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Old 03-22-2006, 09:02 PM   #1
Betsy Elizabeth
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Hi,

I am 32 and everything feels like it is crashing down on me. I want to be a good mom but I feel so pulled and flattened by all of my responsabilities. I have the sweetest most creative son in the world. I want to give him the best life possible. Between, work, night classes, and parenting I feel like I have no time to finish anything and do it well. I am so frustrated. Also, I have accumalated after the divorce and financial troubles that so often follow... a huge electric bill. My electric was just shut off and I am staying in my fathers studio apartment until I can pay off the $2000 bill and get my electric turned back on. I feel like such a loser. There was just no way that I could pay for two day cares (before and after school, night classes etc.. and pay it off. I just want to catch up and be able to pay things on time.

Also my landlord just called and he wants to inspect my apartment on Friday. (yearly inspection thing). It feels like it never ends!

It is so frustrating to feel irresponsible and overwhelmed by this. Thanks for letting me vent.
My head knows that with a good plan things will eventually work out but my feelings have not caught up yet.!!

Thanks.

Betsy
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Old 03-22-2006, 10:50 PM   #2
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I know how you feel. I am close to spiraling down myself. My boyfriend decided that after I had been laid off for 6 months, he had to leave. I still have not found a job or any means whatso ever. Unemployment has run out and my kids are all I have, really. I feel your pain. I am without child supoprt, and have been for three years. Regardless, I just wanted to let you know I will send good thoughts your way.

Be Well
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Old 03-22-2006, 10:59 PM   #3
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hello, i just wanted t say i can totally relate
i had to move back in with my mother, i haven't found a job and i also haven't worked since my son was born 19months ago so i am flat broke
his father is an alcoholic who blames his problems on me, i filed for child support 2 wks ago but his father got fired like the same day
anyway, all i wanted to really say was i feel your pain, sometimes theres so much going in in your brain even the simplest things are difficult
just breath
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Old 03-22-2006, 11:13 PM   #4
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Taking a breathe will help. Slow down.
Have you checked into getting assistance for daycare? You can call your local child services and find out what is out there.
If you can help yourself be organized will help also. I know easier said than done but schedules do help keep you organized and will help the emotions be in control.
I wish you the best, God bless.
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Old 03-23-2006, 03:37 PM   #5
Betsy Elizabeth
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Thank you.
It helps to know that other people struggle with the enormity of this single parent life.
I know all will get better. Thank you!!!
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Old 03-24-2006, 02:58 AM   #6
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Dont feel alone Betsy Elizabeth-believe me a lot of us feel the same! I am 36 and sometimes things are going great, and sometimes it seems like everything is going bad and I get a hard time from work, my kids, landlords, etc...and I feel like..at my age I should be doing better, But as bad as things seem, I try to remember it could be a lot worse. I think of women in other countries who have no rights, no help, nothing to give their kids, and I thank God for what I do have. So cheer up-things will get better, and welcome to the site! I always post things late b/c I work a late shift and dont sleep early..but Im glad to see your post and hope to hear things are getting better for you!
Lisa
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Old 03-24-2006, 06:35 PM   #7
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Betsy-Elizabeth,
The enormity of parenting is great. The enormity of parenting alone is even greater. We all share your pain.
One thing I have learned is that THINGS get done. Maybe not well but, they do get done. Being a good parent, keeping steady income, and going to school are the only things I strive to do extremely well. So what the house is cluttered, so what the car needs washing, so what I don't have a life outside my daily duties and so what we had cereal for dinner two nights this week because I did not get to the grocery. I am a good parent first, I do bring in steady income (although it is never enough), and I am making wonderful grades to help our future. Taking care of myself and my daughter is number one.
As for the electric bill. Have you checked with social services or the electric company and see if there are any emergency programs? I do know utility programs exist in Florida.
Keep your mind on the important stuff and "don't sweat the small stuff"
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Old 03-26-2006, 10:34 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by lost woman:
[qb] I know how you feel. I am close to spiraling down myself. My boyfriend decided that after I had been laid off for 6 months, he had to leave. I still have not found a job or any means whatso ever. Unemployment has run out and my kids are all I have, really. I feel your pain. I am without child supoprt, and have been for three years. Regardless, I just wanted to let you know I will send good thoughts your way.

Be Well [/qb]
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Old 03-27-2006, 03:36 PM   #9
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Wow.....this is the right place for. I'm in the hole $2000.00 total... back rent for my $950.00 two bedroom condo. I owe State Taxes...cell,h house--phone bill..cable..car note...insurance...weekend fun money.
I'm working- I'm back in school....but it's hard
when some pay weeks I don't have enought to get food in the fridge.... * crying *
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Old 03-27-2006, 10:59 PM   #10
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Hi All,

Hang in there everyone. The fact that we all have such awesome support on this site is one big step in the right direction. We are NOT alone and it sure feels good to know that.

