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Old 01-23-2014, 07:30 PM   #46
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Default Re: Career question

Good luck!
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Old 01-24-2014, 01:47 PM   #47
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Default Re: Career question

Interview went really well!!! It appears that I am a perfect fit for the job, fits my talents perfectly. I also have experience that they like in their field. This may actually work out! I am scheduled for a second phone interview next week.

On another note, I had a one on one meeting with my boss this morning and I got some stuff off my chest. I told him what I thought my job was, he told me I was wrong. I told him that always before I have always been a "project manager" in practice (not in title) because these were always just jobs I ended up doing because I am good at it. I WAS doing that here until he became my boss, now I am not the boss of my own projects anymore, but have to stare the responsibility and decision making with somebody else, which drives ME crazy! It was actually a really good meeting because we established that I am not happy doing what I am doing now, and we established that I want to move into project manager role. He said he would help me with this in any way he could but for now I needed to work with this other engineer. I don't work well on a one-on-one basis with other people, never have. I explained that to him too, all my life I have been a take charge kind of person, it is who I am, my basic personality. He can't ask me to change it. I told him that at this point I have no idea what I am supposed to be doing. I need responsibilities that are MINE and mine alone. I am able to work with other poeple, but I need the ultimate responsibility to get the project complete to be mine, and mine alone. But he says that that is not the way it works in this department, so nothing really go resolved except that now he knows I am not happy doing what I am doing. *sigh* I need a job where I am in charge, where I can let my leadership tendancy out. It is really hard for me to share my management with another person (which I fully believe doesn't work, one person needs to be responsible for a project, whatever project it is, things don't get done if there are too many cheifs, which is exactly what is going on, why my project went from being ahead of schedule back when I was the only "manager" working on it, now there are three and it is 4 months behind....)

If I get this new job, I think I would be so much happier. It is a "project engineer" meaning I would be given responsibilities for capital projects, or any project, and my job would be to get things done, schedule, cost analysis, etc. I would be great at that job!!! Give me a job where I am responsible for getting things done, and I am perfect, give me a job where I have to work with geeky engineers that hold up a project because they realize that the weldment of a part (for some reason the word f_l_a_n_g_e was taken out, what is wrong with ______?) on a tube is off by 0.01" and I have no power to say, "lets not worry about that right now, we have custoemers who are waiting for this testing to be completed, lets just get the testing completed and get this released to the market, THEN you can worry about the 0.01" off tolerance, but ignore it for now!" But they won't LISTEN to me!!!! Am I the only one who actually CARES that we have customers WAITING for the release of this new model?!?! UGH, I am so frustrated I could pull my hair out!

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Old 01-24-2014, 09:32 PM   #48
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Default Re: Career question

Being even that far off can be an issue. It caused my company to recall a medical device. Very bad. But I see your frustrations.
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Old 01-27-2014, 09:43 AM   #49
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Being even that far off can be an issue. It caused my company to recall a medical device. Very bad. But I see your frustrations.
I agree, on some things this is true, but for this piece of equipment I am talking about it isn't an issue. They have been being made the same way for 30 years and there have been no problems so far. The point is, this new guy wants to run these additional tests that are completely irrelavent to the scope of the project, a project that is already 4 months late, and there are customers out there waiting for it. (Back when I was still under my old boss and I was the project manager of it the project was consistantly ahead of schedule) I asked point blank in the meeting "so what will be the benefit of running these additional tests?" and I got a "ummm, ohhhh, it would be nice to see...." type of response. But in the end boss just ended it with "I am the boss and I am making the decision to do these extra tests". I feel terrible for the customers out there who are waiting! We already have purchase orders from them, I feel like I am letting them down, even though it isn't my fault, but they are being let down, which makes me look bad, my company look bad and even my old boss too look bad, it makes all of use look bad. It is amazing how one man can do so much damage.

