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Old 08-02-2007, 06:27 AM   #1
Dadviser
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My ex and I have had a rocky relationship from the start. I abused alcohol and she abused drugs and even after our daughter was born, she continued to use them. Eventually I cleaned up my life, but not before leaving her and my daughter for several years.

Nearly two years ago I got back into my child's life and moved back to where she lives so I could be a full time father. For the first year, things were great. Then I attempted to get back together with my ex because I wanted to have my family together (she has two other children that call me dad). Soon after, she began using drugs again and things have been downhill ever since.

Recently, we went through custody mediation and I was awarded joint custody, but she lost her job and was kicked out of her home and took herself and the kids to a shelter where they have been for the past two months or so. Since that time, my daughter who spent every single day with me, all of a sudden stopped wanting to be around me and hasn't talked to me in weeks. From my ex's sister, I am hearing that she has been trashing me to the girls and possibly telling them that I'm doing drugs (which I DO NOT).

I'm really at a loss for what to do right now. I love all three of the girls with all my heart and just want to help raise them and it's hurtful to have my own daughter (almost 11) tell me to go away and that she doesn't want me around anymore. The worst part is that I know I have not done anything wrong but can't convince a child of that, especially when she won't let me talk to her.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? The only thing I can do right now is give her space and let her come to her own conclusions, but I have no idea how long that could take and I'm not thrilled to be without her as it is. Any advice would be well appreciated.
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Old 08-02-2007, 06:27 AM   #2
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My ex and I have had a rocky relationship from the start. I abused alcohol and she abused drugs and even after our daughter was born, she continued to use them. Eventually I cleaned up my life, but not before leaving her and my daughter for several years.

Nearly two years ago I got back into my child's life and moved back to where she lives so I could be a full time father. For the first year, things were great. Then I attempted to get back together with my ex because I wanted to have my family together (she has two other children that call me dad). Soon after, she began using drugs again and things have been downhill ever since.

Recently, we went through custody mediation and I was awarded joint custody, but she lost her job and was kicked out of her home and took herself and the kids to a shelter where they have been for the past two months or so. Since that time, my daughter who spent every single day with me, all of a sudden stopped wanting to be around me and hasn't talked to me in weeks. From my ex's sister, I am hearing that she has been trashing me to the girls and possibly telling them that I'm doing drugs (which I DO NOT).

I'm really at a loss for what to do right now. I love all three of the girls with all my heart and just want to help raise them and it's hurtful to have my own daughter (almost 11) tell me to go away and that she doesn't want me around anymore. The worst part is that I know I have not done anything wrong but can't convince a child of that, especially when she won't let me talk to her.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? The only thing I can do right now is give her space and let her come to her own conclusions, but I have no idea how long that could take and I'm not thrilled to be without her as it is. Any advice would be well appreciated.
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Old 08-02-2007, 03:13 PM   #3
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If she is doing drugs theres probably no need to offer to help her with money. The child probably is mad because of having to live in a shelter and what she is being told. have you offered to keep the girls until the mother finds a job and can get on her feat. or would she veiw this as trying to take her kids. sometimes there is no way not to come across as bad dad. is there a way to help her too sometimes to help one you have to help all. tough situation, good luck
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