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Old 04-24-2013, 09:44 PM   #1
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Unhappy It's all your fault!

My oldest son says this alot. I've told him many times before in certain situations, it's not my fault, that he has choices. He's 11. It's starting to weigh real heavy on me since coming out of a relationship where my ex was saying it's your fault alot to me. It took alot of courage & strength to get here only to have my son do this to me. He's started on this about 6 months ago or so. Nothing new has changed in our life. I don't have anyone I'm seeing, he's doing good in school, so I don't know what it is. I don't know what I can say anymore. I'm worn out from all this.
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Old 04-24-2013, 10:18 PM   #2
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Default Re: It's all your fault!

I feel ya. K is 11 & thou hes not saying that, he is behaving it. I think....
Just wanted to let ya know your not alone. Gets frustrating.
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Old 04-24-2013, 10:22 PM   #3
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Default Re: It's all your fault!

Yup, seems to be all of them, it is partially their developmental place at that age... but doesn't make it acceptable. People who blame the world rather than take responsibility do not make productive humans as adults. it is probably my biggest pet peeve of all, blaming everybody else! Go through it here constantly with my three. I've even explained how it is disgusts me and is one of the least attractive traits a person can have. AND until you take responsibility you cannot 'choose to be happy' so good luck to ya, Yup, pet peeve and living it. No real solutions for you other than most of us can commiserate.
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Old 04-24-2013, 11:02 PM   #4
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Default Re: It's all your fault!

Yup. Told K tonight, after he blubbered about feeling "angry, sad and scared" in that order, that none were an excuse for his current behavior/choices.
We adressed, specifically, each emotion and root cause. But realistically he screwed up. Own it!!
Thats my theory.
Few things in life are truly ours to own. Accomplishments & mistakes are two of them.

But yup. Same here. Good job continuing to hold him accountable
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Old 04-24-2013, 11:30 PM   #5
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Default Re: It's all your fault!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Woodsimply View Post
Few things in life are truly ours to own. Accomplishments & mistakes are two of them.
Love that line, Wood!
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Old 04-25-2013, 03:49 PM   #6
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Default Re: It's all your fault!

Just be there for him. Remind him that he is not at fault.... other than that he's just a child and should not worry about adult stuff. He needs to worry about having a good childhood.
11 is a hard time because all the changes are starting up... My DS4 was 10 when we went through his mother leaving and the divorce. He saw things from his prospective, not 3 years later he says he sees more of what his brothers did. Be stable, loving and never tell the kids how screwed up the other parent is. It only hurts them and damages your relationship with the kids in the long run.

Hang in there, as my grandmother used to say..."like constipation, this too shall pass.."
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