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Old 11-14-2011, 07:11 PM   #1
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Default Biracial kids

I'm a newly single mom who is from Belize in central America and my husband is from Nebraska and white. Since he left I've had thoughts of if I'll always be alone. I'm kids lookmwhite and I'm concerned about how and if I'll be able to myself socialize them in both the culture we both are. I'm absolutely terrified that I might make a mistake in my decisions when it comes to them bec obviously I was not a good decission maker as I was in a marriage for 7 hrs and the relationship for 12 not knowing he would walk out when I thought all was great. I'm soooooooo scared, lost, angry, sad so sad.
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Old 11-14-2011, 07:40 PM   #2
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Default Re: Biracial kids

These days the racial issue should be much less then it would have been a century ago.

It's true that culture (more than skin color) could cause some confusion and misunderstandings, but as long as you ask for advise when you feel unsure and explain when you unintentionally give the wrong impression to someone you should be fine.

Most people would be interested in learning about your culture...most who would be worth cultivating a friendship with, anyway.

As for trusting your own judgement, hey, we all make mistakes, but don't go owning the sins that are his.
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Old 11-14-2011, 07:45 PM   #3
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Default Re: Biracial kids

BM-We need a "Like" button on here!
I think it is great that you want to show your children both cultures! I have always found other cultures fascinating.
I don't think you will face as many challenges as your expecting, in the biracial area anyway.
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Old 11-14-2011, 10:37 PM   #4
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Default Re: Biracial kids

What ivencome to realize tonight is that I never had these thoughts when I was with my kids father. I guess I just thought (without really thinking) that he would do his part and I would mine and the combo together would be enough, as with everything else. Though today I will say I'm proud of myself bec my daughter was having a total meltdown and I recognized it was coming from our separation and held her and talked to her and listened and did everything I was supposed to except I txt her dad asking he call her for support and he didnt so will not do that again.
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Old 11-14-2011, 10:46 PM   #5
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Default Re: Biracial kids

Hang in there... Blue is right. You know, they may be part white, and if you are living in Florida, and they go to public schools, they are going to get enough of their "american" heritage. So, focus on what you can offer from your growing up in Belize.... Ah, Belize. That is somewhere on my "places before I die" list.

So of what descent are you? I know that English is the "official" language and it was a British colony. I know it has ties to Central America and is considered part of it, but that it has huge Carribean ties too. I have often wondered about the "locals" there. So what is do you plan on teaching your children about their heritage?

I have three biracial nieces. My sister and I are white, my sister's husband is black. I know there are some unique issues that biracial mothers still face, even though they should not.

If you continue to post here, you now have US to lean on as far as the American part of your children's roots and questions you might have.
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Old 11-15-2011, 09:29 AM   #6
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oh yea Re: Biracial kids

Yes belize is in central america. It is the only english speaking country in central america as it was once governed by britain. If u do go be sure to do the cave tubing totally fun and amazing kinda one of those once in a lifetime experience. Wow that seemed to get my mind off my crappy life for a bit, well that excludes my great kids I mean. Yeah kids do go to public school in fl and its an awesome school so I do my best to keep them socialized in that aspect as much as possible. Teaching them about my culture is easy, we bake a lot, I teach them cames I played growing up and I've noticed that the level of respect is a bit diff but also many of these things has come since my seperation as I've only had myself with the kids majorinput on what they do. Church was also a big part of my childhood and im getting them into that for the first time since birth they are 7 and 5. I hope my posts don't seem like im bashing on a race bec im totally not and how could I the two most important things in life are half that race and before june of this year I was with , what I thought was the most amazing person god ever created until me walked out with no explination. It's kinda hard reading some posts bec though some people find it hard that there was someone else in their relationship atleast they have an answerbut then again that's their shoe and this is mine, hurts just the same im sure. Tks L
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Old 11-16-2011, 04:44 PM   #7
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Default Re: Biracial kids

I don't mean to be negative at all. I currently live in Canada, which I consider a very multicultural country. My ex-husband in African American and my children are biracial. Although I don't feel that racism is what it used to be, on most trips I take to the grocery store, bank, library etc...people stare at us. I am constantly asked "are these kids yours?" or "are they mixed?" For the most part I usually respond in a extremely sarcastic manner, but I just wanted you to be aware that there are crappy people out there and I'm hoping you live in an area that isn't as ignorant as where I live, it's difficult enough being a single mom not having to deal with ignorant people.
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Old 11-16-2011, 05:04 PM   #8
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Default Re: Biracial kids

