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Old 03-29-2014, 02:20 PM   #1
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Thumbs down Desperate

I can't say how badly I want to feel like I am an adult again. It's mommy 24 seven, and in between are a chool classes where all I do is work like a fiend. And I have not had a long-term conversation with an adult on a regular basis for many years now.


I need social time with adults. Desperately. Even at church, I'm rounding up my kid half the time. The other half I'm listening to the sermon. It's just kid all the time. And my soul feels like it is twisted and very small.

I have no one in the area I can trust with her. I haven't had time to really get to know other adults, and family is scarce and unreliable. She came home with a massive sunburn yesterday because her grandparents, who have lived in N. California longer than I have, didn't put sunscreen on her.

I have a week off of school. I have no childcare the entire week. My self-confidence has been flushed down the toilet for years, and even when I can talk to other adults, have no faith in myself. Counseling is not helping. Meds didn't help. This sucks.
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Old 03-30-2014, 11:36 AM   #2
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Default Re: Desperate

has she started school yet ?

make sure you go to ALL the her school stuff and network with the other parents there.
you could ask her if there are other kids in her class that have single parents and have her invite them over, parents too for a Friday night movie night.

and of course we are here for you 24/7 ~ You can do this
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Old 03-30-2014, 04:22 PM   #3
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Default Re: Desperate

There is another single mom that I know of in the kindergarten class, but she has an every other week custody situation. She does have ex to deal with (who doesn't) but it is very different from mine. And she hasn't been able to get her schedule sorted out in such a way that we can hang out together. We've been trying all year.
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Old 03-30-2014, 04:49 PM   #4
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Default Re: Desperate

hi one fine woman, if not single parents, any kids that your daughter is BFFs with? You can still invite BFF and mom over, even if she isn't a single parent. I know that only single parents can truly understand this experience, but it might be helpful to have adult time with another mom, too. my dd1 is in brownies and I've gotten kind of close with some of the other brownie moms. and they've been supportive and we have adult time every once in a while, or now it's gotten to the point where I've hosted sleepovers and vice versa, because the girls are all such pals...

I hear you about church--I am rounding up my kids with half an ear on the sermon, too...but just the act of going, you taking her there...is something huge. does your church have sunday school for the kids? even an hour with the kids in sunday school can help...

just wanted to respond that you absolutely have your plate full and it's understandable that you would be overloaded.

just a thought, if you are off school this week, is there a local library that has story time? etc? your daughter could listen to story time, and you could sit quietly on the side and read something else--even if only for a short time...or any other kid community events going on? I'm just brainstorming, not sure if any of these are possible, but just a thought...

you can do this and you are not alone!! <3
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Old 03-30-2014, 05:19 PM   #5
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Default Re: Desperate

Our church does a Children's Church and Nursery. This gives parents at least a half hour.... Plus we also do a monthly Date Night. Parents can drop off the kiddos at the church for an evening of games, dinner and crafts or a movie. It goes from 6PM to 10PM
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Old 03-30-2014, 08:00 PM   #6
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Default Re: Desperate

She is inextricable from me if I am anywhere with her. If we go to the library (good reminder--thank you) I have to watch her the whole time. If I drop her off, she worries I am not coming back. And yes, I am pursuing counseling for her.

I can suggest to the parents group at church the idea of a games night. Church is a few towns over so gas costs are always on my mind any time we go.

I just don't feel like a healthy person anymore.

I am an artist by nature--dancer, singer, writer, playwright, etc.

I took some music, art, theater classes in between my regular ones at school but that is all ending now that graduation looms. Since breaking my back in pregnancy and gaining twice my weight due to illness, starting to lose the weight after her birth but regaining it all due to meds, my body is a mess, so there has been no dancing. I took every form and loved it for most of my life, and that has been a dear loss.

I digress...

She crashed into a surprise nap this afternoon, and now I will have to drop my theater class anyway, since the last production I could catch for my analysis happened during the nap. It was 6 hours a week I didn't really have anyway.

That leaves me without any art form to relieve stress through in the most stress I have had.

So much not good all around.

