Wild Dancing Thanksgivng Turkey I have temporary full custody!! - Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices
All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!
         


Go Back   Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices >
(``'·.¸(``'·.¸ Single Parenting - Issues ¸.·'´´)¸.·'´´)
> Law & Legal Issues

Notices


~ Donate Today ~ PLEASE
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-23-2013, 01:47 AM   #1
barris Male
On the Board
 
barris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: WI
Posts: 71
Rep Power: 0
barris is an unknown quantity at this point
woot I have temporary full custody!!

Hey all, it's been awhile. I had a total computer meltdown, this is kind of a difficult site to track down.

Anyway, here's the story as I know it through CPS. BM and her live-in were DRUNK and got to fighting. The live-in pulls a knife on BM and her 14 year old daughter, holding it to their throats. Somehow, someway the 14 year old girl got this knife away from this man and stabbed him with it. Boom, he's arrested and being charged with 6 felonies.

I just found this out today. It happened the other night and THANKFULLY my daughter was with me. A hearing is to occur sometime next week to determine whether the children should be allowed to return. Right now, BM is only eligible for supervised visitation.

I'm a bit uneasy about this though. I am getting a lawyer, a good lawyer this time, the one I used for the original paternity action. She knows my case and she's regarded as being among the best in the area. The only thing is that I'll never be able to get her in to this upcoming hearing, I don't even know when it is yet and the CPS officer said it would occur Monday or Tuesday.. They say I don't need a lawyer present, that 95% of parents in my position do not have lawyers present. I'm still uneasy though, I don't want to take the slightest chance here. If my daughter had been there she could be dead right now!

Does anyone know what I might expect at this hearing?
barris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2013, 02:32 AM   #2
LSL Female
The blunt one;)


 
LSL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Somewhere on the left coast
Posts: 11,334
Rep Power: 409
LSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

Yep. Strangely enough this is how I started my legal career, representing CPS in removal and termination of parental rights trials.

What you will be having is called a shelter hearing. The court will have both parents there. Right now, you don't really have temp custody -- the state is asserting it's jurisdiction here. You really don't need an attorney for this hearing. The state will have checked you out prior to this hearing and CPS will likely recommend the child stay with you pending a safety plan and some other counseling/parenting classes. The state should actually appoint mom, you and child an attorney there. There is no reason to spend your money on that --- rather use your private attorney for what I suggest below and have that attorney work with you.

What you NEED to do is move to modify the actual custody order. CPS is a stop gap. But cannot modify your custody agreement. This gives you a significant change of circumstance to modify the agreement you just signed and finalized in August.

I have a case right now where dad is fighting for custody of his child and child is/has been removed due to mom and abusive husband. I have been working with dad's state appoint attorney for the CPS action.
__________________
“If your expectations aren’t to be the best, then… you know, nobody rises to low expectations.” - Chip Kelly, coach of Oregon Football.
LSL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2013, 03:00 AM   #3
barris Male
On the Board
 
barris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: WI
Posts: 71
Rep Power: 0
barris is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

So what on earth am I doing there? Am I just a spectator at this point watching dictation?

I talked briefly with the CPS officer, she was supposed to call me back to inform me of the hearing day and set a time to sit down, but didn't. She's been a bit sloppy. She told me she had stopped by my daughters school to talk to my daughter, but she was at lunch. Then I get a call about BM calling my dad to ask him to drop my daughter at her place after school. He says no way. So I call the school just to double check that, and confirm they know she is not to pick her up. They had no idea what I was talking about. Then at the end of a short and confused conversation with the school principle CPS finally contacts the school and tells them she'll fax over whatever paperwork they do.

Adjustment of the order is exactly what I will do. I can only imagine what my daughter has seen over there, this guy has been an inhabitant for several months now. You don't just go from zero to knife-wielding maniac. One truly disturbing thing is that there has been no indication of turmoil in my daughter's demeanor. Like she's just used to it and is able to carry it like the norm.
barris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2013, 07:11 AM   #4
cf829 Female
At A loss for Words - NOT!


 
cf829's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,830
Rep Power: 139
cf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angel
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

Firstly let me extend my sympathy empathy and relief to you. This is exactly what i feared for your daughter a few weeks ago when you posted.This is a parent's worst nightmare and though she is safe now, it must be so painful for you to contemplate. I hurt for you and this is something I iften worry about occurring to my son someday when his sperm donor dredges up someone and gets to hitting and abusing her like me.... knives were involved and leopards don't change their spots. I cannot imagine what you are going through and I am happy that CPS stepped in and is at least trying to do their job correctly. I know they can be overworked.