After that I realized that the boss thinks very low of me, and does not consider my opinion to be important, even though I have been working on this project and I have been the "project manager" for over a year (he has only been my boss for a few short months). Suddenly he removed any authority I had over the project and gave it to the new guy who has only been here a couple of months. The boss just told me that I can work on the drawings and I should dedicate all my time to the drawings.....something a monkey can do....I was mad, but now I just realize that the guy is a VERY bad boss, and I need to get out of here! I am sorry, but I was really upset on Friday after this meeting. It is really depressing when you see a project you put your heart and soul into for over a year go down the toilet.

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Old 02-27-2014, 02:41 PM   #50
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Wow, work politics are fun to watch when one has been removed from the middle of it and put on the sidelines. I was giving this totally lamo boring BS role, but I am doing it, not putting a whole lot of effort into it, but I am doing my job. But I am watching this new engineer my A-hole boss hired. Total brown nose, I mean if you look up "brown nose" in the dictionary you would find a picture of this new guy.

Here is what I am seeing. My project was given to him because I was told that I am not "responsible" enough to handle it. Okay, so I sit on the side now and watch. This new guy is way worse than I was!!! a month ago when my project was turned over, I had the design for this new part that is necessary for the project, basically completed. I needed it to get built quickly because the whole project was a month away from being done! This part is needed, the project can not be released to market without this new piece. What makes it better is there are customer orders waiting on the completion of this project. I told the new guy about a month ago to plan on about 3-4 weeks to get this new part built and tested.

I am sitting here on the side watching, 4 weeks later, not saying anything, and he still is dinking with the model, hasn't even started doing the drawings for it yet, much less get it in the shop to get it built!

I find it hilarious! Wow, this is going to blow up so badly! Maybe boss will realize that I wasn't as bad as he thought I was!! LOL!!

But I am sure I will get the blame for it somehow, boss will come up with some BS excuse why it is my fault, not the new guy's fault. By the way, the brown-noser can't be the one to do anything wrong, right??? LOL!
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Old 04-30-2014, 10:10 AM   #51
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Update:

I found a new job!!! Obviously, it wasn't the one I was mentioning before. In my line of work it takes several months to find a good job, but I actually got 3 offers! Of course, I had to pick which one I wanted, or should I stay here? I did pick one out, the one that looked to be the best job in the best location. I signed the acceptance letter this morning and sent it back!!!

I am really excited! It isn't perfect, but what job is? But it is much better then here, more up my alley. I think I will be happy there. My new boss seems like a really great boss, level headed, respectable, doesn't look down on others, but expects the best from his employees, I think he will be a very good boss. What I like the most though is the location! Of course, it will require moving....again....which I am a little nervous about, but it is to a place I have been wanting to get back to for years, I think M and I will be happy there. Much happier then here. More to do, less crime, better schools.

Thank you all so much for your support through the hard times I have had, it has been rough, but it will get better.
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Old 04-30-2014, 12:34 PM   #52
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Default Re: Career question

Where are you moving too? You left that out!!!!!
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Old 04-30-2014, 03:06 PM   #53
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SM: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So exciting for you and I'm just so very happy you're getting out of that awful environment. Did you submit your resignation yet?? How much longer at the old job?!

Please keep us posted!
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Old 05-29-2014, 04:36 PM   #54
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Hello everybody, just thought I would give an update.

I was ready to take that new job and move to NY. I was all excited, I would have a different job, live in a much cooler location (as in having lots of fun things to do) and it would have been closer to my mom.

But something happened that changed everything. My mom passed away.

My mom has been having problems the past few years but despite it all she was still my mom, and my best friend. She was that one person in the world I could talk to about anything, anything at all, the only person I felt like I could, and she is gone. I feel a huge hole inside, like I was standing on a ladder and it just got yanked out from under me, I am still falling. I have no idea what to do.

I turned down the job offer for two reasons. One, I lost my desire to move to NY, my mom is no longer there, so why should I go? Two, I can't afford to relocate. I had to pay for my mom's funeral which drained me financially. I was going to have to cover the cost of relocation for the new job (or most of it) and now I simply can't, don't have the money. I tried to ask them for more money for relocation, and they refused, so I had to turn it down.