I am guessing you all know that people can smell desperation. I think my crazy shows when I try to make play dates....
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Old 03-30-2014, 08:26 PM   #7
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Default Re: Desperate

It sounds like losing your expressive arts is as hard on you as everything else. That definitely doesn't help.
I think all you can do is take one step at a time into the direction that you want. Choose the option that you think is most realistic- library, church group, etc., and give it a shot. If it works, great; if not, try something else. And keep reminding yourself that you're taking steps to make it better. Even if "better" doesn't come right away, you're moving in that direction. Even coming here and sharing what you're feeling helps.
I don't have great answers on this topic- I struggle with finding time and energy (and the guts to break out of my shyness) for adult relationships, so am reading this thread as much for personal gain as to provide support- I wish you the best, though!
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Old 03-31-2014, 02:35 PM   #8
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Default Re: Desperate

hi onefinewoman! i'm sorry you have lost your art classes...that would be so hard. there is one life saving hobby i have, and if suddenly i couldn't do that anymore, i'd be a heaping mess.

I agree that it might be helpful to break it down into "do-able" steps...and just stay focused on one thing at a time. I know it's easier said than done and it will come in time...

Also, how old is your daughter? The separation anxiety could also be a developmental thing, too...some kids just cling more than others and eventually they will grow out of it... also, sunday school--that would be good if she went, because then you would not be in the room and have a 'break.' my DD2 used to not want to go to sunday school when she was younger, but the teachers understood, and five minutes after i left, she just played and had a great time. The less time at 'the transition' the easier for her...and for the last year now, she's been bouncing on into the room, because she was used to the routine.

but again I know every kid is different and what might work for one might not work for another...just a thought!
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Old 03-31-2014, 09:16 PM   #9
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Default Re: Desperate

She is 5. She is better at transitions than she used to be, the crying is not quite as frequent. It's now maybe a third of the time. I just want a real break and time to regroup. And it's not coming. I nearly died in pregnancy, and then have had her pretty much by myself, with others involved but not supportive, for five years. I am just so insanely fried.
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Old 04-20-2014, 01:15 AM   #10
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Default Re: Desperate

I feel your pain. I think 5 is a tough age because the child has had time to really wear you down. I was just saying that I often wonder if one single human being was truly designed to raise a child from infancy to adulthood.

Not saying a single parent can't be a good parent, just saying that everyone's body and mind has a breaking point and if you want to find it, have a kid!

Your post hits home as I struggle with interacting with adults too. I would suggest that if you have an opportunity to send her to Sunday school during church do it regardless of whether she is crying or not. They can't learn to separate if we don't walk away.

Sorry that the meds aren't working and you don't feel well. I am sure that isn't helping.

The only way to get a long term break would be to put your child in some sort of foster care or something, which I am sure is not appealing to you.
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Old 04-20-2014, 02:19 AM   #11
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Default Re: Desperate

I will never give up. I can't even type it. That suggestion makes me sick.
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Old 04-20-2014, 09:55 AM   #12
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Default Re: Desperate

Quote:
Originally Posted by onefinewoman View Post
She is 5. She is better at transitions than she used to be, the crying is not quite as frequent. It's now maybe a third of the time. I just want a real break and time to regroup. And it's not coming. I nearly died in pregnancy, and then have had her pretty much by myself, with others involved but not supportive, for five years. I am just so insanely fried.
This statement was why I even mentioned foster care as an option. You aren't going to get a break or time to regroup for several more years yet. I hope you did not take my suggestion as an insult or a dig on your ability to parent.
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Old 04-20-2014, 05:23 PM   #13
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Default Re: Desperate

It was completely offensive to me. I nearly died repeatedly to bring that child into this world and everything I have done in the past six years is for her.

You don't know me. I get that you were trying to be helpful.

NOTHING is more important to me than being her mom.
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Old 04-20-2014, 07:52 PM   #14
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Default Re: Desperate

And happy easter..... Suggesting foster care as an option is completely inappropriate and unhelpful. Suggesting workable techniques or how to get breaks is helpful.

Foster care is for kids in abusive situations. Not for a break. Vacations are for breaks.

This op is at the end of her rope and suggesting foster care is a societal inferance of failure or abuse. It is also harsh and appears judgmental. This op needs a safe outlet and acceptance.
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Old 04-20-2014, 08:12 PM   #15
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Default Re: Desperate

OFW- any churches nearby doing vacation bible school? Not sure of your work schedule since it's typically during the day, 2 weeks I think. But even if you can get a day?
When my kids attended church, I always saw a lot of kids that weren't regular members at vacation bible school-so just saying you don't have to be a regular member. Not sure if there is a cost or anything.
I found this site by accident, and thou there's no physical support, there is emotional support. (And sometimes tolerance ). I say that because maybe googling, O'I don't know "single mom morning out" or "single mom needing break"?
Course the only sites I found locally are stay at home moms (yea. Not what I need haha)

Just thinking aloud really.