Do as LSL says. She was never wrong about my custody case and I won huge because my ex like yours judt can't help but fuel the fire damning himself. You have a solid case adding this to all you mentioned previously. I am so glad you have the lawyer the ammo and the high ground to keep your angel safe with you.

I don't have much else to say. Hugs to you. This has got to be so hard.
cf829 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2013, 01:56 PM   #5
LSL Female
The blunt one;)


 
LSL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Somewhere on the left coast
Posts: 11,334
Rep Power: 409
LSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

You have to be in court as you are a major party to what is happening. I have seen the judge during these hearings, basically instruct the parent that did not do anything, to go file for custody. I am guessing that might happen for you.
__________________
“If your expectations aren’t to be the best, then… you know, nobody rises to low expectations.” - Chip Kelly, coach of Oregon Football.
LSL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2013, 01:42 PM   #6
barris Male
On the Board
 
barris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: WI
Posts: 71
Rep Power: 0
barris is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

That's basically what happened LSL. First thing I did after I watched my daughter get on the school bus was to call my lawyer. All went smoothly, the state's attorney and the CPS rep were extremely nice and helpful.

Barring any unforeseen circumstances this should be a slam dunk. BM is a train wreck. I'm usually concerned I'm posting too much personal info, but oh well. BM is computer illiterate and so is her family. Everyone else she lies to and the actual details wouldn't come close to whatever she tells her friends.

So, BM was drunk and had been stealing her child's Adderall to get lit. How low can you get? I feel so bad for that kid. Her father is an equal mess. She's a teenager now and never really had a childhood. Now she's been removed from the home after she somehow wrangled a butcher knife away from this madman and stabbed him in the chest with it. He's hospitalized.

Thanks for the kind words CF, I feel more relieved and relaxed than I have in maybe 5 years.

Gotta run, get back at you all later.
barris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2013, 02:08 PM   #7
Dad1st4boys Male
Failure is not an Option.

 
Dad1st4boys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Western Plains area
Posts: 7,567
Rep Power: 300
Dad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Support
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

Hang in there. Keep on keeping on.
__________________
If not me, Then who? Speznaz

The Only Easy Day was Yesterday. NavSpecWar

If it is Important to us we make it happen.......
If it's not, then we make excuses...
Dad1st4boys is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2013, 05:32 PM   #8
zomom Female
Sweet & Sassy

 
zomom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,013
Rep Power: 115
zomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angel
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

Such a sad situation, feel for all the kids involved.
I remember my first night's sleep after I got full custody and knew my dd was safe.
Keep up the good fight, your girl is lucky to have you fighting for her.
__________________
Sometimes you just have to die a little inside to be reborn and rise again as a wiser and stronger version of you!
zomom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-27-2013, 12:19 AM   #9
LSL Female
The blunt one;)


 
LSL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Somewhere on the left coast
Posts: 11,334
Rep Power: 409
LSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

Yeah, I would have been surprised if anything else happened. There is no reason for the state to take custody when you are fit and ready to be the full custodial parent. Heartbreaking for sure the choices BM is making.
__________________
“If your expectations aren’t to be the best, then… you know, nobody rises to low expectations.” - Chip Kelly, coach of Oregon Football.
LSL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-27-2013, 01:00 AM   #10
barris Male
On the Board
 
barris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: WI
Posts: 71
Rep Power: 0
barris is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

She needs help, desperately. The Seinfeld quote comes to mind; George, what is wrong with you? You need a team of doctors to surround you all the time, like the elephant man. This time her little skirmish came to light because her boyfriend had a stab wound to the chest.

I don't know what she's going to do. She's getting evicted from her Section 8 unit, she doesn't have a job, doesn't have a car, lost all child support and social security income (or most). Clearly, she's going to have to move back in with her parents, which she's not allowed to do since they took custody of her oldest child. That won't stop them though.
barris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-27-2013, 01:49 PM   #11
meganut13 Female
Active Board Parent
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 267
Rep Power: 83
meganut13 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportmeganut13 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportmeganut13 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportmeganut13 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportmeganut13 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportmeganut13 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportmeganut13 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportmeganut13 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportmeganut13 Is Rocken These Boards With Support
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

This is so horrible for the 14 yo. I hope she somehow gets the support, counseling, and love she needs.

I am so glad you have your girl safe. It wasn't clear to me - was she actually there when this was going on?

