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Old 04-11-2006, 12:17 AM   #1
KalebsMommy
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Hey there everyone! i have been a member for a while now but havent been on in about a month. these past weeks ive been totally stressed out.

for a little background on my baby's life story....
Kaleb was born on 9/1/05 and he was healthy. is was the biggest blessing i have ever experienced. His father...(is black and has been arressted 6 times for drugs, robbery, and assult....and is manic depressive bipolar and has been hospitialized numerous times in the past few months...and has never seen my son) we were ordered to go to court for a DNA test in march....the father didnt show. 3 weeks after...the cops picked him up and he was ordered to take the DNA test....and what do you know he IS the father...(not like you couldnt tell that by looking at my son)

i have just recieved the papers saying we have to go to court for child support and custody...which isnt a problem...i think that i am ready for it...but since i havent seen the father in over a year and our relationship ended HORRIBLY i am really nervous to see him. i am having really horrible dreams about seeing the father and him trying to take my son...and to top it all off...i talked to his mother a few times also and she just called me after a month of not speaking to me (last time we talked she wanted to take my son for the weekend...i told her that i wasnt ok with that and she got angry and hasnt called since) so she called me tonight and said that the father of my son wants to talk to me and see me and my son.

our court date is only like 2 weeks away and i want to wait to talk to him and see him till then...i feel that the court will give me a little security to hold back the harsh words that i have to say to him.

i dont want to see him at all but since i have to....i gotta do what i gotta do you know...but i feel that because of his past i need to see him and talk to him before he sees my son...is that bad? i just dont want to expose my son to him if he is on drugs or mentally unstable.

also i wanted to know if anyone knows what happens at these kind of court dates??? is it going to be an all out battle???

thanks for listening and i hope that you can help in some way....and if there are any of you that have anything personal that you would like to add...please dont hesitate to drop me a private message...i need all the help that i can get!

thanks again!

callie
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Old 04-11-2006, 10:18 AM   #2
the sane one
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Kaleb is a little cutey. I agree with you about not wanting to meet with the father before court. I think it is a more structured environment, and if you have a mediator there with you, any nasty or harsh words could be curbed quickly and the two of you can just stick to what is at hand. JMO, but I hope it helps.
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Old 04-12-2006, 03:16 AM   #3
Tucson Superwoman
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Hi Callie-your son is so cute!
I definately would not meet him or let him see the baby, he is mentally unstable and oyu dont want to take the chance he may go off on you and/or the baby. He may have moments of clarity where he realizes hes messing up, but he needs time to work on things and get his life straight before he can offer the baby anything.
I would wait til court. Chances are he may try to talk you out of going for child support too. Does he even work? And I would not trust his mom either. Even though she is his mom, he is an adult and your son is a baby-if anything she should be mad at that guy for how he is handling his life and not taing care of business.
Good luck girl! Keep us posted, Lisa
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Old 04-12-2006, 10:07 AM   #4
the sane one
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Ya! About his mom. I dont trust my daughters fathers mom. I used to, but then I had her watch my daughter one day, and when I called to say that I was coming to get her, the mother didnt answer. I went to her house, and she tells me that she let the freak's (thats what I call HIM) girlfriend take her. I have no way of contacting the g/f. She couldnt even answer the phone to tell me. Freak keeps putting his mom as an emergency contact, and I protest because I dont think that if she were called in an emergency that she would even call to tell me. Thats her son. Beloved boy who can do no wrong.
I look at your situation and relate it to mine. I made mistakes of trusting people I shouldnt have and wish I could turn back time. I know every situation is different, but I cant help but to give you my two cents. It's ultimately up to you what you decide, but hopefully from these posts you can get a different perspective on it.
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Old 06-20-2006, 10:34 PM   #5
weareirish2
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Quote:
Originally posted by KalebsMommy:
[qb] Hey there everyone! i have been a member for a while now but havent been on in about a month. these past weeks ive been totally stressed out.

for a little background on my baby's life story....
Kaleb was born on 9/1/05 and he was healthy. is was the biggest blessing i have ever experienced. His father...(is black and has been arressted 6 times for drugs, robbery, and assult....and is manic depressive bipolar and has been hospitialized numerous times in the past few months...and has never seen my son) we were ordered to go to court for a DNA test in march....the father didnt show. 3 weeks after...the cops picked him up and he was ordered to take the DNA test....and what do you know he IS the father...(not like you couldnt tell that by looking at my son)

i have just recieved the papers saying we have to go to court for child support and custody...which isnt a problem...i think that i am ready for it...but since i havent seen the father in over a year and our relationship ended HORRIBLY i am really nervous to see him. i am having really horrible dreams about seeing the father and him trying to take my son...and to top it all off...i talked to his mother a few times also and she just called me after a month of not speaking to me (last time we talked she wanted to take my son for the weekend...i told her that i wasnt ok with that and she got angry and hasnt called since) so she called me tonight and said that the father of my son wants to talk to me and see me and my son.

our court date is only like 2 weeks away and i want to wait to talk to him and see him till then...i feel that the court will give me a little security to hold back the harsh words that i have to say to him.

i dont want to see him at all but since i have to....i gotta do what i gotta do you know...but i feel that because of his past i need to see him and talk to him before he sees my son...is that bad? i just dont want to expose my son to him if he is on drugs or mentally unstable.

also i wanted to know if anyone knows what happens at these kind of court dates??? is it going to be an all out battle???

thanks for listening and i hope that you can help in some way....and if there are any of you that have anything personal that you would like to add...please dont hesitate to drop me a private message...i need all the help that i can get!

thanks again!

callie [/qb]
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Old 06-20-2006, 11:01 PM   #6
weareirish2
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Sounds like my situation. My daughter is a few days older than your boy, who is adorable, by the way, and she and I have a Protective Order on her dad. He has been a part of her life until a couple of months ago when I left to protect us both from any more abuse. He truly sounds like a duplicate of the man you describe. My advice to you is this: Do NOT talk to him or his family for ANY reason whatsoever! They are not your problem! Do not feel guilty about that and show up to court with strength and do not let them get to you. Try your best to get supervised visitation and hopefully you can have documentation of some of his history of drugs, mental, etc. Sounds like you should have no problem based on what you say with him being hospitalized and things like that! It is possible in cases of past abuse, that you may not even have to see him in court. They can do everything keeping you seperate from him. If that is not the case, don't worry! You'll do fine! TRY for supervised visitation! Do NOT let them talk you into his mom being the middle man for you! H--- NO! Use a program where he has to pay hourly and a sherriff supervises the visitation or something similar to that. You can do it! Do not give in! If this man is not stable, you don't want your baby around him unsupervised, anyway! Hope it goes good for you! I should be getting a court date to do the same thing soon, so I can definately relate!
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