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Old 11-11-2004, 07:21 PM   #1
britty04
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Im 25 weeks pregnant with my first child. I'm white and his father is black. My family isn't open to "race mixing" as they would call it. This was hard for my parents to accept, my father inparticular. I was wondering if there are any others with families like this that eventually changed their minds and loved the child anyway? I'm afraid that my son will have to grow up in a family where no one will accept him. I don't want him to be treated and different or loved any less. If there is someone out there that has been through this before please reply. I could use all the advice or encouragement anyone has to offer.
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Old 11-11-2004, 08:07 PM   #2
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Hi brittany,
My younger sister has 3 kids now. Our dad, their grandfather used to have fits that she dated black men since high school but over time he has mellowed out about it. At first, with her oldest he had a few comments of his own as well. But he does absolutely adore her kids, his grandkids, and there are no acceptance issues.
Best wishes
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Old 11-11-2004, 08:46 PM   #3
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Thats very reassurring. I just know that its gonna be hard for him growing up. He is gonna know that he is different. There is only one other mixed child in the family. And like I said, his father isn't really around and I can't teach him about his black heritage. I don't want to keep that from him or hide it. I just don't know that much about it myself because I'm white. I just want his life to be as easy as possible. And I don't want unnecessary predjudice from his family to be a problem.
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Old 11-12-2004, 02:14 AM   #4
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I have a biracial son who is the light of my life, however unlike you this was never a problem for my family. I do have a cousin who had part Asian children and her parents were horrified and tried to have him deported when she told them she was marrying him. My grandfather said to them wait until you are dangling your grandchildren on your knee. He was right as soon as the baby was born they changed and they love their grandsons.
My son is part maori (native New Zealander) and his Dad does not visit. Here they have pre-school that is called Kohanga Reo and we go to that 2 or 3 times a week. It is total immersion in the maori language and gives Haydn a chance to learn about his culture. I really wanted Haydn to understand his culture and like you felt that I didn’t know enough. I am useless at learning the language but am getting there. Are there any groups that you could get involved in that would let your child get exposure to his black heritage? When I went a long I explained that I felt inadequate at providing Haydn a grounding in his culture and they have been really supportive.
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Old 11-12-2004, 04:00 AM   #5
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brittany

my mother sort of had a disapproval of my dating a woman of asian decent. but we did marry and had my daughter. my mother fell in love with my daughter first sight and shows nothing but love for her.
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Old 11-15-2004, 06:12 PM   #6
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My mother and grandfather were both very racist people at the time they found out I was pregnant with a black man's baby. But they came around, how could they not love someone who is part of their family?

As for your son having a hard time growing up... maybe not, more and more people are "race mixing" as your family called it. It's not very uncommon anymore to have biracial children. Even in my generation biracial children aren't treated as outcasts.
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Old 11-15-2004, 06:44 PM   #7
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I have two bi-racial daughters and I have found that even the most racist of people cannot resist a baby. And if they can their hearts are so hardened that I would not want my kids around them anyway. As for being able to teach the child about their culture, you can't. Going to preschools and schools that are mixed helps alot. I happen to have a best friend and many other friends who are black and have children also which helps my kids in that area. I also go to a inter-denominational, multi-cultural church and that has been one of our greatest assets! Their dad's family is just plain country and I have come to learn that that is a culture in itself!

Good luck. Don't worry, just wait until they see that precious face, they will start singing a different tune. If they don;t you can start singing "Hit the road Jack!"
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Old 12-05-2004, 01:36 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by britty04:
[qb] Im 25 weeks pregnant with my first child. I'm white and his father is black. My family isn't open to "race mixing" as they would call it. This was hard for my parents to accept, my father inparticular. I was wondering if there are any others with families like this that eventually changed their minds and loved the child anyway? I'm afraid that my son will have to grow up in a family where no one will accept him. I don't want him to be treated and different or loved any less. If there is someone out there that has been through this before please reply. I could use all the advice or encouragement anyone has to offer. [/qb]
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Old 12-05-2004, 01:41 PM   #9
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Hi! I came accross this site when I was doing some research. I'm actually not a single parent at all, but I am a woman who is biracial. I thought it might help you to hear my families story. When my mother got pregnant for my oldest brother my grandfather and grandmother were very against it. They are Slovaks, right off the boat, and wanted my mother to marry a slovak boy. My mother was scared, told them, and my grandpa, who is a strong Roman Catholic, told her to have an abortion! But she didn't. My mother went through with having my brother, married my dad, and had my other brother and me. My grandparents saw what they were missing. I mean mixed babies are beautiful!! And they came around. Now, out of 7 grand children I'm their favorite. I've spent more time with them than any of my cousins and brothers. Your family will come around. Just let them know how you feel, and tell them that this is going to be a special child, and that you would really love them to be a part of its life. When they lay eyes on your baby, they will totally change their mind. My grandparents did! And they come visit me at college all the time, we have spent every Sunday together, and they love me very much!!! Good luck with the baby!
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Old 01-24-2006, 12:13 AM   #10
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Hey there...i just wanted to drop you a line and let you know that you are not the opnly woman out there with this problem...

