Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices
    

Go Back   Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices >
(``'·.¸(``'·.¸ Tips, Tricks & Ideas ¸.·'´´)¸.·'´´)
> School & Work Life > Campus Single Parents

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-18-2010, 12:51 PM   #1
momofTDR
Marja

 
momofTDR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Pocatello, Idaho
Posts: 1,392
Rep Power: 139
momofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With SupportmomofTDR Is Rocken These Boards With Support
Red face Some people are ignorant and caught me

on a BAD day!

So, I'm in another group, like this one, only for Christian parents....most of them are stay at home moms....and working moms, but there are only a handful of single parents. One gal is single, lives in canada, has 3 kids is wanting to go to school. I guess, if I understand correctly, they can't work part time and get school money other than loans, it's either all aid....or all done on your own with loans. Well, She was just thinking aloud, trying to decide what to do....where two different moms said basically using aid is cheating those who work and not fair....work it's the only way to do it and be "in the right". I took issue....I'm in a grumpy mood anyways....and so they got an earful.

This is what I said:

"Well, I think this would definitely be a downfall of the Canadian system. I can get help to pay for my schooling, I have a bit of a loan, but not the full amount, and I work part time and I get help with my food costs. That doesn't generally give me tons of money to go blow all the time. I don't have a fancy car, I rent an icky apt. from icky landlords, my health care coverage is so-so. But, if I had to try to raise 3 kids by myself, and work enough hours to pay for all my own expenses plus go to school on loans that I had no guarantee I'd even be able to pay back when the time comes, I'd have to opt for doing what is guaranteed....a job making enough to make ends meet most of the time, and remain in that rut. I guess it's all a matter of perspective. I don't take advantage of the system here, I don't believe. My parents worked their whole working lives, contributing to "the system" and that left no money to save for us kids to go to school. What little money was ever available to me by them, was given when I was married....therefore, I saw little to none of it, and what I did see, was never given to me with the option of what to do with it.

I guess it's a matter of perspective. I have been in the position of a SAHM, I have been married, I have been seperated, without a job, searching for one, when no one will hire you because being a mom is "worthless" as far as they are concerned. Sometimes, your left with little to no option. I couldn't even get a job as a receptionist because they wanted to know when the last time I 'worked full time was'. Talk about a crush to your character, moral beliefs and a realization that the world outside my homes walls was as harsh and unforgiving as it was inside.

All that being said. I don't think anyone should be allowed to stay on any kind of aid to support them long term. I think if they are working to better themselves and their family, then that's fine, as long as they are succeeding. Why should the government (of any country) help to pay for school for someone who is barely getting C's and not trying to get better? Same rules should apply as if I were paying for my kids schooling.....your there for a reason. Do it, and do it well. If you have no ambition to go to school and work your tail off....don't waste anyone's money! If you don't plan on taking what you need as far as aid is concerned and nothing more, then do it, use it and plan to be a contributing citizen when your able, but don't waste the working worlds money on you "going to school" and receiving aid for the next 10 years because you can.

There is not a way on this earth I could work more hours than I already do while I'm in school. None. My schooling this fall will be from 8:00 am to 2:30 pm everyday except Tuesdays when it will last till 6:00 pm. None of that is anything fun. I don't have family who can take care of my kids and feed them dinner. Their dad is working to being there more for them, but he hasn't been thus far. I can't go work in the evenings because 1. when would I study to maintain my grades...and 2. who would watch my children that didn't eat up every penny I made? I've been blessed to be able to watch Roberts dd which helps a bit and I can work on homework and other motherly things while she's here. I have been blessed to have a job cleaning with a friend that I set my own hours to a degree....I can take my kids with me to work if necessary. I am grateful for these things and I know I couldn't have done it without them.

And, yes, I know some people work like 30 hours a week and go to school part time...and that's all good and great for someone who has someone else to fall back on if someone in the family gets hurt and medical costs rise and you have to quit school for a while. It's great for someone who doesn't have to get out of the position of going to school and all that it entails to be able to adequately support their family....time is of the essence. I don't have 8 years to get a BS, my kids depend on me and will need me to be in a position to be able to support them before they are 18.

In America, you get more money back than you pay into taxes if you live near the poverty level....I could be content to get an $8000 bonus each year of my life paid for by the other tax payers if I wanted to....I am not a complacent person."


I guess it is just that ignorant people who haven't been there, done that....irritate me. And if you irritate me, you'll get an earful!
momofTDR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2010, 12:55 PM   #2
LSL
The blunt one;)


 
LSL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Somewhere on the left coast
Posts: 11,334
Rep Power: 406
LSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Some people are ignorant and caught

I don't blame you one bit! And honestly, it's not much different in this country. If you are on TANF, that is cash assistance, you cannot attend school...you HAVE to find a job or risk being cut off. So really, its no different.
__________________
“If your expectations aren’t to be the best, then… you know, nobody rises to low expectations.” - Chip Kelly, coach of Oregon Football.
LSL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2010, 01:03 PM   #3
AamyluvroN
Lively & Zealous Parent
 
AamyluvroN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 574
Rep Power: 104
AamyluvroN has a brilliant futureAamyluvroN has a brilliant futureAamyluvroN has a brilliant future
Default Re: Some people are ignorant and caught

Quote:
Originally Posted by LSL View Post
I don't blame you one bit! And honestly, it's not much different in this country. If you are on TANF, that is cash assistance, you cannot attend school...you HAVE to find a job or risk being cut off. So really, its no different.
WOW!! I did not know that. when you say can not attend school are you saying can not receive grants for school or you can not attend school at all?
AamyluvroN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2010, 05:54 PM   #4
sgray1
Parent on Board
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: South Florida
Posts: 150
Rep Power: 93
sgray1 is a glorious beacon of lightsgray1 is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: Some people are ignorant and caught

Quote:
Originally Posted by LSL View Post
I don't blame you one bit! And honestly, it's not much different in this country. If you are on TANF, that is cash assistance, you cannot attend school...you HAVE to find a job or risk being cut off. So really, its no different.
That may be so in some states, but in others, as long as you are going to school OR working more than 20 hours a week, you get TANF, food stamps, and health insurance.
__________________
Opportunity merely knocks; temptation kicks down the door.
sgray1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2010, 06:14 PM   #5
Bluemoon
just an old hippie chick

 
Bluemoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In the Mountains
Posts: 8,583
Rep Power: 358
Bluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Some people are ignorant and caught

Quote:
Originally Posted by sgray1 View Post
That may be so in some states, but in others, as long as you are going to school OR working more than 20 hours a week, you get TANF, food stamps, and health insurance.
Huh. I personally get nothing. For my son I get the least type of medicade...and I have to work 30 or more hours but make less than minimum wage in those 30 hours to get it...it's very confusing....

Still agree with you Momoftdr...those women do not know of what they speak....
Bluemoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
My son caught me in the act...what do i do now? perpetualma Dating & Relationships 9 09-02-2005 08:36 AM
Need to vent, ignorant people anyasmom 30 - Something Single Moms 15 08-15-2005 11:55 AM
How ignorant?????? Teen Mothers 27 09-13-2004 09:39 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:31 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.