I would be about as hard core about this as possible. I'm sure that attorney will really help. I would hope for sup. visits that do not stop. However, before even sup. visit option comes up...I would want mom clean and sober, and perhaps visits in a therapists office.
meganut13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-27-2013, 02:19 PM   #12
barris Male
On the Board
 
barris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: WI
Posts: 71
Rep Power: 0
barris is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

No, my child was with me THANKFULLY! If this had happened the previous night, my daughter would have been there and I could be planning or attending a funeral right now.

I'm a big proponent of therapy. In my humble opinion, anyone who gets within 10 ft. of BM could benefit from a bit of talk therapy. BM needs it especially, I have a sworn statement she made in court that she has been diagnosed as bi-polar and is likely not receiving any treatment.
barris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 06:16 AM   #13
Shawn76 Male
Board Blazen Parent
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: IN
Posts: 470
Rep Power: 93
Shawn76 is a splendid one to beholdShawn76 is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

WOW sounds like a huge mess but you have a great case against your ex. Fathers are getting custody more now then they ever did in the past. I have my 2 kids and BM is out of the picture,no phone calls or visits. Hope everything works to your advantage and stay strong for your daughter no matter how hard and nerve wrecking it can be.I went through a lot to get mine and I don't regret it one bit. My kids are happy and doing so much better at school then before.Neither of them have missed a day this year and they are always eager to learn. Anyways,it will be worth it in the end and your daughter will thank you many times in the years to come for standing up and being there for her when she was really needing a sane parent.
Shawn76 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 12:34 PM   #14
barris Male
On the Board
 
barris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: WI
Posts: 71
Rep Power: 0
barris is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

Totally. I was elated for about a week but then fatigue started setting in and BM has been obnoxious..calling like crazy. I haven't been able to get to the gym, I've got midterms going on, and meetings everyday involving this saga. Groan.

I just got the police report of the incident the other day and it's HORRIFIC.

I've been seeking to take over full-time all along, it was really tough doing 95% of the parenting with only 50% of the placement. Doctor and dentist appointments, therapy appointments, getting my daughter together with friends from school, etc.

I have an appointment today with CPS as they're wrapping up their investigation. I know the evidence of neglect is sensational and substantial, but I'm nervous. I hate the uncertainty.

I'm curious about your story, Shawn. Care to post a brief description or a thread link where you discussed it?
barris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2013, 07:40 AM   #15
Shawn76 Male
Board Blazen Parent
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: IN
Posts: 470
Rep Power: 93
Shawn76 is a splendid one to beholdShawn76 is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