i got pregnant by my ex who was black and i had the hardest time telling my parents. i knew that they wouldnt approve..my father is totally racist and my mom said that i shouldnt date or sleep with black people but i can have them as friends. when i told them that i was pregnant they had their worries. they were very very mad at first and tried their hardest to prevent the birth from happening. i went through all the long..emotional talks...horrible racist comments and everything else horrible that you could think of...and in the end when they saw my son...they both melted. i couldnt of asked for better...more supportive parents. my dad plays with my son and keeps pictures in his wallet and even on his desk at work. he loves him more than i could ever imagine he would. and my mother is the same way. i cant believe how different they were when he was born. so even though it is hard right now...it gets so much easier. and people do change...a baby can change how you look at the world. just keep that in mind...i hope my words helped you even a little bit

Quote:
Originally posted by britty04:
[qb] Im 25 weeks pregnant with my first child. I'm white and his father is black. My family isn't open to "race mixing" as they would call it. This was hard for my parents to accept, my father inparticular. I was wondering if there are any others with families like this that eventually changed their minds and loved the child anyway? I'm afraid that my son will have to grow up in a family where no one will accept him. I don't want him to be treated and different or loved any less. If there is someone out there that has been through this before please reply. I could use all the advice or encouragement anyone has to offer. [/qb]
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Old 01-24-2006, 12:23 PM   #11
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Well, I am going to post something a little unorthadox this time.

In today's society we are just starting to get over the controversy of different colors or nationalities. I want to ask a question, do you care if your lover is a different religion or not?

A few hundred years ago religion ruled the world. If you were a different religion then someone, most likely you were at war with them at some point in time and were mortal enemies. Society eventually grew up and learned to cope with the diffferences in people's beliefs, but still people preached that "Thou shall not kill" as a commandment yet holy wars were created to force people to believe in their religion, talk about being a hippocrit. Why am I mentioning this, because of the point I am about to get to that might help ease your way of thinking about your problem.

People for some reason fear that which is different or unknown. It doesn't matter that we all have red blood, live under the same sun and moon, drink the same water, or have the same anatomy. People for some reason what to feel better then their peers, being equal doesn't feel right to society. In the next 50 years or less Black or White won't make a difference anymore, beause society is going to start judging a whole new different group of people.

About 10 years ago a scientist cracks the human genetic code, which means that in the near future they will be able to learn what flaws a specific person has genetically based upon their blood line. What does this mean? Well, if the world was a perfect place it would mean that people could get help for genetic diseases and live what most people consider a normal life. But looking back at the evolution of humanity, lets be honest for a moment. We are looking at people being discriminated for their genetic code. Black or White like religion is to us now will become meaningless, as long as you are part of the genetically sound group you will be considered part of the important society. The real question is not whether we shall do this or not, but why will we do it.

You family will soon forget about racial matters because the future of discrimination is close. We are at the end of one bad cycle and about to begin a whole new cycle. Guess my news is not much help because there is a huge down side to all this, but it might help with being upset about have a white and black child.

Glenn
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Old 01-24-2006, 03:49 PM   #12
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There is a cultural arts center here in Nashville. I looked in your area through google and found this site:

www.oldschool.org
Old School Square Cultural Arts Center is a nationally recognized historic preservation project, thanks to the determination of a local group of citizens who saved the 1913 Delray Beach Elementary and 1925 Delray Beach High School buildings from demolition. Over $7 million was raised to restore and renovate the facilities, located in the heart of downtown Delray Beach. Now a National Historic Site and Florida Cultural Institution, the four acre center is a testament to the role of the arts in downtown revitalization.

Perhaps this can help you both learn about your baby's heritage when the baby gets older.....
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Old 02-13-2006, 12:08 PM   #13
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PS see my little mixed son with his whale. haha
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Old 02-13-2006, 12:08 PM   #14
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So I was watching PBS the other day. It's black history month and I am fascinated with geneology. They are at a point now with science where a swab of your inner cheek can tell genetecists what percent European, Sub-Saharan African, North African, South African, Asian, Indian blood in you. Guess what???? Not one person that they have tested is 100% one race. Everyone is biracial. We are all people.
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Old 08-15-2009, 06:37 PM   #15
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Default Re: My unborn son is biracial.

