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Old 06-03-2014, 09:52 PM   #1
mhart78 Female
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Default "get a day job"

I am furious and i need advice. My son has his current school for 5 years. His teachers told me early on that they believed he had a learning disability and asked me to get him on medication for add. I fought this for a couple of years and when nothing else seemed to be helping I finally got him diagnosed with ADD and put on a low dosage of medication. A plan was made and put in his school file and the teachers are supposed to modify his requirements to accommodate the way he learns.... two years go by with a teacher that I sincerely do not believe ever wanted to deal with my son.

I should explain him a bit. My son is extremely intelligent. He has a very high IQ and loves to learn. He is a passionate hands on learner and remembers what he is taught in great depth and detail. If you test him verbally he passes with flying colors.He is an artist. He loves to draw and create. When he sits down to take a test or do an assignment it is extremely hard for him. He will draw or play with his pencil. He has become a master of origami in the many many hour he has sat at the table to do his homework.

In the 7th grade he got a teacher that clearly did not want to deal with him and for tw years I have gone to meetings and so many meetings, volunteered in his classroom and done everything I could to help him get thru. This year was his 8th grade year. In in teacher conference mid year I was told he may not graduate. The teachers, counciler, and principal all sat down and made a plan. They were going to collect my sons work and count it for him at the end of each period... finished or not. Some credit was better than none....

This never happened. In fact I would see papers my son turned in that were not finished that this teacher would make incomplete and not give him credit for. The whole years she made mean comments about him. Her latest was last week when they were discussing their grad trip and the teacher announced in front of the class that she was not happy that my son was allowed to go because he did not deserve it.

My kid came home yesterday totally crushed. His principal told him that even though he would continue on to high school he would not be allowed to walk across the stage and graduate with his friends. I arranged a meeting with the principal this morning. He told me that I need to get a day job. I work nights. I manage a bar. My mother lives in a seperate dwelling on my property to help with the kids.

I work so hard so that they can have a nice home, food, clothes, and everything they need. I do not have a spouse to help me but I do my best. My job pays well and i work the hours that my children are sleeping. My mother is always here. I feel so disrespected. I feel blamed for my son not graduating. My son is just as smart if not way smarter than all of the kids that are being allowed to walk. He has never been a bully or a trouble maker. He has always done his best.

Any advice?
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Old 06-04-2014, 01:03 AM   #2
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Default Re: "get a day job"

holy ____, I am so very sorry this is happening to you and your son. that is just crazy. is there anyone else you can turn to? is there a school board that you can write to? I would be beyond upset.

my kids are very young, so I don't know what it's like to navigate the upper educational system. hopefully someone will be along to offer better advice than me. don't give up! you are the only person who can advocate for your son. again, my heart hurts for you and I wish I had better advice to give.
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Old 06-04-2014, 01:45 AM   #3
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Default Re: "get a day job"

thank you! I feel attacked and disrespected as a mother. I feel my son was not given an opportunity and feel like not allowing him to walk only serves the purpose of humiliating a 14 year old who struggles anyways. My heart is really broken for him and I just want to DO SOMETHING! If not for my own kid but for any future kid in my sons situaccion that gets this teacher.

My son has an IEP plan on file and i know he has rights. I want to fight!
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Old 06-04-2014, 01:54 AM   #4
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Default Re: "get a day job"

He does have rights. You need to start googling to find either a lawyer or advocate that has experience in dealing with these issues.
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Old 06-04-2014, 02:05 AM   #5
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Default Re: "get a day job"

i am trying. I am doing everything I can think of.... one thing of many I am trying is reaching out here....
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Old 06-04-2014, 09:24 AM   #6
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Default Re: "get a day job"

Quote:
Originally Posted by mhart78 View Post
i am trying. I am doing everything I can think of.... one thing of many I am trying is reaching out here....
Try here:
http://www.usccr.gov/pubs/crd/stateloc/ca.htm
Or here:
http://sf-hrc.org/

They helped me (in my state) with a similar battle when my oldest was very young.
I don't understand, how at 14, they can determine or decide he will not graduate.

I would take LSL's advice, as hard as I know it is financially. Telling you how to raise your kids, and what you, as an individual parent need to do, is unacceptable.

But do try the commission on human rights first. It does not cost you anything. They sent my sons school a letter and gave the Principal a call and I never had another issue. *Make sure to get names of who you speak with through any of this!! Whether it be the school board, HRC, or anywhere. Begin documenting meetings, take notes, journal (keep emotion out of it-just the facts)

Good luck! Keep us informed! Sorry for the additional stress this all add's
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Old 06-04-2014, 10:28 AM   #7
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Default Re: "get a day job"

IEP law is very, very complicated. I have a nephew on an IEP. I am also an attorney. While I was in law school I took one education class and briefly studied the law.

Here, we can give you emotional support and maybe a few tips.

What you need though is an expert in the area that can make the school sit up and listen.
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Old 06-04-2014, 11:16 AM   #8
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Default Re: "get a day job"

I had a similar battle....I became a real pita to the school board as well as investigating alternatives to the school my son was in.

It should be possible, with an IEP, to have it include that he can be given tests verbally...but he will still fail, even if he gets 100% on all his tests, if he doesn't complete his other assignments.

I have to agree with the others, you are going to have to at least present the threat of legal proceedings in this matter in a very convincing way.
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Old 06-04-2014, 01:39 PM   #9
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Default Re: "get a day job"

thank you. I will try this.
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Old 06-04-2014, 02:10 PM   #10
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Default Re: "get a day job"

Good luck, mhart! I think it's horrendous how the school and the teacher are treating you and your son. Don't give up and please keep us updated! <3
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