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Old 11-27-2015, 09:45 AM   #1
valkyrie Female
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Default Help please

I will keep this as brief as possible because I could literally write a book about this entire nightmare and no one has time for that

I am in a relationship with an amazing guy who has a child with his ex wife. His marriage to her was pretty much a joke, and when things started to get really bad she winds up pregnant. Surprise surprise.

I have been best friends with him for almost a decade, we helped each other through our divorces and wound up together. It really is much more of a fairy tale story than that but the nightmare of what our relationship has turned into overshadows it.

Here is my issue; he absolutely WILL NOT cut his ex out of the picture. All throughout the beginning of our relationship he would lie to me and mislead me. He would promise me to handle her drama and then do the exact opposite and do pretty much whatever she wanted because she has him completely brainwashed that she can take away his kid at the flip of a switch.

He gave her all his money, to the extent where we were in danger of being able to just pay our bills. I had to take out a loan against my vehicle just to pay for a lawyer because he didn't file first when he had the chance (and the money). He would do everything she demanded to keep her happy just so he could see his kid for a mere few hours a week.

He lied to me about getting a DNA test done in the hospital when his kid was born, even though his ex was known for cheating on him. He promised me during the court proceedings that he would do whatever he could to get her out of the picture legally and still be able to see his kid. When we did get visitation, she would literally feed the baby food to intentionally make her get sick right before we would get her so the visits were a constant screaming, throwing up nightmare of an experience. You think he did anything about it? Nope. He is scared to death of standing up to her because she has him convinced she will take away the kid. We are now going on two years of this ____.

I have been misled, flat out lied to, or just completely left out of the loop and yet i am still expected to drop everything I am doing and surround this little child with all the love in the world and ignore the fact that his ex is making MY life miserable?! I have been harassed, stalked in the grocery, people showing up at my house randomly, subpoenaed to court, you name it and I've been the situational punching bag.

He has made improvements, he took me along on pickups and dropoffs for a while but that didn't help because instead of hearing about the exchanges I got to see him still kissing her feet in person. I refused to continue going.

He has NO reason to continue to pacify her, yet he does.

She threatens him with going back to court so he will do whatever she wants.

He promised me months ago to stop responding to her and answering her texts if it didn't pertain to pickups and dropoffs or the kid was in the hospital, you think that has happened? No.

I cannot continue a relationship with someone who can't handle his ex for another 16 years this way.

I love him more than anything but I cannot handle this. I have done everything, I sat back and allowed him to lie and mislead me and I continued to give him chance after chance to make it right. But I am getting to the point where enough is enough. Please, someone tell me that you have been through this and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
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