Wild Dancing Thanksgivng Turkey Almost 10 months and counting - Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices
All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!
         


Go Back   Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices >
(``'·.¸(``'·.¸ Relationships¸.·'´´)¸.·'´´)
> Mentally Unfit Other Biological Parent Support


~ Donate Today ~ PLEASE
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-01-2013, 03:20 PM   #1
Virgo69 Female
A Cuddly Porcupine

 
Virgo69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: pennsylvania
Posts: 1,179
Rep Power: 143
Virgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an Angel
Default Almost 10 months and counting

Here come the holidays and we are at 10 months since my gal has seen the idiot's mother.

Our last visit was at the end of February 2013, which was actually our Christmas visit for 2012. Gma was too busy with her other grandchild and her idiot son I guess to see my gal in December or January.

Since that visit we had one phone call in July to wish my gal a happy birthday, but my gal didn't want to talk to her.

Then, not a peep until the end of October, and that was an email. I'm sure the ditz doesn't remember that I don't have internet at home so I only get online here and there. She was requesting a visit with two days notice. She does have my phone number, but I don't think she called. At least I didn't see her on the caller id.

I called her knowing that she was probably out of state visiting the other grandchild and left her a brief voicemail that I had not seen her email until after the fact so she should call me if she would like to arrange a visit.

I don't think I really need to call her again. I understand sometimes people don't get their messages, but this sporadic contact has been an ongoing thorn in my side since my daughter's birth. I have always said if she wants to see her all she has to do is ask. I've never denied her a visit.

Wondering how many more months I let go by before I flat out tell the gma to just shove off entirely? Probably won't have to worry about it anyway. And I know in my heart of hearts there is no point in wasting my breath uttering the words and it won't do any good anyway.

I have advised so many others here time and time again that it is better to zip the lips then blow your top. But I kinda want to just close this door now, rather than let it linger ajar for years on end and with the holidays coming I may or may not have to field that decision. Knowing her apathy we won't have Christmas until April 2014.

For those who don't know my story, the gma has another grandchild who she flys to see regularly...and does really cool stuff with when she is here visiting which is also often, far more often than she sees my gal who is less than 10 miles away.
__________________
Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them - Richard L. Evans
Virgo69 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2013, 03:24 PM   #2
LSL Female
The blunt one;)


 
LSL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Somewhere on the left coast
Posts: 11,334
Rep Power: 411
LSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Almost 10 months and counting

I would close it off if I were you. She has shown almost zero initiative. There is no reason to allow that. I have one of those "supposed" grandmothers..... I have made it clear she could see my daughter at any time. She stated a number of years ago that she "could not see her face to face due to your lies about my son." Uh - huh. Okay, your choice. She sends gifts with pathetic cards with cryptic notes twice a year. I thought about cutting those off and refusing acceptance of the packages, but, in the end, decided it doesn't hurt a thing.

If I had someone like your situation, at your daughter's age, I would just shut the door. Causes too much stress and it is not fair on your little one.
__________________
“If your expectations aren’t to be the best, then… you know, nobody rises to low expectations.” - Chip Kelly, coach of Oregon Football.
LSL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2013, 03:38 PM   #3
Bluemoon Female
just an old hippie chick

 
Bluemoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In the Mountains
Posts: 8,583
Rep Power: 363
Bluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Almost 10 months and counting

I agree with LSL...there is no point in continuing. There is no relationship being nurtured, it's just her doing the absolute minimum possible to be able to tell herself that she is seeing her kin.

At 10 miles away there is no excuse for 10 months with no attempt to see her.
__________________
Never grow a wishbone, Daughter, where your backbone ought to be. Clementine Paddleford


To disagree, one doesn't have to be disagreeable. ~Barry M. Goldwater and Jack Casserly, Goldwater


Life is all about how you handle Plan B. ~ off a Blue Mountain Arts calendar
Bluemoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2013, 03:52 PM   #4
Virgo69 Female
A Cuddly Porcupine

 
Virgo69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: pennsylvania
Posts: 1,179
Rep Power: 143
Virgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an Angel
Default Re: Almost 10 months and counting

Quote:
Originally Posted by LSL View Post

If I had someone like your situation, at your daughter's age, I would just shut the door. Causes too much stress and it is not fair on your little one.
Little one actually isn't stressed. Never really bonded with her. Enjoys when she does see the gma, but doesn't ask to see her or bring her up. The stress is really more on me. I am sick of seeing the one grandchild being made a priority and mine being left in the dust. Not that it is anything new, just resurfacing because of the holidays.