What type of hours do you work? Is she in daycare?

---------- Post added at 07:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:03 PM ----------

Just read your profile and was wondering, if she has your artistic nature maybe a night of pottery or ceramics? I use to do it when my oldest was about her age and it really, amazingly kept him occupied. He loved it!
Some places have separate classes for adults verses youngsters. Believe it was fairly cheap too but that was nearly 15 yrs ago.

---------- Post added at 07:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:10 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by LSL View Post
And happy easter..... Suggesting foster care as an option is completely inappropriate and unhelpful. Suggesting workable techniques or how to get breaks is helpful.

Foster care is for kids in abusive situations. Not for a break. Vacations are for breaks.

This op is at the end of her rope and suggesting foster care is a societal inferance of failure or abuse. It is also harsh and appears judgmental. This op needs a safe outlet and acceptance.
Yea that suggestion didn't make any sense to me either.

Isn't that like surrendering your child? Doesn't it take court involvement to get custody back?
I'm only asking out of curiosity really...
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Old 04-20-2014, 09:15 PM   #16
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Default Re: Desperate

Yes. You surrender custody and then have to prove you acn parent. Generally there is a neglect/abuse.
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Old 04-20-2014, 10:36 PM   #17
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Default Re: Desperate

Quote:
Originally Posted by LSL View Post
And happy easter..... Suggesting foster care as an option is completely inappropriate and unhelpful. Suggesting workable techniques or how to get breaks is helpful.

Foster care is for kids in abusive situations. Not for a break. Vacations are for breaks.

This op is at the end of her rope and suggesting foster care is a societal inferance of failure or abuse. It is also harsh and appears judgmental. This op needs a safe outlet and acceptance.
This poster is saying she can't take meds, counseling doesn't help, she doesn't feel healthy, and because of this child she no longer exists as an independent person. I in no way think foster care should be used as a break but the way she is coming across she is at her whit's end and in crisis. I did not say she was a bad parent. Re-read my posts. I even tried to clarify in case it came across wrong.

Foster care is an option when a parent feels they can no longer do it for whatever reason. An unhealthy person can't be a healthy parent and raise a healthy kid.

---------- Post added at 09:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:34 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by onefinewoman View Post
She is inextricable from me if I am anywhere with her. If we go to the library (good reminder--thank you) I have to watch her the whole time. If I drop her off, she worries I am not coming back. And yes, I am pursuing counseling for her.

I can suggest to the parents group at church the idea of a games night. Church is a few towns over so gas costs are always on my mind any time we go.

I just don't feel like a healthy person anymore.

I am an artist by nature--dancer, singer, writer, playwright, etc.

I took some music, art, theater classes in between my regular ones at school but that is all ending now that graduation looms. Since breaking my back in pregnancy and gaining twice my weight due to illness, starting to lose the weight after her birth but regaining it all due to meds, my body is a mess, so there has been no dancing. I took every form and loved it for most of my life, and that has been a dear loss.

I digress...

She crashed into a surprise nap this afternoon, and now I will have to drop my theater class anyway, since the last production I could catch for my analysis happened during the nap. It was 6 hours a week I didn't really have anyway.

That leaves me without any art form to relieve stress through in the most stress I have had.

So much not good all around.

I am guessing you all know that people can smell desperation. I think my crazy shows when I try to make play dates....
This post is where I got that impression from.

That's the beauty of a forum. We are all entitled to our own opinions.
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Old 04-20-2014, 11:38 PM   #18
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Default Re: Desperate

Virgo, I am sorry, but I read that same thing, and did not come to the same conclusion. You are right, we each have our own conclusions and opinions we can make, but they are supposed to be supportive... not harsh, not judgmental, and certainly not offering an unrealistic and horrible solution.

Have you seen foster care? Do you have any, any idea how kids end up there? They do not end up there because a single parent is bone deep tired... For the state to take custody of a child-- there has to be abuse/neglect. I certainly did not get that idea from this, or any other post this op has posted. Read the statutes. For you to suggest such a thing, does give an inference. Re-read my post. I did not say you said she was a bad parent -- I said that foster care gives a societal inference of failure or abuse....... because that is how kids get there.