Where to start LOL it went on for 2 1/2-3 years then stopped then when I moved to where she could find me easy it started up again and then stopped when me and my wife started living together and moved into a quiet neighborhood that are away from the main roads.
Mine all started back in April 08.She called me and said she cheated on me and wasn't coming back home. I didn't care about that part,my instincts told me to get the kids away from her asap and as soon as she made that call,the very next day I filed for custody.I didn't wait around and hope to put things back together,I didn't want that,I wanted my kids and away from her.
So in 2008,she held my son against me and would rarely let me see him.She would only allow a few phone calls a week.That went on for a few months and then finally I got her to agree to let me take him a few hours a few times and then finally on an overnight visit in June that I will explain later in this post.
My daughter was with me pretty much the whole time. She tried to use the kids as pawns and would take my daughter form me when I didn't do what she wanted. That happened 5-6 times and the last time it happened,she took my daughter and then decided she couldn't handle her.Of course I had a roll in that.I told my daughter to give them ____ so she would send you back with me.It worked every time except the last time.When she brought the police to the school,she took her from me and I told her that if she acts out,don't bother calling me because I am not going to play the games with my kids and screw their heads up anymore then they already were. Well that didn't last long.She was begging me to come get her and I kept telling her no and even had a cop who was helping me tell her that legally I can't take her since we were never married and I have no rights until we went to court. I gave her 1 option.She had to stop the BS with my daughter and either let her stay with me until court or keep her where she was until court and I made it clear why I was doing it.She agreed to not do it again and didn't.She could not handle my daughter.I taught her well.I never have had problems with her while I have had custody. She's so much more mature then teens her age and she has even came home from school complaining about how immature some of her friends were.She does well in school and has her career planned.She wants to go to college to get her RN and then go into the Air Force for her career choice and retire from there. She has been saying this for the last 3-4 years and is also in the JRAFROTC at school along with big brother big sister,amnesty club and link crew.On weekends she wanted to volunteer at the local humane shelter,so a few weeks ago she started that. Busy kid and makes good grades.She is focused on what she needs to do to help her get the career she wants. Very devoted to everything she is doing. Sorry got side tracked about my daughter.Can't help it,I am very proud of her.She said a few years ago that if she was with her mom,she wouldn't be able to do what she wants as far as after school activities and weekend things.
So the drama went on for months until June 2008. I had my first overnight visit with my kids together.My son was so darn happy.He didn't want to leave and go back to her.He wanted his dad and sister. So I had to come up with the best plan I could think of and that would work.I had 1 shot at this. I knew there was a no contact order in place between my daughter and her moms husband. (I will not use step dad,they don't claim him and if she seen I said that,it would upset her) It was for battery he committed on her in May 2008. So knowing this I called her and told her that my daughter wanted to visit for a few hours alone with her and that she wanted to come over in the morning when I dropped my son off. I told her she needs to have him out of the house so she could visit.She agreed to it,but didn't follow through with it. I knew something would happen and I'd get a call within 15 minutes to come pick her up. I couldn't of called it better. I went to my parents house and sure enough I get a call to come and get both kids until court.I can only say I was floored. I call the police and have them meet me and then follow me over to pick them up. The cop asked her if I could take the kids until court and she didn't argue about it,she wanted them gone. So I got them both 1 1/2 months before court.At the time,I only had a 1 bedroom apartment and I told the cop that and he said it doesn't matter,you got enough room for beds and can feed them,then you will do just fine.He asked me if I really wanted to leave them there with the BS that was going on. My only problem was my apartment was small but I took them and we made it work until we got in public housing and got into a bigger 3 bedroom apartment.
She came over a few times and made threats to come and pick up my son,but I reminded her that I had a police report to show she didn't want them and that if she came and got 1 kid,she was taking both kids. It stopped her from doing anything.
Finally we go to court.The Judge we went in front of was not one to make mad.She'd run you into the ground and not hold back what was on her mind.She was a very moody woman and hated men.What saved me was the cop who I had in court with me told her my ex was crazy and the kids were better off with me. I am forever in debt to him for his part of helping me. The Judge really went off on my ex.She was getting frustrated because my ex was not able to figure out what she was doing.She had no Lawyer and I didn't have one,but I done just fine.She fell on her face.At times it was hard to keep a straight face because the Judge was just making her nervous as ____ and she couldn't defend herself. I was awarded custody and her supervised visits.
The supervised visits didn't work out.Within 6 months I had to file and have them taken away. It was Thanksgiving 2008 that her husband attacked me with the kid sin the car. They wanted to see their mom and we were close to her so I drove over and let them visit.She wasn't home and so the kids got back in the car and we left.My daughter mentioned she wanted to see the neighbor so we went there and he came out about 5 minutes later with a baseball bat and tried to attack me. he damaged my car. He went to jail for it and he sealed the deal for me to stop visits. I didn't file until Jan 09 and we had court April 09 and her rights we terminated and as the Judge said,how does it feel now that you have no visits and have to pay child support? The Judge was sick of her and the BS she was putting the kids through.Again,I was well prepared and had the kids' therapist testify for them on what her actions were doing to the kids.
There was a few times I did try to let her see and talk to the kids but it always ended the same way so I stopped trying and the kids gave up on her.They haven't asked to see or talk to her in several months. I know my kids are happy and that is the only thing I worry about.They need to be happy and live their lives like kids and teens do. I truly believe I made all the right choices,even though I had to play dirty a few times,and get the kids away from that mess my ex was creating.The Drama and BS took months to stop,but it did and I don't have to deal with her anymore.Last time I seen them was when they attacked a friend of mine but that was about 4 months or so ago and haven't seen or heard from them since.
Sorry,there really is no short version to my long story.I picked some of the better examples of what we went through out and used them. I will say karma bit her really hard where the moon doesn't shine.
One more thing that was funny.I took her to court for an RO and the first thing out of her mouth was asking the Judge if she could sign her rights away so she could stop paying support. We have a new Judge there now,the old one resigned. He shook his head in disbelief and had to explain to her the only way that she could get out of paying CS and there is no way I will do it.She needs to keep paying support since that is her last and final rights to the kids.

---------- Post added at 06:40 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:36 AM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by barris View Post
Totally. I was elated for about a week but then fatigue started setting in and BM has been obnoxious..calling like crazy. I haven't been able to get to the gym, I've got midterms going on, and meetings everyday involving this saga. Groan.