---------- Post added at 02:52 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:51 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluemoon View Post

At 10 miles away there is no excuse for 10 months with no attempt to see her.
Took the words right out of my mouth.
__________________
Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them - Richard L. Evans
Virgo69 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2013, 05:34 PM   #5
LSL Female
The blunt one;)


 
LSL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Somewhere on the left coast
Posts: 11,334
Rep Power: 411
LSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Almost 10 months and counting

Right - stress is on you NOW. Stress will be on little one when she is old enough to make the tie that you have. Believe me. I know.
__________________
“If your expectations aren’t to be the best, then… you know, nobody rises to low expectations.” - Chip Kelly, coach of Oregon Football.
LSL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2013, 05:55 PM   #6
muskiedad Male
the one who babbles

 
muskiedad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: ontario
Posts: 6,125
Rep Power: 305
muskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Almost 10 months and counting

When she is older and recognises the favouritism of one grandchild over the other it will be an issue for her. I agree....why keep the feeble contact alive. She can change her ways if it is important to her.
muskiedad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2013, 06:26 PM   #7
Virgo69 Female
A Cuddly Porcupine

 
Virgo69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: pennsylvania
Posts: 1,179
Rep Power: 143
Virgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an Angel
Default Re: Almost 10 months and counting

oh by the way, to clarify, the other grandchild is from her daughter.... mine is from her son... to my knowledge the idiot hasn't produced a half sibling with anyone.
__________________
Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them - Richard L. Evans
Virgo69 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2013, 08:04 PM   #8
Alejandra
Setting New Standards
 
Alejandra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: USA - right side
Posts: 925
Rep Power: 187
Alejandra has a brilliant futureAlejandra has a brilliant futureAlejandra has a brilliant futureAlejandra has a brilliant futureAlejandra has a brilliant future
Default Re: Almost 10 months and counting

Just noticing, and chuckling over the name of this forum: "Mentally Unfit Other Biological Parent Support"
__________________
"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel." -- Homer J. Simpson


If the fetus you save is gay, will you still fight for its rights???


"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." ~William Gibson
Alejandra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2013, 10:32 PM   #9
momofTDR Female
Marja

 
momofTDR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Pocatello, Idaho
Posts: 1,392
Rep Power: 144
momofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With Support
Default Re: Almost 10 months and counting

I agree completely with the others. cut the contact if at all possible. No reason to keep that up. It's like my kids grandparents on dads side. 5 miles away, open door, have contact info and can go 6 months and never see them, or consider 5 minute hellos at church sufficient. The kids notice now...my daughter has mentioned it at 12.
__________________
Well, it seems once again you're caught between a rock and a crazy place. ~Leonard, BBT~
momofTDR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2013, 12:12 AM   #10
Virgo69 Female
A Cuddly Porcupine

 
Virgo69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: pennsylvania
Posts: 1,179
Rep Power: 143
Virgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an Angel
Default Re: Almost 10 months and counting

The good news is we wouldn't run into the gma other then if she was at the gpa house over the holiday for some reason to do with the other grandchild. They are divorced and the gpa has been consistent with his participation, if anything has even increased the frequency a bit.
__________________
Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them - Richard L. Evans
Virgo69 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-25-2013, 11:12 PM   #11
Virgo69 Female
A Cuddly Porcupine

 
Virgo69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: pennsylvania
Posts: 1,179
Rep Power: 143
Virgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an Angel
Default Re: Almost 10 months and counting

Well, Christmas Day is just about in the books and no contact from the gma. Of course, that is no surprise. The good news is that it didn't bug me.
__________________
Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them - Richard L. Evans
Virgo69 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2014, 04:47 PM   #12
Virgo69 Female
A Cuddly Porcupine

 
Virgo69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: pennsylvania
Posts: 1,179
Rep Power: 143
Virgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an AngelVirgo69 Has Heart and Soul of an Angel
Default Re: Almost 10 months and counting

Just an update on this. The gma tried to call me the other day. I didn't respond. I got sprung with a surprise guest when the gpa was dropping my gal's things off the other day that she forgot.

My gal didn't like the strange man and now she can find her phone? Of course I know its associated with him and not her interest in seeing her grandchild. So now I have to decide what to do....

I say ignore... what is the point of letting the discussion potentially go emotional....
__________________
Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them - Richard L. Evans
Virgo69 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2014, 05:33 PM   #13
muskiedad Male
the one who babbles

 
muskiedad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: ontario
Posts: 6,125
Rep Power: 305
muskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legendmuskiedad Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Almost 10 months and counting

Ignore.......they can always call back and be persistent if req'd. Then you deal with that.
muskiedad is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Resources: youngrobin.com
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Counting down the hours titansmommy Custody - Visitation 4 07-19-2009 09:57 PM
Counting my blessings teacherk Ex's 11 06-12-2009 10:36 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:19 PM.

Some parent places to visit:
A Single Parents
Parent Arium
Solo Parents
Single Parent Personal Ads



Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SoloParent
Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SingleParentsInformation
Powered by vbulletin

All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!

A Community for single parents, step parents and blended families

Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.