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Old 10-08-2003, 08:21 PM   #1
ArmyMom2B
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I'm 15 weeks pregnant. The father and I split up obviously or I wouldn't be on this site. Well, my father is taking my ex's side!!! It just makes me crazy. When he found out I was pregnant he was more concerned about my ex then he was me. Does he not realize that I'm the one who has to give up my life? I'm the one who has to carry the baby, and be the full time parent forever. I don't believe that abortion is a form of birth control and my father is trying to convince me that I should have an abortion because this is going to change Dave's (my ex) life. Is he for real? It's not like I told Dave not to use a condom. And I sure didn't tell him to, well you know... lets not get to graphic. Can my father really be so heartless that he doesn't care about me at all? After he lectured me for two hours on how I shouldn't get married or have kids until I'm 30 he told me how he wished my mother would have had an abortion because he was to young (20) to have a kid. It's not like he was a father to me anyway. It makes me think, my father was a little younger then Dave and I and also in the Army when my mom got pregnant. Is my dad trying to relive his past threw us? What kind of sick person would be so unsupportive of there child but support there ex fully? He's a freaking mental case! What should I do about this? What should I say to him?
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Old 10-09-2003, 11:34 AM   #2
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If you father felt that way when your mother got pregnant with you then that's why he's taking Dave's side. Reguardless of what your father or any one else says, that's your baby; and you decide if the time is right. I had a lot of negativity from my family when I got pregnant at 15,17,19 and now that I'm 20! Being 20 yrs. old with 4 kids seems hectic and it is but this is MY life. Like you said I don't believe in abortion either and if I felt that I was responsible enough to have unprotected sex than I'm responsible enough to handle my responsibilities and raise my children!
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Old 10-09-2003, 01:34 PM   #3
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Screw your dad... Sorry to be so harsh but come now, abortion and taking the guys side, what tree branch did he fall off of!!! I mean are we not suppose to support our children?? Are you not grown?? If you ar ein the army I am sure you are over the age of 18 right... YOu are doing the right thing stick to it and leave your dad alone. He is just going to make things hard on you.... How in the world can a father tell his child.. " I wish your mother would have gotton a abortion" Honey I am sorry but your dad lost all respect here....... Keep your baby show your dad how it is to be a real parent!!!! Goodness it is his GRANDCHILD!!!
Sorry he upset me I can only imagine your disposition right now.. Hey a nother thing Thanks for being in the army, if it were not folks like you then the world would not be as safe as it is today, so thank you for all that you do!!!!
Amanda
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Old 10-09-2003, 03:13 PM   #4
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Destinys mom,

Thank you so much for all of your encouragement. You usually reply to every post I make and that's very helpful. Encouragement is one thing I could really use right now. You really don't have to thank me for being in the Army. It's my job, my duty! I do it because I enjoy my work. I'm proud to wear my uniform. It makes me feel good about myself. It makes me feel accomplished. Like I've really done something meaningful with my life. Kind of like I could help in changing the world. It may sound kind of silly but I enjoy it. As for my father, he's a special bread of man. He's 41 going on 13. What's really sad is he always comes to me, his 20 year old daughter for advise. I think he has some deep seeded issues that I really know nothing about. I've only talked to him twice since July. I just don't need his stress right now! I actually changed my phone number so if he got a hair up his ____ and thought of a new reason to yell at me he couldn't....
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Old 10-09-2003, 04:55 PM   #5
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No probelm, on the support, that is what this forum is for and I want to be a valuable member. I am glad that you are proud to wear the uniform! I truly respect you for it. I though about it a lot but always chose a diffrent rode, and know that I am a mother I could not leave my daughter for the boot camp and risk being sent away on a mission or something. My boyfriend now was in the army, I just have a lot of respect for you folks. I do not know if it was the 9/11 thing or what but I do and always will. Folks here think that I am strange because at work or at home I go out of my way to personal thank a solder, I mean you never know when he or she may take abullet for this country and me, me as in the folks that live in this free land America!! God bless you for all that you do.. Stay Proud YOu should be PRoud!!!
God bless
Amanda
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Old 10-09-2003, 05:47 PM   #6
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I think that if I had my baby before I joined the Army things would have been a little different. If I had gone in at all I would probably just have gone reserves. Having kid's changes everything about your life. Now that I'm having a baby I'm only going to do five years and go home. I'm going to stay state side. That's kind of a bummer because I wanted to go to Europe for a couple years.

People like you really make soldiers feel great. When somebody comes up to you out of nowhere and thanks you it really makes them feel good, and reminds them what your doing this for when they've had a bad day. So keep up the good work! You really make peoples day!
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Old 10-09-2003, 05:54 PM   #7
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I thought about doing the national gaurd or something but I am not sure I mean with all that is going on, I am not sure if I have it in me to take that kind of risk, I mean to me I am all she has, I know that she has grandma and grandpas and stuff but I want to be there with her alwas. I used to live in Arizona, how do youlike it? I loved in Tuson! How will you take care of your baby while in the army? Do they have daycare? Or do you find one off base? Or do you live on base? I do not mean to sound neive but I have no clue how this works! Good luck to you though how far along are you?? And what is the baby going to be a Boy or girl? and do you have named picked out yet??
amanda
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Old 10-09-2003, 06:17 PM   #8
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Arizona is okay... My Post is about an hour S/E of Tucson. It's in a little town called Sierra Vista. There really isn't a whole lot of things to do here. But it is a good place to live if you like to travel because there are a lot of things to see around here.

Okay... the daycare thing. The Army does have daycare on post. It's not that expensive you pay them off of what you make. The daycare is open from 5:30AM to 5:30PM... That's the usual military working day. PT (Physical Training) from 6:00AM to 7:00AM Report to work 8:30AM... Then your off anytime between 4:00PM and 5:00PM... just depends on what you have to do that particular day. I currently live in the barracks on post. The barracks are basically little two bedroom apartments without a living room that you share with one other person. Then the whole building has a big living room to share that has a pool table, a big screen TV with Digital cable, and A big laundry room. I'm moving into a two bedroom house on post when I reach my 30th week. I'll finally have everything to myself!

I'm currently 15 weeks, I don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet but I really want a boy. We have a lot of girls in my family! I picked a name for either sex. If it's a boy his name will be John Aidan but we'll call him Aidan. John is after my step-father who passed when I was a little girl. And if it's a girl her name will be Adriana Nicole. That name has no significance. I just thought it was cute, and very Italian.
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Old 10-25-2003, 02:19 PM   #9
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Monica, I divorced the man who encouraged me to abort our child. Six years later, my father sides with him and keeps in contact. The only advice I can offer is not to marry a man who is anything like your father.
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Old 12-23-2003, 01:46 PM   #10
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Being a father of a teen girl myself, I don't understand how any parent can take the side of anyone else beside their own kids. My kids are everything to me. I even go to my daughters school and fight with the faculty about issues with a teacher of hers if I think she is right.
A parent that doesn't stick by you isn't a parent at all.
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Old 12-24-2003, 10:31 AM   #11
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BK,

I completely agree with you. It just took me about 21 years to figure out that he's not a father at all. I no longer go out of my way for him at all. He's called me about two times in the past 4-5 months but I don't call him. I have no desire to talk to him at all. It's really a sad thing not wanting anything to do with one of your own parents. I just hope that my daughter will have a better relationship with her father.
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