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Old 05-04-2017, 12:12 PM   #1
friskymix Female
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Exclamation What do I do?

Hello all I haven't posted in awhile but here I am again with a question. Well things are going well have been passing all my classes at the University but I live with my mother due to what I get from student loan, I literally cannot afford my own place. My daughter hasn't seen her father in 9 months due to me, I told him until he gets his act together or shows he wants to be a part of her life then he cannot see her. Well the last month or two he has been messaging me almost every 2 weeks so I decided okay I will give him a chance. I brought my girl to see him and the played and he even got her something to eat. I went home later and my mother was told that my daughter seen her dad and my mother was angry. She stormed up the stairs and started yelling " why didn't you tell me you seen him?" I said why did I have to? She went on about how it affects her and she was mad that she was living here and paying half the rent and hes not around and yelling about how my kid is just going to have her dad leave again for 9 months and she's paying all the bills. I thought what and said so, excuse me why are you so against my daughter seeing her dad? This is why I tell you nothing because you get like this from autumn seeing her dad. She wanted to see him and he wanted to see her why are you making this about you?
Well it didn't end there the next day the dad messaged me and asked to see her again and I said ok he got my girl and I as she had school soon and had taken her to see him family who also hasn't seen her in awhile. He went to her soccer game and cheered her on and cooked for her and even asked if she could spend the night over. This all happened and when I went home my mother freaked out she called all over the city messaging his mother and when I got here she packed her bags and told my daughter she was leaving 5 hours away.
I don't know or how to deal with this situation I am going to be 32 and just because I live with my mother temporarily I don't feel she has a say over if my daughter is in her fathers life. If I feel he is making better choices for her I am happy about that.
Why is she even going on about the bills she pays and that she is hurt when my daughter is the one who matters in all this.
I have 3 brothers and the oldest doesn't know who his dad is never met him.
My other brother only just started talking to his dad and hes 34
My other brother talks to my dad through text but never had the bond that one would need.
I never knew my dad really seen him once and awhile.
So I know what it's like I don't know why she is doing this.
Can someone clarify if I'm being crazy or what to do thanks.
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Old 05-04-2017, 01:00 PM   #2
Woodsimply Female
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Default Re: What do I do?

Nice to read ya, Frisky!

You're not crazy. Just sounds like a generally frustrating, difficult situation for all involved. It's great he wants to be and is trying to be involved!

Just keep doing what you feel is best for your daughter. Your mother is probably dealing with her own emotions regarding this situation she can't quite explain nor does she understand.

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Old 05-04-2017, 06:56 PM   #3
muskiedad Male
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Default Re: What do I do?

I would imagine your mother is helping out due to sincere concern and sense of responsibility toward you and her grand daughter. When she sees someone opting in and out of her life, she may feel used or taken for granted. I'm not saying you are doing that, just that she may feel that way. If he is not helping out financially then she probably feels he gets the "fun" side of things with none of the "real life" responsibilities of paying bills etc.
Deep down she may also fear your daughter will be hurt again when the father decides to distance himself again.
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