I hear all of ya... I became a single, never married mom at age 33. No child support, no state assistance because "I make too much money".

Ok, granted, my salary SHOULD be a pretty decent pay but that doesn't explain why I still have to live with my parents, barely have enough money to eat, starting to rack up some serious credit card debt and have car repairs needed that I haven't figured out yet how I can afford...

Some days I am on top of the world when I look at my daughter but then I seem to sink into depression and I want to scream and cry because I am broke and lonely.

Rhode Island is so expensive to live in and I would give anything to pack up and move south where it is a little cheaper...but literally ALL of my family is here (living within a 5 mile radius) and we are all very close. I could never take Laura away from the people who love her so much and move where she has no-one.

I say every day how blessed she is to have such a wonderful family surrounding her with love... yet I feel trapped by it all.

Sorry...needed to vent tonight...

Deb
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Old 04-23-2006, 03:35 AM   #11
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Hello, I just wanted to reply, that yep i am here to in the ups and downs of singlehood. I feel that way too, on top of the world at times, and then really depressed to the point of just crying my eyes out. Sometimes its because I feel stereoytyped because I am a divorced single mom, somtimes I am ashamed because I can't pay my bills either, I have been in college fulltime to get done and get a better income, but sometimes its so stressful, when you think you have plan, but seem so alone and are the only one to reassure yourself.
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Old 04-25-2006, 03:09 AM   #12
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Well I dont feel so bad now. I was getting very anxious about bills, because although Im working 2 jobs Im still trying to catch up on things. It seems like Im always trying to explain a late payment to one utility company or another. I owe the bank for overdraft fees that I didnt realize I went over my account form so I been cashing my checks at a check cashing place...my registration is due on my car...the list goes on and on.
Its like..Im always working so where the heck is all the money??
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Old 04-25-2006, 11:16 PM   #13
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I can also relate..

My first husband left me with 25K in credit card bills...my second one left me with about 15K. I have an OK job and can pay the bills most of the time. This time I'm smarter than the first time, I hired a great lawyer who is taking my sexond ex to the cleaners regularly.

The best advice I can give you is, if you have credit cards cut them up. Stop using them and get things paid off. Look for ways to live on the cheap...I shop for groceries at Aldi and look for clothing for my baby at the DAV or Salvation Army. There are many ways you can save money. Evaluate your spending habits and that may help some.
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Old 07-07-2006, 02:12 AM   #14
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I am in the same boat no matter what I do it isn't enough, I get so sad when I have to tell Ashlee we don't have the money for things she wants. Her father seems to think she can live on Vienna sausages and mac and cheese and it is no problem. I hate borrowing money from my family because they always gripe and complain. It was so bad that all we ate was top ramen for a week she loved that one I hated it. I am a wreck come payday trying to make it stretch farther and farther, I don't qualify for any public assistance because I make 17 dollars a month too much. I am so damn sick of hearing how the Ex goes out to eat lunch everyday at work and here
I am trying to put food on the table for my Ashlee. It is horrible no matter what I do it is never good enough. I am that point where I wanna runaway and hide but that isn't going to happen around here where I can't even pee in peace. I am on the verge of having my phone lights and water turned off but the ex doesn't care he is more interested in other things and those things aren't his Ashlee or her well being. I hate men who think that it is easy to be a single mother.


Kim
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Old 12-08-2006, 09:23 PM   #15
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hello all.. i am new to this forum. nice to meet all of you.

a bit about myself - 31 years old single mom with a beautiful 5 years old son, i am currently residing in a tropical country in south east asia. was married to an american man, divorced early 2005. now working as a civil servant.

-----

well, i can relate to betsy elizabeth.. and truly i am also in a fix. my ex dissapeared after my son turned 1. i have worked in various places - and are paid very lousy.

at times when the bills started to knock at the mailbox, i felt like screaming my head off. everything goes up - fuel, bank's fees, tolls - and at time like this i wished that i could have somebody to share the burden with..sigh..