Where did she say she can't take meds? She said meds caused her to gain weight! She also says she broke her back at some point. For crying out loud. She is at her wits end because she can't separate long enough to do the things she enjoys any more...... At some point, almost every single parent I know has been there. I have as well and I have a huge support system around me. In your earlier posts, I have read where you are at your wits end for not having that same support -- and how your parents resent and are uncooperative when you would like them to watch your daughter and you have been frustrated by that -- yet, no one suggested you place your little on in foster care. Crimeny.

This is a place for support... it is NOT a place to misread posts and suggest something that causes further pain to the poster. I agree we each can have different opinions. But when that opinion crosses the line, it is no longer to each their own. That kind of "opinion" is what chases posters away. And onefinewoman NEEDS the support desperately in her life. Before posting something, you might consider how you would feel if you reached out for advice and someone answered the way that you just did? Perhaps in your most pain if I would have suggested foster care, how would have that made you feel?
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Old 04-20-2014, 11:50 PM   #19
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Default Re: Desperate

Quote:
Originally Posted by LSL View Post
Virgo, I am sorry, but I read that same thing, and did not come to the same conclusion. You are right, we each have our own conclusions and opinions we can make, but they are supposed to be supportive... not harsh, not judgmental, and certainly not offering an unrealistic and horrible solution.

Have you seen foster care? Do you have any, any idea how kids end up there? They do not end up there because a single parent is bone deep tired... For the state to take custody of a child-- there has to be abuse/neglect. I certainly did not get that idea from this, or any other post this op has posted. Read the statutes. For you to suggest such a thing, does give an inference. Re-read my post. I did not say you said she was a bad parent -- I said that foster care gives a societal inference of failure or abuse....... because that is how kids get there.

Where did she say she can't take meds? She said meds caused her to gain weight! She also says she broke her back at some point. For crying out loud. She is at her wits end because she can't separate long enough to do the things she enjoys any more...... At some point, almost every single parent I know has been there. I have as well and I have a huge support system around me. In your earlier posts, I have read where you are at your wits end for not having that same support -- and how your parents resent and are uncooperative when you would like them to watch your daughter and you have been frustrated by that -- yet, no one suggested you place your little on in foster care. Crimeny.

This is a place for support... it is NOT a place to misread posts and suggest something that causes further pain to the poster. I agree we each can have different opinions. But when that opinion crosses the line, it is no longer to each their own. That kind of "opinion" is what chases posters away. And onefinewoman NEEDS the support desperately in her life. Before posting something, you might consider how you would feel if you reached out for advice and someone answered the way that you just did? Perhaps in your most pain if I would have suggested foster care, how would have that made you feel?
LSL, I am not going to hijack this girl's thread with your disagreement with me. As far as the meds, reread the very first post on this thread. As far as the foster care suggestion, I've heard it from a psychiatrist who I believe is a medical professional when I asked for alternatives.

PM me in the future if you wish to address me specifically.

---------- Post added at 10:50 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:44 PM ----------

OFW, whether you believe it or not, I wish you the best of luck in finding a solution to your problem.

And to stop any further conflict I won't post anymore on this thread.
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Old 04-20-2014, 11:59 PM   #20
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Default Re: Desperate

Virgo, I won't pm you when I think that someone needs to know that they are not alone and that this board cares about their sorrow, sadness, and desperation.. for the obvious reasons. You offended her. In a time when she was reaching out. Sometimes that deserves a response, or two or three..... A little bit of grace goes a long way. This has nothing to do with you, but rather her reaction to what was said.

As for suggestions on hanging in there:

1. Not sure about your city OFW, but I my city has some local art and dance classes that are mommy and me type classes. Sometimes it is the doing together with something you love can help.

2. Not sure on your financial situation -- but what about an activity for her? I placed my daughter in dance class and it bought me a guaranteed amount of time each week... best time of the week sometimes.

3. I also think that she is suffering from some severe separation anxiety -- I am going to bet that once she starts full time school, you are going to see a decrease in her anxiety when you leave her. Woodsimply is correct in that sometimes you just have to let them cry it out. Part of her crying it out is learning that you always come back. This actually helps in creating trust needed to soothe separation anxiety.

4. Church is a good thing for this like other's said.

5. Find some unique ways for your artistic outlet. Your tank sounds really, really low and it needs to be filled up. Not sure if you are connected to a church body, but there is a movement out there that subscribes to an "emerging church" theory. It is protestant and the movement very much believes in incorporating art/dance/other art forms into their worship. I went to a church once where they had dancers, and where they had people who painted during worship and the sermon. It was a beautiful experience. We have a "house of prayer" in my town that does this 24 hours a day, seven days a week.... perhaps doing this, and teaching your daughter about it, will help you to come out of yourself a bit and have that tank filled up.

