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Old 03-19-2005, 11:09 PM   #1
mommy1
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Hi all, I am kind of new to this site, but I am glad I found this AP Posting. I realized when my son was about a year old that I was doing attached parenting. It might be b/c I live with my mother and am somewhat influneced from her parenting skills and she did AP with me and my brothers as well. But I am very glad I chose this route b/c I feel so close to my son and I feel that a baby in a new world should just be snuggled ever so close all the time....except when mommy needs to go potty and would like that time alone!! That is the issue I am coming to. I do not want to de-tatch myself from my son but sometimes I would like those little times to myself and being in school now and having a lot of homework I need a little room to move. Also I am thinking of doing child care, just b/c it is becomin such a struggle to survive and I need to go back to work so I have to do the child care thing or choose btwn work or school and...well you know, its hard. But I am scared to leave my little guy, and I think that b/c we are so attached it may be so difficult to get him to stay.
I started a gym membership and took him to the little day care, 3 days in a row, after the 15min cry session they came and got me. He was hysterical the whole time. And then I feel guilty and think, I want to do AP b/c this is my baby and I gave up my life to have him so I should be the one to suffer and struggle not him... I dont know any advice??>>>>
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Old 04-01-2005, 09:58 PM   #2
NatD
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I have a son who will be 2 in May, I've also "practiced" AP. (don't know how else to word it) I think the best way to help your son convert to a daycare setting is to go through it SLOWLY Start out leaving him with someone he knows (a family member/close friend..someone he sees on a regular/semi regular basis) for short periods of time. Go for a walk around the block if that's all you feel comfortable doing at first. Then try going grocery shopping without him or to a movie....maybe even work up to leaving him for a day with grandma? Before leaving him in daycare, if that's the route you end up going, ask if they'll let you bring him to play ...and you stay. Try that for for a short while for a couple days..let him get used to the people there along with the comfort of MOMMY I've just started this with my son because I'll be going back to school in Sept and he'll be in full time daycare. I leave him something of mine (one of my hair scrunchies) ...he wears it around his wrist I think that makes him feel a little better. He's to the point where he can stay a full day/night at Grandma's house without me...and will stay with one of my friends for a couple hours. So things are getting better. Good luck with your son and I hope these tips help ya out a little.
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Old 04-02-2005, 02:23 PM   #3
Dew
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I'm not sure what attachement parenting is exactly.

I do believe a very big part of my role as a parent is to teach my son how to become autonomous (is this a word ?). To teach him how to live without Mommy. Step by step.

Leaving him at the gym's day care might have been too big a step at one time. Still, don't give up. Don't give in. Of course he wants to stay with Mommy, but that doesn't mean he cannot be perfectly happy without you once he's comfortable with the environment/the people.

Maybe those times there were too many other kids ?
Is he used at all to staying with other kids ? I mean WITH you ? That would be another preliminary step.
What I am trying to say is the same Nat is saying really, go slow. But go forward.
Try to give him a little extra challenge at each step, and then keep it at that level for a week or 2, then another little challenge.
And the most important thing is that he feels that YOU are comfortable with leaving him there, and also that you are DETERMINED to do it.
My son still cries when I leave him with a babysitter. But it's a show, and he knows I don't give in, I never did, and he always stops crying the moment I am out of sight.
Good luck, it's one of the hard things especially for the parents.
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Old 03-25-2006, 09:33 PM   #4
Victorian
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this post is from forever ago, but I had a suggestion...

With my two year old I decided to do a nanny share with two other AP moms of two year olds. We pay about the same as a childcare center, but there is only 3 children so lots of one on one attention, we are all on the same page about CIO and TV time and they really "know" the nanny and one another.

You might try posting on your local area, like newspaper, nanny service, and the likes .

HTH.

Victorian
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