here.

Okay, so I have a minor dilemma again, and seeking input from SFVers, since I have spoken with my attorney and he basically said it’s a judgment call unless I file to clarify with the court- $$$ (AGAIN, while I receive NO CS).

I got a copy of what was done in court- the order that came of Exie’s sentencing hearing. The issue is it is not clear on the topic of visitation really. Here is what it says in writing:

“It is ORDERED that:
Exie has failed to purge himself of contempt

Is sentenced to 60 days GPS

Is placed in Community Correctional Program to comply with all terms and conditions thereof subject to:

- Work Release

- Other: visitation with minor children per court order for weekends"

Now, I went in to the court to get a copy of this and asked the clerk at that time if that meant that he was not supposed to get visits with his kids during the week. She went back and told me she spoke with the judge and yes, Exie was forgoing weekly visits with his children.

But now, I have a dilemma. First of all, that is not clearly laid out in that order. My lawyer believes that is the case, however (that he not have weekly visits with the kids, just weekends), because the whole theory of the GPS is that he is supposed to be monitored strictly to ensure he is working to pay. Logically, that follows.

But the next issue is that he purposely took vacation to coincide with R’s new sister’s birth, as you all might recall. So he is still under this order, will be until August… but by my and my lawyer’s interpretation of this order, he should no longer be able to take this time- he is self employed, if he takes vacation time, esp with a child R’s age, unless he secures daycare, he couldn’t work or make money and have extended vacation with R... BUT, it is not clear in the order.

Honestly I do not know what to do….. I could deny the time, but that could land me in trying to explain if he made a big deal about it. I could give the time, but then I feel like I am aiding and abetting him not following the rules. I do not know what to do…. Suggestions?

(Not helping is that he spitefully took this week to keep R from his new baby sibling. It is very clearly an alienation tactic on his part. So I already feel like I have reason to be denying it for somewhat personal to me reasons- i.e, emotional reasons rather than legal ones. BUT, he does not have any actual plans with R. So… I don’t know).
cf829 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2014, 02:19 PM   #2
bluewave Female
At A loss for Words - NOT!

 
bluewave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Somewhere in the Pacific
Posts: 1,742
Rep Power: 156
bluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Support
Default Re: Pulling my hair out over here.

HI CF, if the judge said he is foregoing weekly visits, then I would go with that. Yes, it's not in the order, but you clarified with the clerk who talked to the judge.

The only other thing I could think of--if you wanted to cross your Ts and dot your Is...instead of going back to court, can your atty request a phone conference with judge to discuss and clarify? Yes, it's more money, but not as much as a freaking court appearance which is so much more expensive--but I don't know if they do phone conferences in your state.

Honestly, I'd go with your attorney's and judge's (via the clerk) interpretation. No weekly visitation, and no extended vacation during baby sister's birth.

(and i am not an attorney, but i think that is what i would do if in your shoes.)
bluewave is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2014, 02:37 PM   #3
LSL Female
The blunt one;)


 
LSL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Somewhere on the left coast
Posts: 11,334
Rep Power: 412
LSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Pulling my hair out over here.

How about making a motion (since it is your contempt that got him there) for a clarification. That is what I would do.

I would spell out in my motion why you need it. Especially that you do not want to run afoul of contempt yourself for your orders.
__________________
“If your expectations aren’t to be the best, then… you know, nobody rises to low expectations.” - Chip Kelly, coach of Oregon Football.
LSL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2014, 02:38 PM   #4
cf829 Female
At A loss for Words - NOT!


 
cf829's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,830
Rep Power: 142
cf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angel
Default Re: Pulling my hair out over here.

Well, what is not helping also is that he has R for 4th of July this year, which since that is a holiday that normally everyone is off work, I don't think I could withhold R in the spirit of I think what is meant.

But, then recovering R- I don't know. that would be hard. I will be hospital, and Exie will probably secrete himself somewhere not to have to hand over R. So I'd be sending someone else basically to try to find R- I just don't know. It's a mess.

LSL, my lawyer suggested a motion for clarification. But it will cost me much money to file and I'm not sure at this point it would be heard by July 4.
cf829 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2014, 02:44 PM   #5
LSL Female
The blunt one;)


 
LSL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Somewhere on the left coast
Posts: 11,334
Rep Power: 412
LSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Pulling my hair out over here.

