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Old 11-08-2016, 10:41 AM   #1
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Default new single dad advice help companionship

Hello, I am an upper 40's single dad going thru something I never expected, a custody battle with his mother, whom doesn't want to be friends, and has turned this into
a battle I guess. I would love some advice, some friendship and companionship,
lower Westchester location and appreciate all the help , support and advice that can be offered, and I will promise to do the same
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Old 11-08-2016, 04:32 PM   #2
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Default Re: new single dad advice help companion

Often people draw "battle lines" hoping the other will back down. So make sure you cover yourself legally and know where you stand. Sadly, these things often become adversarial. However, regardless of what she says or does, never bad mouth her to the kids......take the high road. Come here to vent and blow off steam if necessary, for exs have a way of frustrating us. Just don't let young eyes see it.
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Old 11-08-2016, 04:55 PM   #3
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Default Re: new single dad advice help companion

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Originally Posted by muskiedad View Post
Often people draw "battle lines" hoping the other will back down. So make sure you cover yourself legally and know where you stand. Sadly, these things often become adversarial. However, regardless of what she says or does, never bad mouth her to the kids......take the high road. Come here to vent and blow off steam if necessary, for exs have a way of frustrating us. Just don't let young eyes see it.
Thank you for the care and concern, I have no ill feelings, and only want whats best for our son, but it doesn't seem to reciprocate as far as the ill feelings I guess, but im not in her head, I just want things to be ok, and I wouldn't even mind bringing her a coffee and bagel in the morning when I pick him up, it just doesn't seem to go the other way, but thank you again,
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Old 11-08-2016, 08:24 PM   #4
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Default Re: new single dad advice help companion

In my own experience it seems "kindness" is akin to weakness in some ex's eyes....so what you think is a nice gesture (i.e. coffee/bagel) she prob views as a bribe.
My ex and I barely spoke for a long time......time does help but so does a realisation that it is truly about kids.
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Old 11-08-2016, 09:35 PM   #5
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Default Re: new single dad advice help companion

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Originally Posted by muskiedad View Post
In my own experience it seems "kindness" is akin to weakness in some ex's eyes....so what you think is a nice gesture (i.e. coffee/bagel) she prob views as a bribe.
My ex and I barely spoke for a long time......time does help but so does a realisation that it is truly about kids.
AMEN to that
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Old 11-13-2016, 10:54 PM   #6
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Default Re: new single dad advice help companion

I don't think most people expect a custody battle in the beginning. But from my time in the forum I have seen that there is usually alot of very raw emotion that takes time to work through and some people figure it out and some don't.

Regardless, I think the most important thing for you to keep in mind is that and pardon me for my statement is going to sound rather cold, but here goes...who cares how she feels? How does your child feel. I saw on your profile that he is just 6 months old so you are going to be putting up with this for a very long time. I would be very careful to be amicable without being foolish.

As those who have come before you here they say document, document, document. And as much as they try to avoid having to go to court or lawyer up, often that is what happens in the end. I think it is fantastic to see a parent want to stand up and be involved whether it is the father or the mother since being an idiot isn't limited by the sex of the parent. And yes, cooperative co-parenting is the end goal.
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