i feel the same with Berry2870 - i want to get away from the fast paced city life and retreat to the country where life is simple.. and credit cards are unneeded

but i know i couldnt give up on trying to make end meets. i owe it to my boy.. its a sink or swim situation and its a comfort to know that rome was not built in one day

dont give up
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Old 12-08-2006, 11:27 PM   #16
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Well, I have two phrases that bring me comfort when I am broke and everything is going wrong.
My ex-husband used to say "all situations are temporary." Funny to think of that now. I dont think he knew that he was talking about our marriage. But he was right. Over time and with small steps, any situation can be overcome and does usually work itself out.
My mother always says that "God will provide you with anything you need." "He probably wont make you win the lottery, but if you need a place to call home and food on the table, with god's help you will find it." I'm not a particularly religious person, but it's funny how you find soem religion when things get really bad. Hang in there, honey. Things can only get better
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Old 12-09-2006, 09:11 AM   #17
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during the very beginning of my divorce i remember having nothing except what i had on, not even a place to sleep - it is a long story.

i even had to give my son to my ex's mom for a while to get on my feet. religion found me, i did not find it. it is amazing what faith can do.

some people may think that it was luck and hard work that saved my son and i, but i cannot take credit. if it was not for my faith i would have never crawled out of the muck i was in.

i forget or do not realize the complete situation until someone asks me to tell the story - and i always end up praying thanks to GOD for hanging in there with me.

over the past few years i have come to the believe that we are put into situation that test us - maybe so we can be thankful for what we have later - my heart goes out to folks that are in trouble, because it sure doesnt seem fair when you are in the middle of mess and you are just trying to be a good parent and do the right things in your life.

=) back in those dark times, i tried my best to look at the good things in our lives (sometimes that was like pouring bactine on a broken leg LOL) but it helped a lot
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Old 12-09-2006, 06:59 PM   #18
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Amen, honey.
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Old 12-12-2006, 11:01 PM   #19
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Just remember...God will NEVER give us more than what we can handle. Tin, I believe ppl are put into situations that will test our strength and Faith.
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Old 12-17-2006, 12:26 AM   #20
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Hi, everyone, I am new here. I was really moved by alot of thing sposted here. I can relate wholeheartedly. My situation is a little different. I just divorced me 3rd husband in may of this year. He has custody of my daughter who is 3 and I was supporting my two kids I have with me solely on the little amount of money he gives me per month to pay off what he took from my daughter's survivor benefits and of course her survivor benefits paid monthly. Then this year, I got the courage up and decided to go to school using my GI bill. I thought it was a good decision. Here getting assistance with daycare takes up to two years, So I haven't really been able to work. Luckily my 5 yr old started school this year so I go to school now while my two girls are in school. Then , last week I get a notice stating I have to pick up some papers from the sherrif's office. He is taking me to court for child support. I have no problems paying child support. I just find the situation strange because I have another child that I have to pay child support for, I have actually fallen into arrears because my situation was so bad and his father wouldn't work with me at all. So, now that I can finally buy food without getting a payday loan, husband number 3 wants to get something out of me. It is only a problem to me because he makes alot of money, He goes to Red Lobster weeklly, he is remarried now and has a joint income, I have my measley gi bill and and my daughter's survivor benefits that I wish I could put away for her but can't because we need to live. I am also 6 months pregnant, the baby's father left me early in my pregnancy, we are trying to work things out but he doesn't want to get back together. When I agreed to give my 3rd husband custody of my daughter, it was because he promised he wouldn't do this to me before I was ready and because I wanted to go back to school and couldn't afford daycare. When Summer rolls around and I have to take a break from school to be home with the kids, I will be back to living on his spousal support (repayment for $20,000 he took of my daughter's survivor benefits from the VA and social security, after we found out he was murdered
after 4 yrs of being missing)Also , my second husband may pay me $29 if I am lucky now and then for my 8 yr old...I get really upset sometimes because the men I was married to are remarried and living comfortably. My 1 st husband makes almost $100k a yr and my 3rd makes $85k a yr , we live in the south too, his reasons are because he claims my circumstances have changed, yeah, I can actually buy food now and buy my 8 yr old pants that don't come up to her calves for a change. My income isn't even a steady one. To get daycare assistance I have to wait for 2 yrs to even get it. I hav eno family where I live and my only friend is my baby's father. No baby sitter , nothing. When I had summer visitation this yr I had to get on food stamps for the time she was here because I mad $15 too much per month. This really sucks. Then my ex thought it was funny instead of paying the full amount on the first of the month, to break up the payments in half so I had to struggle to pay my rent. This was his way of retaliating because he pushed me aside and forced his way into my home after being asked to leave repeatedly, I had him arrested for that. So ever since he has been doing things to get back at me. He is partly responsible for my break up with my baby's father as well. He posed as a woman and spoke to my boyfriend online and from what I can tell, now that I know more about what happened, my boyfriend really did know it was my ex husband the whole time. I didn't know this when it took place, I had just found out I was pregnant and Got hit with that. It was hard to trust my baby's father, now I see that I was mistaken about him and it is hard to win him back. A lot of damage has been done because of what my ex husband did. He even emailed my paralegal instructor impersonating some one else, stating that I claimed she was going to represent me against him for free when I did not say that at all. I had an attorney and had to make sure she knew that he did know this as well and was just being an ___. I am sorry, IT LOOKS LIKE i AM WRITING A BOOK. I HAVE A LOT OF PENT UP FRUSTRATION THOUGH AND I NEEDED TO LET IT GO. Sorry about that. Well thanks for reading my story.
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Old 12-17-2006, 08:06 AM   #21
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Welcome to the forum. Man what a mess, I hope it gets better for you girl.
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Old 12-17-2006, 10:48 AM   #22
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No doubt about that! Thanks!
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Old 06-25-2007, 12:32 AM   #23
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I am so glad there are people here to talk to and read what they're going through too and know i'm not the only one.