I just got the police report of the incident the other day and it's HORRIFIC.

I've been seeking to take over full-time all along, it was really tough doing 95% of the parenting with only 50% of the placement. Doctor and dentist appointments, therapy appointments, getting my daughter together with friends from school, etc.

I have an appointment today with CPS as they're wrapping up their investigation. I know the evidence of neglect is sensational and substantial, but I'm nervous. I hate the uncertainty.

I'm curious about your story, Shawn. Care to post a brief description or a thread link where you discussed it?
You better start planning now.You will find there isn't enough time in a day to take care of kids as a single parent. I also had to deal with CPS.We were on a first name basis and had home visits at least once a week.It got to the point we just made appointments.I had nothing to hide from CPS so I didn't mind it at all.It just helped me in the long run to prove how bad of a parent she really was/is. I couldn't imagine life without my kids around me everyday. I am already getting the anxiety of my daughter getting older and moving out.She is very independent and I know she will do just fine.But it's hard to let go after that many years and going through what we did and making it all work out in the end.
Shawn76 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2013, 11:49 AM   #16
momofTDR Female
Marja

 
momofTDR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Pocatello, Idaho
Posts: 1,392
Rep Power: 142
momofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With Support
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

WOW, you've got a lot on your plate right now, but I'd imagine that this will be a fairly straight forward thing. Hopefully your daughter is placed with you full time soon.
__________________
Well, it seems once again you're caught between a rock and a crazy place. ~Leonard, BBT~
momofTDR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2013, 04:51 PM   #17
barris Male
On the Board
 
barris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: WI
Posts: 71
Rep Power: 0
barris is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

There hearings have begun and she was just served with my family court petition while in court the other day.

I'm peeved with CPS at the moment though. They are mandating 4 supervised 2 hour visits per week through a contracted agency. I feel like this is way too much for a 7 year old. Not only does it tightly structure her schedule from morning until bedtime practically throughout the week but it digs way into my time. Four days a week is even more than she saw her under the old order.

I shared these concerns minus the last sentence with our case worker and she disagreed, she thought 4 days was just dandy.

I really hope my family court petition makes some of these mandates go away, but I still want my daughters BM to get the help she needs.
barris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-15-2013, 12:35 PM   #18
LSL Female
The blunt one;)


 
LSL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Somewhere on the left coast
Posts: 11,334
Rep Power: 409
LSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

They should consolidate those cases and yes, it should take some of the power away from CPS.
__________________
“If your expectations aren’t to be the best, then… you know, nobody rises to low expectations.” - Chip Kelly, coach of Oregon Football.
LSL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-16-2013, 04:31 AM   #19
barris Male
On the Board
 
barris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: WI
Posts: 71
Rep Power: 0
barris is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

That is fantastic to hear! This could very well be the first case this caseworker has handled. I'm not sure what protocol is but zero input was sought from me regarding what the plan should be moving forward. This was cooked up between this caseworker and BM then dictated to me.

I touched base with my daughters teacher today to see how she was doing in class. Three weeks out of BM's house and she is beginning to talk in class. She also remarked that the teacher's aid mentioned something to this effect.

The woman working intake mentioned to me that she thought my daughter 14 year old sister was doing most of the parenting. That BM would be either drinking, hanging out with her boyfriend, sleeping, or watching tv; I had been doing the vast majority of academic work with my daughter and she's doing an incredible job. Now they want to flip this entirely, take me essentially out of the academic picture, as she'll be too tired to want to focus on studies after 7:00pm.

This is a fast-track program for a parent that has been through CHIPS before and now has lost all 3 children. Facilitated by amateur hour on the state side. I have to believe this caseworker is being played.

I have a bunch of hearings cropping up in April.
barris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-16-2013, 10:11 PM   #20
zomom Female
Sweet & Sassy

 
zomom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,013
Rep Power: 115
zomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angelzomom Has Heart and Soul of an Angel
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

Good Luck Barris!
__________________
Sometimes you just have to die a little inside to be reborn and rise again as a wiser and stronger version of you!
zomom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-25-2013, 03:59 AM   #21
Shawn76 Male
Board Blazen Parent
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: IN
Posts: 470
Rep Power: 93
Shawn76 is a splendid one to beholdShawn76 is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

Good luck and I really hope it goes in your favor.
Shawn76 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-25-2013, 08:08 AM   #22
My Son's Mama Female
Board Blazen Parent
 
