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Old 05-20-2009, 02:09 PM   #1
miss_killin
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Default Should I leave?

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years off and on now. We fight constantly over everything. He does whatever he wants, goes to bars, dinners, car shows, while I am at home with the baby. He has no interest in doing anything as a family. He curses at me and makes me feel worthless all the time. When it comes to the baby, when he does actually take a feeding for me, he props the baby somewhere with the bottle. The other night I came out from bed because the baby was crying and he had him laying face down on the couch hitting his back as to burp him, and he had thrown up all over the couch. I asked why he did that to him and he said he wouldn't f-in burp. Another day I went for a haircut and came home to find my son in his swing with the bottle propped in his mouth. My boyfriend was in the back of the house doing his hair and getting ready to go out, and left my son with a pit bull in the other room. He had eaten almost the whole bottle without being burped and got sick and the hiccups. When my son is hungry, he puts his hands up in front of his mouth to comfort himself, a completely normal thing infants do. My boyfriend gets mad and slaps him hands and says he's doing it on purpose so he can't get the bottle in his mouth. When he cries he says he's a *b* and a sissy and yells at him to stop. He is 12 weeks old! We got in a fight one night and I went to leave. He told me I couldn't and blocked the front door. I went out the back and he stopped me at my car, attacked the arm I had my keys in, forcing me to drop the carseat to the ground. Ended up ripping one of my nails off so low it was bleeding. Last night we were arguing and he went to leave as usual and I went to follow him out the door, he pushed me back with the baby in my arms. I am afraid something will happen to my son if I do not get him out of there, and I don't think him listening to screaming every other day is good for him. My boyfriend tells me all the time to get out and he doesn't want to be with me. That he's an a-hole, and will always be. That he isn't going to change, he's going to do what he wants when he wants. He refuses to go to counceling or read counceling books because he doesn't want anyone telling him what's wrong with him. There are some good times between us, and I do love him. When do you know you have reached that level to leave? I will have to change my life if I leave. Move into my moms in another city, quit my job due to the distance, try to find new insurance for my son. I just don't know what to do.
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Old 05-20-2009, 02:40 PM   #2
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Default Re: Should I leave?

I find this very disturbing. First I am not perfect. My wife and I did argue, and I said things I regret. For him to treat his own kid like this is beyond belief, and points to anger issues. This is only going to get worse, and your son is going to pick up on these bad habits. Break the cycle, and find a healthy environment. Yes its going to be hard.
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Old 05-20-2009, 02:48 PM   #3
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Default Re: Should I leave?

I agree, it is not the easiest thing to do, but go! right now! pack your things and leave while he is not at home. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL...DO NOT TALK TO HIM for at least a month. Do not listen to anything he says and tell your family not to talk to him either. He is goint to try and sweet talk you into going back, don't. You can do this, beleive me. You will be in my prayers.
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Old 05-20-2009, 03:04 PM   #4
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Default Re: Should I leave?

Should I leave?

YES! ASAP! I'm really sorry, I know it's hard and it hurts, but by what you have said I feel you need to get yourself and your child away from that environment immeadiately. It WILL get worse, your son could get badly hurt. You don't want to have to try to live with the guilt you would feel if that happened. Be grateful you have a Mom you can go to. Shelters are full of women in your position who don't. BTW: most states have free health insurance for qualifying (low income) children, so don't let that hold you back!
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Old 05-20-2009, 03:23 PM   #5
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Default Re: Should I leave?

Yes it does hurt. I've wanted nothing but to have a happy family, I grew up in a split home with multiple step fathers. I have tried everything I can to make this work, and if not for myself I have to do this for my son. Thank you for your help
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Old 05-20-2009, 03:45 PM   #6
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Default Re: Should I leave?

Sometimes it just takes another voice to let you know you are thinking the right thing. Let us be that voice, go, NOW!
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Old 05-20-2009, 07:49 PM   #7
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Default Re: Should I leave?