We can only operate for another for so long before we start feeling like you.... Heck, my daughter is 15 and about three months ago I felt just like you. I was so stretched thin. Between my business, the needs of my daughter, the needs of my dog (I know sounds silly, but it is a bit like having a toddler) -- I was pulling my hair out. I had no time for me, no time for anything and feeling at my wits end.... I had to deliberately carve out "me" time to recharge those batteries a bit. I am an introvert, so being with other people, not so much my thing. From what I am reading, sounds like you need people time to recharge those batteries. So finding outlets like a women's bible study where they have daycare, that will allow you some adult interaction with a bit of daycare is going to be a relief to you. Give it a try again.
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Old 04-21-2014, 12:19 AM   #21
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Default Re: Desperate

OFW, are there any Mom groups that have regular get togethers in your area? We have them around here. Some are advertised on Meetup and Craigslist. Forgive me if someone already mentioned this, but that was a lot of tension to cut through up there...I didn't read it all I'm sure.


I don't think Virgo meant to be offensive but you are obviously not at THAT level of dispair, and that's great news. I'm sure as much as you think you have nothing left to give, you will give more because she is everything to you! But your tired, we all understand that. I wish I had some sage advice but I can only hope your stress will ease as she gets further into school. Until then celebrate every momentary break you get... it will get better!


Best of luck OFW!
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Old 04-21-2014, 02:46 AM   #22
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Default Re: Desperate

Quote:
Originally Posted by LSL View Post
Virgo, I won't pm you when I think that someone needs to know that they are not alone and that this board cares about their sorrow, sadness, and desperation.. for the obvious reasons. You offended her. In a time when she was reaching out. Sometimes that deserves a response, or two or three..... A little bit of grace goes a long way. This has nothing to do with you, but rather her reaction to what was said.
LSL Thank you so much defending me to Virgo. I am not used to that and I am grateful. Her awful suggestion has been upsetting me all day. Particularly given the holiday.

And Virgo, I would welcome an apology but I won't expect one. You do not know me, my mental state, or my parenting ability.

As for LSL's suggestions on hanging in there:

1. The local art and dance classes that are mommy and me type classes are all for toddlers at 10am during the week.

2. Not sure on your financial situation -- but what about an activity for her?
She is in dance class for an hour 2x a week. Paid for by her grandmother. I don't even have the $ to pay for gas.

3. I also think that she is suffering from some severe separation anxiety -- I am going to bet that once she starts full time school, you are going to see a decrease in her anxiety when you leave her(...)
She has been at school full time. She is 5 and was done with the preschool she attended, but not ready for the kindergarten she ended up in. I have been over there repeatedly all year, and they lost her once (it is a multi-building campus with no perimeter fence) and haven't protected her from a bully. I am going to pull her out as soon as I can get her into another school.


4. Church is a good thing for this like other's said.
I joined a church for this reason. It's Unitarian Universalist and covers my spiritual leanings, but most of the congregation is older and it is a bit out of the way. I haven't gotten the community support I hoped for. The Religious Education director was phenomenal when I joined, but she was replaced by someone useless when she left.

5. Find some unique ways for your artistic outlet. Your tank sounds really, really low and it needs to be filled up. Not sure if you are connected to a church body, but there is a movement out there that subscribes to an "emerging church" theory.
Sounds interesting. By the time we get home, I am usually too whupped to do anything. I am a full time student with night classes 2x a week this semester, with her dance class on the night in between which is brutal (the night time schedule, not the class), and she needs me every night. I have a sitter just for classes, also paid for by the grandmother. I can't justify being away from her more than that.

I am going to graduate in June. I just have to get there.

I will try doing more artistic stuff with her on the weekends. We do enjoy that.

As to "refilling the tank", YES, that I desperately need. I have been operating on fumes for years. But I can only pray that I will get there.
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Old 04-21-2014, 02:56 AM   #23
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Default Re: Desperate

I get it. I do. I went back to school... I worked 40 hours and went to school full time. Then I started law school. I worked 20 hours a week, and went to law school. I did this as a single mom. I was so tired, so very tired. She went to dance those two times a week and I used that time to try and do something for me. I would encourage you to do that. Maybe there is another mom just sitting at the studio... invite her to run and get Starbucks.. anything for some adult time.

