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Old 01-20-2015, 11:17 PM   #1
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Default Would I lose my child?

Hi SFV family. My husband and I recently separated. Prior to the marriage I was doing very well for myself. I bought a house, I was in school PT and and I had a great FT job. Now due to the separation he has moved to his brother's home, while I remained in the home that I purchased for my son and I. I decided to enroll in school as a FT student this semester so I can hurry up and get it over with. My husband would pick up our son from daycare every evening due to night school and work hours. I normally get home around 7pm no later than 730, my husband and son would get home around 545pm/6pm. My question is if we were to go through the whole custody thing again would I still be able to get physical custody like I did before or would the judge consider my husband to be a better fit because I have so much going on in my life? I really want to know because I am really considering dropping some or all of my classes if this is the case.
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Old 01-20-2015, 11:50 PM   #2
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Default Re: Would I lose my child?

The question is always who is the primary caregiver of the child: who takes care of doctors, baths, dinners, bedtime.
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Old 01-21-2015, 12:17 AM   #3
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Default Re: Would I lose my child?

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The question is always who is the primary caregiver of the child: who takes care of doctors, baths, dinners, bedtime.
I would say I am. My reasons would be I am normally the one that schedule and make sure my son is up to date for doctor appointments. and if sick the daycare and school contacts me first and I am the one that leaves work early to attend to him.I make sure my son is fed every night and enforce bed time. Now as far as baths I would say we would alternate. But overall I feel like I am the primary care giver. But of course my husband would think things are always 50/50 just because he does one or two things throughout the week when I am at school. I just don't want this to turn into a custody battle.
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Old 01-26-2015, 11:02 AM   #4
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Default Re: Would I lose my child?

I would say no. When my ex and I went through everything I was going to school Full time working a full time job and a part time job and I still got custody and placement of my son.
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Old 01-26-2015, 11:20 AM   #5
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Default Re: Would I lose my child?

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I would say no. When my ex and I went through everything I was going to school Full time working a full time job and a part time job and I still got custody and placement of my son.
Thanks youngmomm01. I had a discussion with him this morning about visitations and I really didnt like the option he suggested. He wants to keep my son for 4 days out of the week because of school and work. There is only one day I get out of school late and the other days I am home by 7pm.

---------- Post added at 10:20 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:18 AM ----------

But I do have a question, Hopefully someone has an answer. Will our old custody and visitation agreement (including holidays and birthdays) be voided since we got married but now separated?
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Old 01-26-2015, 12:12 PM   #6
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Default Re: Would I lose my child?

Depends on state law. In Oregon (my state), if you had a custody agreement after a divorce or prior to a marriage, then you remarry, it is void.
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Old 01-26-2015, 12:37 PM   #7
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Default Re: Would I lose my child?

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Depends on state law. In Oregon (my state), if you had a custody agreement after a divorce or prior to a marriage, then you remarry, it is void.
Yeah, I know in NY and VA, if you get a separation agreement but then cohabitate after, it can make the separation agreement null and void. Same kind of idea. You changed the circumstances under which the agreement was reached.
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Old 01-26-2015, 10:53 PM   #8
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Default Re: Would I lose my child?

I wish I had more knowledge of this kind of situation. I hope it all works out...have you talked to an attorney? they will usually do the first consult for free and maybe that can help you be more at ease.
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Old 01-26-2015, 11:43 PM   #9
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Default Re: Would I lose my child?

Thanks everyone. I called my family lawyer today and he told me it should be voided due to marriage and we both resided in the same household. I am not sure if I should file for custody again. We have gone down this road before and I don't want to revisit it again. Maybe I should go talk to a lawyer in person who offers free consultation and see what they suggest.
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Old 01-27-2015, 06:36 AM   #10
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Default Re: Would I lose my child?

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Maybe I should go talk to a lawyer in person who offers free consultation and see what they suggest.
You absolutely should.
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Old 01-27-2015, 11:44 AM   #11
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Default Re: Would I lose my child?

I agree that you should. Clearly you would file for custody if you are filing for divorce.
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Old 01-31-2015, 08:30 PM   #12
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Default Re: Would I lose my child?

Thanks everyone
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