Quote:
Originally Posted by miss_killin View Post
When do you know you have reached that level to leave? I will have to change my life if I leave. Move into my moms in another city, quit my job due to the distance, try to find new insurance for my son. I just don't know what to do.
The first time he put his hands on you was the time to leave. Sounds as if this behavior is going to esculate to the point where he is really going to hurt you. The best thing you can do is to move with mom and get out ASAP. I am so disturbed on so many levels by this post. 1) that this guy would treat you that way; but 2) that he would be so very neglectful of a 3 month old child. My stomach hurts from reading that.

Let me tell you, I deal with jackbutts like this in my job all day long. Sounds as if he has a mental conditionl with definate narcassitic and anti-social features. You can't reason with guys like this. Things are only going to get worse.

Please get out while you can, and while you and your wonderful little son has not been too hurt. Run and don't look back.
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Old 05-22-2009, 05:38 PM   #8
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Default Re: Should I leave?

I agree with LSL get out. Your son is number one. Its hard on your own but Im one that can say that if I did it you can to.
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Old 05-22-2009, 07:15 PM   #9
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Default Re: Should I leave?

OMG...I just read this thread. I hope you are in the process of getting OUT of this situation ASAP. His treatment of the child ALONE should be reason enough to get out, but his horrible treatment of you should have you running for your life. Literally. He seems the type to snap. Don't be there when he does.
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Old 05-23-2009, 06:08 PM   #10
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Default Re: Should I leave?

you dont even need permission!
everyones given great suggestions... I say

Run, as fast as you can, he is dangerous!
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Old 05-27-2009, 04:13 AM   #11
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Default Re: Should I leave?

He is abusing you and your son!!

"Run, Forrest, RUN"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and please go thru the "Domestic Violence" thread. Should give you strength to make your move.
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Old 05-27-2009, 07:28 AM   #12
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Default Re: Should I leave?

Leave now...he is teaching your son how to treat women, and the cycle will continue of you don't stop it.
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Old 04-13-2010, 11:40 AM   #13
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Default Re: Should I leave?

I know it's hard, but you need to leave him alone. I was in a bad situation like this with my son's father. It only got worse & worse. I put up with it on and off for 5 yrs but 2 straight years. After the last thing I went through with him I'm done now I will never even look at him the same. I know there is always that thought in the back of your mind that it's not that bad & there are guys doin worse. But just please remember to ALWAYS put your KIDS 1st no matter how much you love the person. =)
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Old 04-19-2010, 05:39 AM   #14
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Default Re: Should I leave?

This is sad. This post is from almost a year ago, she only has 2 posts and calls herself Miss Killin....

I actually couldn't read her post past the bit where she says he put the baby face-down on the sofa hitting him on his back to burp him, I found it too disturbing.....

Miss Killin, please come back and give us an update!! We are here for you!!
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Old 03-23-2011, 04:01 PM   #15
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Default Re: Should I leave?

I was punching bag for husband. Now I am single mother of two daughters with no support from husband, only my family who have little and my b/f. Still better to be single mother than punching bag. I work very hard for daughters, and still not enough, but very proud of them, and proud of myself.

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Old 04-06-2011, 08:25 PM   #16
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Default Re: Should I leave?

Miss Killin,
I truly hope that you left. If not, hopefully your situation has become better. As was previously said, it is much better to start over than to remain in an abusive situation. If your baby's dad behaves that way when you are in the house, you should be very worried about leaving them alone together.
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Old 04-07-2011, 08:56 AM   #17
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Default Re: Should I leave?

Um, you are going to have to change your life or perhaps not even be alive if you do NOT leave. Get out and get out fast. The disrespect he is showing is not even remotely excusable. I agree that couples argue, but physical is a line that is not allowed ever. You can debate where a verbal argument line crosses into leaving, but I agree with everyone on here who said the moment he did anything physical to you or your child you needed to make plans to get out.
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Old 03-19-2017, 05:35 AM   #18
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Default Re: Should I leave?

OMG, PLEASE tell me you have left him! Get out before he does something horrible to your son! What he's done is extremely abusive already...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T LET IT PROGRESS
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Old 06-29-2017, 10:50 PM   #19
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Default Re: Should I leave?

My advice to ladies out here in same situation. If your relationship does not make you happy anymore and so with the physical and emotional hurting then you should not think twice at all. Go and just leave and move on! I'm sure, a good life is waiting for you out there.
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