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Old 12-28-2010, 04:08 PM   #46
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Default Re: Parents divorced, mom's new boyfrien

YEAH! Yes you opened that door and sounds like she was more than happy you spoke up about it. Keep the communication going with her, trust me we parents prefer it that way and don't always think of all the right questions to ask to help you get things out, you've got to speak up. NICE WORK! Proud of you for doing this and clearly can tell it felt good for you!
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Old 12-28-2010, 05:46 PM   #47
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Default Re: Parents divorced, mom's new boyfrien

Well done!
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Old 12-29-2010, 12:49 AM   #48
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Default Re: Parents divorced, mom's new boyfrien

Great step- good for you!
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Old 12-30-2010, 06:23 AM   #49
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Default Re: Parents divorced, mom's new boyfrien

I'm glad you finally spoke up. Nothing will ever change if you don't let them know. Good job.
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Old 01-17-2011, 11:26 AM   #50
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Default Re: Parents divorced, mom's new boyfrien

Hello again.

Something happen yesterday and i have none to tell, so i am telling you. It was about 23:20 and my brother was doing his homework. He does them every Sunday. So he wanted our mom to help him done his maths so he went to their room and accidentally caught my mom and step-dad having sex. My mom yells at him : get out !! He was so embarrassed. He later came to my room and told me this. He also told me that he was hearing them sometimes in the "past" having sex but yesterday he didn't hear anything that's why he went.

I felt that it is my fault, because i was the one who told my mom to be more quiet. They are still not speaking with each other. Is there anything i can say to my little bro or my mom?
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Old 01-17-2011, 12:32 PM   #51
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Default Re: Parents divorced, mom's new boyfrien

Just tell him you understand his feelings. And say if he wants to talk you are there. You can also offer to go with him to talk with your mom about how to deal with this. Hang in there. I think you are smarter and more mature than you think you are. You are mature enough to seek help.
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Old 01-17-2011, 05:59 PM   #52
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Default Re: Parents divorced, mom's new boyfrien

Oh, wow. I'm about ready to suggest you spike their food with saltpeter! (jk)

#1. This is in no way your fault. It is their fault for not locking the door. Period.

As for your bro...does he understand about sex? If not, this might be a good time to supply him with the facts. As for the embarassment factor of what has already happened...idk.

I don't think you can do much beyond helping him to know that it's a natural thing between adults and while it should be very private, it is not shameful in of itself...though at this point I think maybe your mom should be a little ashamed of her thoughtlessness.
Sorry but...she needs to be more aware of you guys being there for crying out loud.
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Old 01-17-2011, 07:41 PM   #53
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Default Re: Parents divorced, mom's new boyfrien

I can assure you that your mom is more embarrassed than you and your brother combbined. Maybe suggest a lock on their door though... and the old "Always knock first and wait for permission to enter" is really KEY here (now you know why us parents teach that rule early on)

Unfortunately, you cannot get them to stop having sex altogether... and were it not for the rest of your story, this could have been a simple accident. Though honestly, without kids asleep there is really no reason for this to be going on ESPECIALLY after one son has already brought up the topic. I would think she would be extra cautious at the very least at this point!

Whatever you do and whatever your mom does or doesn't do to remedy this... remember how disrespected you and your brother felt during this whole time of life. I wish all parents would be a more thoughtful with this stuff, your mom clearly has to rearrange some priorities here.

I agree, talk to your brother... and though it should NOT be your responsibility, I'd lay it out for your mom.
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Old 01-18-2011, 02:57 AM   #54
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Default Re: Parents divorced, mom's new boyfrien

Am I being a total here? Because I think this is a bunch of BS...........
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Old 01-19-2011, 11:06 AM   #55
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Default Re: Parents divorced, mom's new boyfrien

If you asked me 3-2 years before i would tell you that these things never happened. But believe me they do happen, especially your mom's boyfriend is younger. I already used to all of this situation, it's horrible, but whatever.

And i didn't really meant that this was my fault i just said it in a kind of "joking way", my brother just need to knock the doors before he come into any room. I just wanted to let you know. Anyway i heard them talking yesterday and i think they're acting like it never happen.
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Old 01-19-2011, 11:27 AM   #56
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Default Re: Parents divorced, mom's new boyfrien

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradthekiller View Post
If you asked me 3-2 years before i would tell you that these things never happened. But believe me they do happen, especially your mom's boyfriend is younger. I already used to all of this situation, it's horrible, but whatever.

And i didn't really meant that this was my fault i just said it in a kind of "joking way", my brother just need to knock the doors before he come into any room. I just wanted to let you know. Anyway i heard them talking yesterday and i think they're acting like it never happen.
You mean they're ignoring it altogether or they're telling your bro that he's imagining things? That last would really suck.

I wouldn't be surprised if they were just ignoring it though. Aren't too many excuses she could make at this point, I mean it's not like this is an isolated incident. She should be embarrassed, under the circumstances.

All that said, I think you and your bro are gonna have to just accept that your Mom is a highly sexual being. Some people just have a higher drive to do such things than others. It can even be an addiction where there is little to no control...though in your Mom's case it's probably just the newness of the relationship clouding her judgement.
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Old 01-20-2011, 10:23 AM   #57
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Default Re: Parents divorced, mom's new boyfrien

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Originally Posted by Bluemoon View Post
You mean they're ignoring it altogether or they're telling your bro that he's imagining things? That last would really suck.

I wouldn't be surprised if they were just ignoring it though. Aren't too many excuses she could make at this point, I mean it's not like this is an isolated incident. She should be embarrassed, under the circumstances.

All that said, I think you and your bro are gonna have to just accept that your Mom is a highly sexual being. Some people just have a higher drive to do such things than others. It can even be an addiction where there is little to no control...though in your Mom's case it's probably just the newness of the relationship clouding her judgement.
"they're telling your bro that he's imagining things?"
No, of course not. That would be ridiculous. I meant that they (my mom and brother) are just ignoring it. I asked him what's going on and he told me that there is no problem anymore.
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Old 01-20-2011, 10:31 AM   #58
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Default Re: Parents divorced, mom's new boyfrien

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradthekiller View Post
"they're telling your bro that he's imagining things?"
No, of course not. That would be ridiculous. I meant that they (my mom and brother) are just ignoring it. I asked him what's going on and he told me that there is no problem anymore.

Well, he isn't the first kid to walk in on such a thing.

So, quit worrying and enjoy your youth, . Oh, and always knock first......
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Old 01-20-2011, 10:52 AM   #59
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Default Re: Parents divorced, mom's new boyfrien

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Originally Posted by Bluemoon View Post
Well, he isn't the first kid to walk in on such a thing.

So, quit worrying and enjoy your youth, . Oh, and always knock first......
ok !!
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