Scast93993, I am absolutely amazed that I decide to join this site today and there is actually another person on here from Belize! Perhaps it was meant to be that I came here today. I don't think you should be concerned about the racial issues....as long as your children know that they have the love of their family they should be fine. Have you come upon any specific instances where their ethnic background is looked at? I am assuming they are in school right? Just be honest with them should questions arise and be supportive of their possible needs to talk to you about situations (should they arise) which make them uncomfortable or sad. Hang in there hon - we Belizean women are strong - especially when it comes to the care of our children.
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Old 11-16-2011, 08:41 PM   #9
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Default Re: Biracial kids

my kids do go to a school that is primarily "white" and we have lived in such a predominant area also and we have not had any issues. yes there are the people who are ignorant enough as snglmom said as to ask "are those kids yours" of which i respond the very same way in a sarcastic manner and tone. I'm not trying to be rude but how would anyone like it if someone came up to them and just ask are those kids yours what is it really any of their business. When they were babies i would say no im the nanny. that killed me . I really dont have much ? as to if THEY will be ok bec im a damn strong person and have a strong sense of who i am(granted im a little down due to the current situation divorcing an all but) i do know who i am and im damn proud of it and will instill that same attitude in my kids. I do realize that they will have a harder time than i did bec they will never be "colored enough or white enough" but THEY have to know that THEY are enough and that comes from me and their dad. they are only 7 and 5 but i always tell them they will never be black enough, white enough, poor enough, rich enough, tall enough, short enough, fat enough, skinny enough BUT ONE THING THEY WILL ALWAYS BE IS ENOUGH.

Last edited by scast93993; 11-16-2011 at 08:42 PM. Reason: spelling lol
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Old 11-16-2011, 11:05 PM   #10
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Default Re: Biracial kids

snglmom1 - sometimes I think moms of biracial kids are more sensitive to this issue. For example, my sister is white as casper with bright red hair and blue eyes, her husband is black as can be! Their children are quite beautiful. She is stationed with her husband in Colorado and talks about the same stares. She does the same thing.

However, the times I have taken the children out (quite a few), I only notice the huge smiles and people seem to come over to tell me how beautiful "my" children are.

I am not saying that it does not happen, but perhaps sometimes we find what we are looking for? I really have tried to be objective about this because I WANTED to see someone doing that garbage! Just didn't happen. Doesn't even happen in my town, were african american people are like, almost nonexistent.
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Old 11-17-2011, 10:36 AM   #11
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Default Re: Biracial kids

scast, I live in Belize - born and raised here - but I look white....my children on the other hand, with the exception of one who miraculously came out with my extremely fair skin, all have a very tanned to brown complexion and they have the wild curly, dark hair....even here I have been asked if they are my kids...or people ask me who I babysit for when I take them to the park...I laugh it off and say "Nope, they're my babies"...if they know we accept them it may not matter much who else does not. And yes, let them know they will always be enough - just as they are. Divorce or separation is tough - on us as the partners but especially on the children....the transition is even more difficult for them...but with love and understanding and by letting them know that they still have a family who loves them...you'll be amazed what they get through with their smiles intact. God's blessing always...
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Old 04-12-2012, 11:32 AM   #12
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Smile Re: Biracial kids

Hi Bizeanmum
Just wanted to say be strong in yourself. this advise seems trite but being strong is essential to be able to deal with life on your own.

Take care of yourself and your children.
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Old 04-29-2012, 11:23 AM   #13
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Default Re: Biracial kids

People are very judgemental no matter where you are. I am biracial and my own family treats me and my kids differently because of it. my dad is black, my mother is white and its my moms side of the family that treats us that way. I get stares bc both my children's fathers ate black and my daughters skin is darker than mine but my sons is more my skin tone and has curly hair like me where my daughters is more kink, thick and not like mine at all. Genes make.up us and what our children look like so it ix what it is. People r just rude. Racism is taught and learned just don't make their skin color an issue.or they will grow up being self.conscious about it.
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Old 04-29-2012, 11:40 AM   #14
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Default Re: Biracial kids

I'm white, BM is black and Bubba is Zebra...I've got a little experience with this...especially when I was with BM and her daughter (black) was with us...I'm like the poster child for the Aryan nation...Blond hair, blue eyes...you get the picture...

I think that we play a huge part in this...and the way our kids grow up thinking about themselves...

BM saw racism everywhere...in everything...

I don't...

I'm sure that people do, but what can I do about it? I go out of my way to downplay any issue and make sure that Bubba acknowledges and moves on from any instance...

If we are controlled by it, our kids will be controlled by it...

sadly, current times are seeing a huge uprising of racial division...and all we can do as parents is get past our own prejudices and help our kids get past others...

teach your kid that they are different, and well, they'll feel different...

does that make sense?
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Old 04-30-2012, 12:04 AM   #15
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Default Re: Biracial kids

Myself and my son are both heinz 57s. I don't care what anyone says or thinks... my heart has no eyes. We love who we love. We look at our kids and see beautiful people. I've been asked about myself and my son, "What are you?" or "What is he?" I often answer .... we're human. Lmao It's like DB says..... it'll only bother your children if they are raised to believe it should bother them. I know exactly what you are feeling with the cultural heritage thing, my son is half Navajo"Dine"... he will most likely miss out on knowing most of his Native American culture, because his dad has nothing to do with him. There's nothing I can do to change it. It sucks, but it is what it is. All we can do as parents is the best we can with what we have available. :-)
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Old 03-05-2013, 09:45 AM   #16
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Default Re: Biracial kids

as long as you love your children and expose them to your culture and values and their fathers culture you have done all you can.
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