My Son's Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 397
Rep Power: 83
My Son's Mama has a reputation beyond reputeMy Son's Mama has a reputation beyond reputeMy Son's Mama has a reputation beyond reputeMy Son's Mama has a reputation beyond reputeMy Son's Mama has a reputation beyond reputeMy Son's Mama has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

My thoughts will be with you. Hopefully all goes well and you'll be able to start moving on with life.... minus her and all the scary drama.
My Son's Mama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-30-2013, 10:23 PM   #23
barris Male
On the Board
 
barris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: WI
Posts: 71
Rep Power: 0
barris is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

Hey all, it's been awhile. Things have been crazy.

I finally finished with my avalanche of court hearings. I must have appeared in court 7 or 8 times in the span of a few months. Anyway I was able to get the family court order amended to award me full custody and placement of my daughter for at least a year. The GAL I had was amazing, and was utterly disgusted by my daughter's BM. She suggested that maybe a few years down the line, it would be appropriate to scheduled dinner visits one time a week in a public place where I am able to supervise from another table.

That said, things have still been a bit tense. BM basically doesn't care about the court order. She showed up at the house a few times unannounced, one time calling while I was doing the dishes and I was unaware, she coaxed my daughter outside, I happened to be checking for dishes and saw my daughter going outside with the phone.

Tonight BM pitched a fit because I didn't contact the new number she apparently has, news to me. We have phone calls scheduled a few times a week, I had my daughter call a bit early because she was going to a movie and wouldn't be able to talk. Well BM calls then sends a bunch of angry texts. I tell her the child is at a movie and she say's "great, she can't talk to me, I'm headed to the theater to see her" I paraphrase, her spelling isn't that good.

I'm going to be in contact with her social worker tomorrow but I am starting to think about a harassment restraining order. Showing up at the theater was an idle threat, but still, it would be in violation of the court order. I feel like I and my child need more protection from this insanity.

Is that a realistic next step?
barris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-01-2013, 09:58 AM   #24
cf829 Female
At A loss for Words - NOT!


 
cf829's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,830
Rep Power: 139
cf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angelcf829 Has Heart and Soul of an Angel
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

I don't know. How much of a danger do you really consider Mom to be?

I looked back on this thread and I didn't see anything about Mom hurting daughter (physically that is, she sounds pretty neglectful in some ways). I saw Mom and her BF getting in a fight. If BF is not involved, why is it such a huge deal? I guess I don't understand why this is harassment.....

If the order says no contact though, and that's what's giving you custody, then no contact, by all means. And maybe I am missing something here.

If I were in her shoes, I 'd be desperate to see my child. I would be in such horrible grief, going from having her with me most of the time, to not seeing her at all and only getting contact by phone. Of course, I am not a mom like BM.... but still. I think it's cruel to completely cut off even a glimpse of her own child. JMO.

And if this legally counts as harassment, I'll be filing on my ex tonight, . I can't tell you how often he says he is going to show up at my son's daycare, etc. to "prove" he's there or "take the time that's rightfully his". I just blow it off generally after documenting.
cf829 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-01-2013, 01:36 PM   #25
barris Male
On the Board
 
barris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: WI
Posts: 71
Rep Power: 0
barris is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: I have temporary full custody!!

Very true. I'm definitely overreacting and need to solve the problem through non-legal channels. Though I wouldn't be seeking to cut her off entirely, I more want extra protection in case she does show up at the house and try to take off with my daughter, or hunt her down at a movie theater because she can't speak with her immediately. My lawyer was pretty miffed at BM's disregard for the court order, but didn't offer many helpful suggestions as to what to do about it.
barris is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Resources: youngrobin.com
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Go for full custody missymae24 20 Something Single Moms 6 04-24-2011 07:34 PM
Temporary Custody JRRF Custody - Visitation 4 06-27-2009 11:34 PM
who will get full custody?? raya Custody - Visitation 4 11-05-2008 12:45 PM
now I am getting worried!! I will get full custody right? Help!! K&J Law & Legal Issues 6 12-09-2007 02:03 PM
affidavit of full custody jeff72 Law & Legal Issues 4 07-18-2005 08:32 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:44 PM.

Some parent places to visit:
A Single Parents
Parent Arium
Solo Parents
Single Parent Personal Ads



Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SoloParent
Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SingleParentsInformation
Powered by vbulletin

All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!

A Community for single parents, step parents and blended families

Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.