It shouldn't cost you more money to file if it is a part of the original pleadings if you to it yourself. You can ask for an expedited decision. I have done that before.

Me, I would stick to the weekends only and make that motion. If you have to give make up time, then you can make it up.
__________________
“If your expectations aren’t to be the best, then… you know, nobody rises to low expectations.” - Chip Kelly, coach of Oregon Football.
LSL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2014, 02:49 PM   #6
cf829 Female
At A loss for Words - NOT!


 
cf829's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,830
Rep Power: 142
cf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angel
Default Re: Pulling my hair out over here.

I'm not sure I would or could do this myself. It might get tricky and generally I don't touch visitation or custody issues without my attorney.

In any event it will cost me at least the $85 filing fee.
cf829 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2014, 10:14 PM   #7
bluewave Female
At A loss for Words - NOT!

 
bluewave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Somewhere in the Pacific
Posts: 1,742
Rep Power: 156
bluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Support
Default Re: Pulling my hair out over here.

Was wondering--if you filed for clarification--wouldn't that give you more justification to not send R? Because then you can say you are 1) following your attorney's advice/interpretation of the order, and 2) awaiting for the court's decision to clarify..?
bluewave is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2014, 11:19 PM   #8
LSL Female
The blunt one;)


 
LSL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Somewhere on the left coast
Posts: 11,334
Rep Power: 412
LSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Pulling my hair out over here.

It's interesting to me seeing the different procedural rules. So in Oregon, if I filed contempt and the judge issued an order.... and I needed to make a motion for clarificaiton, there would be no other filing fee as it is asking to clarify the original order, which is unclear and the Court would be at fault for the order. So the 60.00 contempt motion fee would cover subsequent motions for the same order. Here we don't look at it as a motion asking for another result or different decision.

Though I know other states charge per motion filed. Just weird.
__________________
“If your expectations aren’t to be the best, then… you know, nobody rises to low expectations.” - Chip Kelly, coach of Oregon Football.
LSL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2014, 09:44 AM   #9
cf829 Female
At A loss for Words - NOT!


 
cf829's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,830
Rep Power: 142
cf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angel
Default Re: Pulling my hair out over here.

Good point BW- I see where that is headed. I spoke with my lawyer again last night and he is concerned that it gives the appearance that I am looking to keep R from Exie. Though I have never done so and on many occasions encouraged their relationship with extra time (heck, I even had R make and pick out a Father's Day gift for him).... I do pause at that.

So I am just stuck. Have to decide to file, or simply withhold, or send R anyway because I am running out of time. AGH.

LSL, our court recently changed their practice to charge for every filing, every time, and hiked their fees. Contempt or something related to it is actually the cheapest. Custody and modification are 250-400 depending on what you are doing.
cf829 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2014, 03:26 PM   #10
bluewave Female
At A loss for Words - NOT!

 
bluewave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Somewhere in the Pacific
Posts: 1,742
Rep Power: 156
bluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportbluewave Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Support
Default Re: Pulling my hair out over here.

I'm just going to say it: your ex is a piece of for pulling this ____, right when you are expecting your lovely baby girl.

YAY for baby
BOOOO for ____ ex.
(and i own that this extreme reaction is in part motivated by the latest my exie has pulled with DD1--but dammit, i'm just going to be mad for both of us for a moment. Exies SUCKKKKKKK when they think only of themselves and not putting the kids first).
bluewave is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Resources: youngrobin.com
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I am pulling my hair out!! tiredmomma 30 - Something Single Moms 7 08-19-2009 12:56 AM
UPDATE - hair pulling Gabriel's Mom Discipline 1 09-15-2005 05:10 PM
hair pulling Gabriel's Mom Discipline 61 09-13-2005 01:37 PM
aarrrg pulling my hair out here Craig L 30 - Something Single Dads 46 05-10-2005 09:34 AM
Pulling my hair out.. mommy1 20 Something Single Moms 9 03-21-2005 12:24 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:39 PM.

Some parent places to visit:
A Single Parents
Parent Arium
Solo Parents
Single Parent Personal Ads



Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SoloParent
Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SingleParentsInformation
Powered by vbulletin

All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!

A Community for single parents, step parents and blended families

Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.