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Old 05-05-2010, 10:16 PM   #1
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humm My dad wants to see me.

Hey guys I hope everyone is well. I havent been on in awhile. I have tons of stuff going on.

Anyway I got a message that my dad wants to see me. Im conflicted as to whether I should see him or not. We havent spoken in quite some time. He asked for my address. I suppose he plans on just stopping by to see me? I really dont know. This could be a blessing or it could be more heartache and pain which Im not sure I can handle right now. Any advice?
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Old 05-05-2010, 10:34 PM   #2
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Default Re: My dad wants to see me.

Would have to know more about the situation to offer up any advice. As someone who had no communication with my Dad for the last couple years.......I would say work with whaat ever relationship you can as long as it is not harmful to you. My Dad died while I was waiting outside his hospital. My family wouldnt let me say goodbye because of a rift the last few years. If anything positive can be had I say dont ever ex anyone out.
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Old 05-05-2010, 10:55 PM   #3
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Default Re: My dad wants to see me.

I don't know, I think at the end of the day only you can decide this. I think about my kids, my stepdaughters and the way their mom hurts them everytime they let her in at all. Same with all 3 of my kids and their dad now. But I also know adults who didn't resolve or face the issues with their parents and they are gone now and they always wonder "what if". It is a tough call, without knowing more hard to advise either way. All I really know to tell you is that you should search your heart, know your boundaries and be prepared to stick to them. Maybe not give an address, but meet somewhere neutral so you aren't opening a door that will be hard to close?
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Old 05-05-2010, 11:33 PM   #4
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Default Re: My dad wants to see me.

Whatever you decide, I hope it works out for you...I can't add anything to what has already been said, but I do hope it all goes the best possible way for YOU.
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Old 05-05-2010, 11:50 PM   #5
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Default Re: My dad wants to see me.

If you are to make contact, a neutral location would probably be best. I'm not sure why your dad hasn't been around, but maybe it will yield something positive. At least meeting on neutral ground you can minimise anything negative.
Good to see you back posting!
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Old 05-06-2010, 09:32 AM   #6
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Default Re: My dad wants to see me.

Yea....tell us more....and it really depends on why he has been away and if you are able to forgive him. Keep us posted and good luck!
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Old 05-17-2010, 01:09 AM   #7
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Default Re: My dad wants to see me.

I have a lot of personal thoughts on this subject that have creeped in since reading this post, but really... it comes down to you and whats going on with your situation. I strongly believe that meeting at your home is a bad idea, you should choose some place neutral IF you decide to meet. Also, I would advise thinking about if meeting him would be a positive in your life or a negative. If its possible that you might gain something inside that would be positive, then think it through and get your mind in order before you go.

As always, trust your heart and what you feel.

It's ok to say no. It's ok to not want this now or ever. It's also ok to see him if it makes you happy.

Hope this helps. God Bless.
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Old 05-18-2010, 10:51 AM   #8
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Default Re: My dad wants to see me.

My dad has been in and out of my life. Was it entirely his fault? Idk. Both him and my mom had a lot to say about it. We formed a pretty good relationship when I was a teenager. Then somewhere along the way it fizzled. His wife (now ex) was none to thrilled to have us around so she made things difficult and uncomfortable. When he was around he was wonderful, almost like the perfect dad. Its kind of weird. I guess he was trying to make up for when he wasnt there? Idk. Sometimes he just drops contact and I let it go. Its been about 3 years since I spoke with him last. I had reached out to him and at the time the family was at odds we had a disagreement and havent spoken since. I forwarded my phone number to the person he had asked for my address. This person is not exactly a reliable person or someone I would trust. So far I havent heard from him. I do remember Sara that it was a tough time for you. I think about situations like yours and I do wish things were different but it takes two and I dont have much left to give.
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Old 05-18-2010, 11:35 AM   #9
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Default Re: My dad wants to see me.

Then I would let him know anything he wants you to know can be sent in a letter. I would not see him until he writes you and tells you what he wants. If you do not want him to have your address you can get a PO Box.
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Old 05-21-2010, 03:02 AM   #10
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Default Re: My dad wants to see me.

I haven't spoken or seen my dad since about 9th grade, I'm 22 now. My dad has put my mom, brothers and sisters through some all of our lives. But at the end of the day, he's still my dad and he's the only one I've got. If he wanted another chance to be in my life, I'd give it to him.
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Old 06-07-2010, 06:56 AM   #11
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Default Re: My dad wants to see me.

You only have one dad - good or bad - he is still your dad. Meet him in a nuetral place where you feel comfortable. Take someone with you that you trust.

I did not meet my dad until I was 21 and it was by fluke that it happened. I worked in this pub and one of the regulars happened to know my mom and dad. He came in one day and said "Hey I say your dad today". Much to his suprise he did not realise that I had not met him and my face went a sheet of white. Anyways I met my dad two weeks later. He was in and out of my life until he passed away when I was 33. So I am very greatful for what time I did have with him being in my life.

Good luck.
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