I remember that beat down tired. My daughter suffered from some real abandonment issues and had a hard time separating too. Money was tight, could barely afford anything. I didn't sleep, fought depression, experienced panic attacks, felt pulled tight -------- I was lucky that my kiddo liked school. So that was not an issue.

Hang in there though... You are almost done. Almost. It will be worth it.
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Old 04-21-2014, 09:46 AM   #24
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Default Re: Desperate

Something that helped me and in the end I think made my son more independent, which was good as now he doesn't struggle with the clinginess, was having him stay with my parents one night a week, etc. and getting myself out of the mindset that he needed me every night.

Yes, he wanted me, but he was happy with them too, and in carving out that bit of time, where he learned to bond with others and manage without the mommy security blanket, helped him.

I don't know what would possess someone to suggest foster care for a while, I just don't...... I mean no personal offense by this but what good would that do at all? Yeah, you get a break. A break that might become permanent.... or land you in trouble in custody proceedings down the road.... or get your child abused....
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Old 04-21-2014, 10:04 AM   #25
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Default Re: Desperate

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I can't justify being away from her more than that.
I can so relate to this. My kids are teenagers so a lot of people suggest or think I should be more available to go out during the week & weekends that their home. Not saying it's wrong to "go out" by any means, it's just not my thing, especially when their home. There is the occasion I may go out on a weekend night, but really, I feel my place is home, with them. Not getting off work and immediately leaving to "go out". So, I get it.


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I am going to graduate in June. I just have to get there.

I will try doing more artistic stuff with her on the weekends. We do enjoy that.

As to "refilling the tank", YES, that I desperately need. I have been operating on fumes for years. But I can only pray that I will get there.
There are quite a few here who went back to college, so you're not alone there. It is hard. Towards the end of my schooling, I was working 3 jobs, with 5 classes, and the 3 kids (they were older thou-so a bit easier? They were more self sufficient?).

You will get there and it will be worth it! It was for me! That really explains (to me anyway) a lot more as to why you're feeling so at ends.

Hang in there. You're doing an awesome job!
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Old 04-21-2014, 10:13 AM   #26
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Default Re: Desperate

When I was young and played a lot of backyard football we had a rule about piling on...it was a penalty!

Virgo posted a basically supportive post with one "offensive" suggestion at the end. I must say I am more offended by the turn this thread has taken, specifically this;


"""LSL Thank you so much defending me to Virgo. I am not used to that and I am grateful. Her awful suggestion has been upsetting me all day. Particularly given the holiday.

And Virgo, I would welcome an apology but I won't expect one. You do not know me, my mental state, or my parenting ability."""


I came very close to flagging this post.


I would suggest it isn't just the OP's emotions on display on any given thread.


Personally, I am going to write this off as a big misunderstanding. I didn't see an intent to hurt anyones feelings.

I hope things get better OFW. I am sure they will. There is an ebb and flow to all this but brighter days are ccoming! BEST OF LUCK!!!


THANK YOU WS for getting it all back on track!!!
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Old 04-21-2014, 01:04 PM   #27
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Default Re: Desperate

I agree that it is supposed to be supportive here. But I feel there is no support in those words- it might have been meant, but.... foster care? When have any of us mentioned that as an option for a break seriously? I mean.... really.
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Old 04-21-2014, 01:16 PM   #28
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Default Re: Desperate

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I agree that it is supposed to be supportive here. But I feel there is no support in those words- it might have been meant, but.... foster care? When have any of us mentioned that as an option for a break seriously? I mean.... really.

There are times I don't post or reply (many actually) because something said has already been addressed, or great advice already given....
I think it may be best to keep the thread moving forward, trying to help OFW find resolve with the current issue, as opposed to running in circles...and looking back, focusing on semantics is not going to accomplish that.

Personally, I think a lot of us regular member's have a lot going on in our own lives these days (myself included)...the board seems very emotionally charged lately (myself *Not* excluded).

Let us not reflect on thing's already said and done (bit of philosophical Yoda speak there I'm just trying to lighten the mood-please don't shoot me )
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Old 04-21-2014, 07:37 PM   #29
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Default Re: Desperate

And with that, I am fairly certain the thread is done.
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Old 04-21-2014, 08:47 PM   #30
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Default Re: Desperate

I think you should decide that OFW. Like family we have are flare ups then we move forward. I did find a lot of Meetup groups in the N Cal area. Idk if any would work for you but something to look into.
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