I am lost, I have no idea what to do at this point. I am not looking for another job at this point, I have no idea where to look, or even if I should. My mom was the one who gave me all the good advice about what I should do with my life (or at least would back up my decisions) and without her....who do I have now, I am totally alone in the world now. I am so lost, and I realize now that the world is a terribly lonely place when you loose your best friend.

I miss my mom, I really need to talk to her....but she is gone....
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Old 05-29-2014, 05:12 PM   #55
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....
I am lost, I have no idea what to do at this point. I am not looking for another job at this point, I have no idea where to look, or even if I should. My mom was the one who gave me all the good advice about what I should do with my life (or at least would back up my decisions) and without her....who do I have now, I am totally alone in the world now. I am so lost, and I realize now that the world is a terribly lonely place when you loose your best friend.

I miss my mom, I really need to talk to her....but she is gone....

Im sorry for your loss, Im in the same boat. I lost my father, he was my best friend, and confidant too and much desires on so many levels, some days are ok, others I just numbingly get through it.


{{Hugs}} we will get through this
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Old 05-29-2014, 05:27 PM   #56
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Motherboard, when did your dad pass away?

It has been harder then I thought it would be. I just can't get over this feeling of being utterly alone, and abandoned. I am finding it hard to care about anything, work, taking care of my son, my house. I am still doing the stuff I need to, but it is hard. I just want to curl up in a ball and crawl into a hole somewhere and disappear, forever. Is this how you feel too?
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Old 05-29-2014, 06:53 PM   #57
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Motherboard, when did your dad pass away?

It has been harder then I thought it would be. I just can't get over this feeling of being utterly alone, and abandoned. I am finding it hard to care about anything, work, taking care of my son, my house. I am still doing the stuff I need to, but it is hard. I just want to curl up in a ball and crawl into a hole somewhere and disappear, forever. Is this how you feel too?
yes. in august, im the only child so im having to deal with all his affairs alone. my youngest boys twins, stated college and moved out with a bunch of other 18 year olds. so its dealing with empty nest syndrome too.
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Old 05-29-2014, 07:19 PM   #58
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I am so sorry for your loss, SM123. Mom, again as always...so sorry for your loss and continued grief, too.

I have no words of wisdom..in fact, I'm at a complete loss. My relationship with my parents is/was so different.
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Old 05-29-2014, 09:13 PM   #59
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Dear SingleMom and MB,
I'm so so so sorry for your loss. It is unimaginable. I've lost parents (fathers/adoptive dads) and the pain and loss is something that i've carried with me through the years. At first it's a huge wave of overwhelming, paralyzing grief, and somewhere, when you least expect it and can't believe it, it does begin to ebb and flow, and sometimes i felt guilty because of that. but no matter what your parents love you and you love them, they live on because we have to live on for them. it's like we are the eyes and ears and senses for the ones who are lost and gone, because we carry on for them, for their memories. (i read this in a book recently and it touched my heart deeply). my mom has parkinson's and sometimes she can't remember certain things, othertimes she is completely lucid. it has to do with the neurological weakening and deterioration, coupled with the meds. But i look at daffodils and lilies-of-the-valleys because of my mom, and one day when she joins my other parents, i will love those flowers, not because they are lovely, but because she loves them.

that's how it is with my dads now, the most recent passing in 2008. the passing of time has made it ebb and flow, but i carry on because he loves me and wanted me to be happy no matter what. i survied my abusive marriage and crazy divorce, because my dad and my other dads who passed, they love me and they wanted me to have a happy life. so i do. for them. at least i do as much for them as i do for me and as i do for my children.

you and your families are in my prayers. i'm so sorry for your loss and i will be thinking of you in this terribly sad time.
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Old 05-29-2014, 10:04 PM   #60
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Blue, that was beautiful! I thank you so much everybody. This is the first time I ever lost anybody really close to me. My mom was the one person in the whole world I was most close to, next to my son.

I am going to continue this conversation in the other thread over here:
http://singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/...ad.php?t=25368

Again, thank you all so much! I have been so lost since my mom died, not knowing who I can talk to, but opening up here has really helped me a lot.
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