|04-07-2017, 02:53 PM||#1|
I am New
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 3Rep Power: 0
Seeking full custody
This is going to be long, but I will try my best to make it short & to the point.
I also posted a slight background of our relationship on another section (law and legal issue) so this might b repetitive.
My bf & I r currently fighting - when he gets upset, he runs back to his home (2 hrs away from me, we never officially moved in), cuts communication from me and our daughter (1 y.o.). He did this last yr when our baby was abt 3.5-4 m.o. I usually ignore it and let him cool down even though I find this manner childish when there's a child involved. Now, I'm just fed up.
He originally lived closer but had to move, chose to move far away from his new family (we would have moved in if he was closer) and his job. I couldn't move Bc I have a job (now PT) and moving there wouldn't make sense. The next best option was to have him stay over a few days out of the week. He stayed over watched the baby and I go to work (I only work 20 hrs). I don't always work, unless they need me. Otherwise I am the main caretaker.
Our relationship can be toxic but otherwise we can be good. He has verbally abused me (calling me pathetic, a sh--head, f----in b---h, and makes me feel like I'm worthless, blames me or anyone for his faults). He almost assaulted me (he has in the past assaulted 2 ppl he was close to, they never pressed charges and this came out of his mouth) coming at me like he wanted to fight me. I regret I never called the cops, didn't even think abt it. He tries to control me, he has shown this through money and how I think/act. Told me (thru txt) I need to quit being a "man" and know my role. Verbally told me I need to "bow down" to him. It's obvious now he wants me to be a submissive 1950s house wife. He doesn't apologize for any mistakes and I have in past Bc I can always admit if I am wrong. He's said he wants her (he works 6-7 days a week) and will have his mother raise her (she lives 1.5 hrs away from him) since I'm financially struggling due to the lack of work. Ok buddy! Yup, another threat. When we argue he tends to deflect from the real reason and put a blame on me with something.
I speak my mind and I will defend myself. How I speak can sound aggressive but I'm a NYer, that goes hand in hand , no? I have stated numerous times I don't mean to sound this way. Overall I am trying my best to tone down my emotions for the sake of my health and our baby. I don't curse him out and I always tell him when we argue let's take it in another room without her around us. Thankfully he goes but reluctantly.
So my question is, how can I get sole custody of our child. I can't have this "man" God forbid let his anger get the best of him and assault her. And bad enough it's been 6 days that he has made no effort in wanting to see her. This "man" does not deserve shared custody. We can't even see eye to eye if anything important arises otherwise his stubbornness kicks in.
I'm just mentally tired of his nonsense. I want to cry out of frustration. I wish we could make this work - and I'm willing to if we seek therapy but Mr Macho prb wouldn't agree to it. And I will b seeking a family lawyer.
Sorry just don't know where to turn
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