I'm used to my ex's six figures. He told me I'd live on mac and cheese and in a mobile home for the rest of my life if I divorced him. So far I'm still at my parents haven't even made it to the mobile home or mac and cheese part yet. I'm on WIC and foodstamps gives me $2.50 a week since I make so much money from child support which was lowered too because my ex refused to work this entire last year because he doesn't want to give me any money for child support.

This is quite a different life and I just sit here and cry sometimes hoping I didn't ruin my Son's possibilities of having a wonderful life. I just thought it would be better to not have him see alcohol all the time and see his Mommy hurt every day. I know I wouldn't have been able to stand seeing my Mom like that. I am just ready to face it that he's going to make sure I'm broke and miserable the rest of my life. He's made that very clear.
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Old 08-19-2007, 10:20 PM   #24
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Countless times I sat down thinking about that I should have done this or that with my daughter or felt bad because I cut her off when my mind was wondering somewhere else, I always strive to be perfect therefore I'll always feel I need to improve something but you know what? I'm having the time of my life, so what if the judge doesn't take under consideration that I'm doing everything by my self without any help, I'll manage, and that'll give me the opportunity to tell everybody go #@$%@ your self.
hehe j/k nobody would be here if we weren't interested in doing it better for the ones that truly matter, I think it's ok to feel bad, it gives us the strength to keep on going.
good luck everybody
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Old 09-19-2007, 01:12 PM   #25
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I know it is hard...very hard in fact. We are all here for you though.
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Old 09-23-2007, 12:41 AM   #26
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like others i know how you feel. after 2 years of stuggling i gave in and moved back in with my parents. sometimes we have to bite the bullet and ask for help. i let it get so bad my kids lived with my parents 200mi away while i tried to camp out and get it all staight. i got it right and moved in with my parents. it was the best choice i could have made. find your support and take a deep breath, you will make it we are all here to support you.
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Old 08-04-2009, 06:15 PM   #27
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Default Re: drowning and scared

Betsy,

It will get better. Look into programs that utility companies have for low income programs. You are not a loser, just having a challenge and you will be okay. Check out Angel Food Ministries, they have a great food program regardless of income.

Michelle
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Old 04-19-2016, 03:41 PM   #28
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I totally get it.

I think it helps to remind yourself of all the work YOU ARE DOING. You said your son is creative and amazing - that's you. Pat yourself on the back. All the rest is just details. Unfortunately there isn't much of a social net in the US. There are tons of women, professionals with high level degrees, who find themselves caught just trying to stay afloat.

My question is - can you get any financial assistance from your son's father?
It's really hard to be the solo-everything. I'm a solo parent as well - my son's father abandoned. The only good thing is the courts withdraw his support from his check - and then the rest gets mounted as debt. It's unfortunate - but it helps me raise my son.

So:
1 - go easy on yourself. Have a good cry. Then realize you're a warrior for all that you do.
2 - seriously consider what resources the other parent has - and how you could pursue those.
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Old 05-17-2016, 09:03 PM   #29
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My heart goes out to everyone in this thread.

Betsey, I total understand where you are coming from. I had to move back in with my parents for a while when my daughter was 10 because I just couldn’t pay the bills, and it made me feel so inadequate – like I’d failed at being a parent.

I’m so inspired and impressed reading your post and how you’re managing to juggle so many activities on top of work and parenting. I’ve been feeling really fed up with thing recently, but I still don’t have the courage to go back to college at the moment. I’m sorry you are feeling so down, but you sound like exactly the kind of person who will come through this stronger! Remember that you are not alone! Being a single working mother is hard! Smthang says, it is important to know that sometimes it is okay just to cry and let everything out. I know it helps me get perspective on life.
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