Well my dad iz Filipino and my mom iz Black. So when my mom had her 1st child, my grand-parents (on my father side) didnt wanna have nothing to do with her 1st child (wich was my big brother) but when he was born they accepted him and loved him verry much even if he wasnt fully Filipino ^^ and my grand-parents luv all of us today so they were able to accepte it and loves us even if we were bi-racial.
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Old 08-16-2009, 12:30 AM   #16
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I know that my ex’s family wasn’t incredibly excited for her to marry into a black family like mine. But it’s something we worked at together and once we were all able to see each as a family unit and start communicating mind’s started opening up to the fact that it’s just a color….
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Old 05-19-2010, 01:53 PM   #17
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Default Re: My unborn son is biracial.

Hey Britt

I am 8 wks pregnant and I am white and the dad is african. I can understand alot of your concerns. I was lucky with my family and they are all very accepting, but the father of the baby has walked away from the picture. I can understand you wanting to make sure that your child knows about thier culture. I applaud you for that. I am the same way. Doing everything I possibly can to make sure I will be able to let this child know where they come from and to be proud of who they are. best of luck to you.
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Old 05-19-2010, 02:25 PM   #18
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Default Re: My unborn son is biracial.

I believe once the baby gets here they will look past the race thing. Your son with be their grandchild and that should be the only that matters. Their maybe a slight distance between your family and child's father but I think they will adore your son.
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Old 05-19-2010, 03:00 PM   #19
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Yes, I do believe that once the baby is here he will be accepted; it would really take active hatred to ignore the beautiful gift of a baby regardless of color especially when he is related to you. Try to relax about it and enjoy your pregnancy, your family and the baby when he comes. Your family can turn out to be your best support system.
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Old 05-19-2010, 04:00 PM   #20
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Quote:
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your family can turn out to be your best support system.
agree!!!
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Old 08-23-2010, 01:49 AM   #21
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Default Re: My unborn son is biracial.

I have 4 children who are all biracial. I am white and my parents were the same way. They never had a problem with me having black friends, but when it came to dating the s**t hit the fan. When I became pregnant with my first child I went through a lot. I had to stay in a shelter as I got kicked out of the house and my parents were very upset. I will tell you that once my son was born everything changed. My mother would have done anything for my kids and she loved them so much. Now on the other hand my extended family basically disowned me to this day. Keep the faith! If you had a good relationship with your parents before this chances are that things will change once you have your son. Good luck!
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Old 09-04-2010, 03:02 PM   #22
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Default Re: My unborn son is biracial.

I have biracial twin boys. I'm white and thier father is black. At first my family was not accepting of the situation, but as soon as they were born that all changed. And I havent had any problems with the community, and i live in a small southern town. If anyone asks if they are mixed, don't get defensive about it, and people will be accepting toward you no matter how racist they may be. The only comment my boys receive is about how gorgeous thier skin color is. Remember, biracial children are the most beautiful children and if anyone makes a rude comment to you, they're probably jealous.
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Old 09-26-2010, 07:42 PM   #23
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Default Re: My unborn son is biracial.

I am pregnant with a biracial baby...a boy actually, we found out last week. My boyfriend is half black, Argentian and white and I am white. I have no worries with my family, thankfully. They were very accepting when they found out, my dad was even commenting on what beautiful skin this baby would have. My boyfriend though doesn't have any family members except his daughter. Everyone is really excited. I have never yet really been witness to any racism...I do wonder if I will with my son in the future. But I won't worry myself about it. I want to enjoy my pregnancy and then my baby with my other children and boyfriend around.
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Old 03-19-2013, 09:09 AM   #24
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Default Re: My unborn son is biracial.

my family was very close minded and made racist comments growing up all the time. I am white my sons father is black. My whole pregnancy they made comments about if he will have black features , his lips etc. right away i put an end to those kind of comments, probably not in the best way..i was pregnant and a little emotional. racism bothers me a lot though so i flew off the handle!
Anyways after my son was born I mean they all just fell in love, they are great grandparents and love him dearly.
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Old 07-03-2013, 12:04 PM   #25
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Default Re: My unborn son is biracial.

I am mixed as mixed can be. I'm Filipino but my grandmothers on both sides are half-Spanish and I also have Chinese blood on my mother's side. I have friends who married whites, blacks, hispanics... and their children came out beautiful!
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Old 01-21-2014, 12:51 AM   #26
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Default Re: My unborn son is biracial.

Don't worry at first they may be skeptical but eventually they will get over it. It's sad and I don't know why even till this day there are so many people against interracial dating and children, but as soon as they see that cute little child I'm sure they will warm up to them.
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