Wild Dancing Thanksgivng Turkey Another form of abuse - Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices
All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!
         


Go Back   Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices >
(``'·.¸(``'·.¸ Single Parenting - Through The Ages¸.·'´´)¸.·'´´)
> Attachment Parenting


~ Donate Today ~ PLEASE
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-04-2010, 04:56 PM   #1
alexmichele07 Female
Sparkles & Glitter

 
alexmichele07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Home
Posts: 1,824
Rep Power: 201
alexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Support
Default Another form of abuse

A friend of mine posted this on her facebook... it's amazingly powerful and I had to share it.

http://womanuncensored.blogspot.com/...t-her-cry.html
alexmichele07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2010, 08:06 PM   #2
comingup4air Female
Putting my child first...

 
comingup4air's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Eastern MA
Posts: 3,519
Rep Power: 194
comingup4air Is Rocken These Boards With Supportcomingup4air Is Rocken These Boards With Supportcomingup4air Is Rocken These Boards With Supportcomingup4air Is Rocken These Boards With Supportcomingup4air Is Rocken These Boards With Supportcomingup4air Is Rocken These Boards With Supportcomingup4air Is Rocken These Boards With Supportcomingup4air Is Rocken These Boards With Supportcomingup4air Is Rocken These Boards With Supportcomingup4air Is Rocken These Boards With Support
Default Re: Another form of abuse

Wow. I read it. Just wow.
comingup4air is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2010, 12:38 AM   #3
LSL Female
The blunt one;)


 
LSL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Somewhere on the left coast
Posts: 11,334
Rep Power: 410
LSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Another form of abuse

That was incredible. And validated in a logical way, exactly why I did not do that to my A.
__________________
“If your expectations aren’t to be the best, then… you know, nobody rises to low expectations.” - Chip Kelly, coach of Oregon Football.
LSL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2010, 09:48 AM   #4
Bluemoon Female
just an old hippie chick

 
Bluemoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In the Mountains
Posts: 8,583
Rep Power: 361
Bluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Another form of abuse

I did not do cio with my kids either, and I was heavily criticized for it. Still am. My attitude of not letting him cry till he could cry no more (when he was an infant) is often blamed for him being the way he is today. Poppycock, I say!
I don't believe you can spoil an infant. I don't think you have to run and pick them up every time they utter a peep, but if they cry for more than a few minuets, IMO, they need you to help them with something...even if it's just to make them feel secure.
Now, toddlers are a slightly different story cause toddlers will cry when they are mad, they will do it to get their way about things that aren't real needs...and if it works then they learn a bad way to get what they want, but that doesn't mean you have to banish them from your presence for it (though a time out may be in order). It just becomes like "Tell me what you want and I'll give you what you need". Lol.
Very thought provoking blog. Thanks for posting it.
__________________
Never grow a wishbone, Daughter, where your backbone ought to be. Clementine Paddleford


To disagree, one doesn't have to be disagreeable. ~Barry M. Goldwater and Jack Casserly, Goldwater


Life is all about how you handle Plan B. ~ off a Blue Mountain Arts calendar
Bluemoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2010, 11:17 AM   #5
lyndz7 Female
Setting New Standards

 
lyndz7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,037
Rep Power: 148
lyndz7 has a reputation beyond reputelyndz7 has a reputation beyond reputelyndz7 has a reputation beyond reputelyndz7 has a reputation beyond reputelyndz7 has a reputation beyond reputelyndz7 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Another form of abuse

wow that is a great blog....very interesting!
__________________
I just want to find a fish who isn't afraid of my dark chocolate layer... and of course he'd have to love my cookies too.
lyndz7 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2010, 02:06 PM   #6
Alejandra
Setting New Standards
 
Alejandra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: USA - right side
Posts: 925
Rep Power: 185
Alejandra has a brilliant futureAlejandra has a brilliant futureAlejandra has a brilliant futureAlejandra has a brilliant futureAlejandra has a brilliant future
Default Re: Another form of abuse

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluemoon View Post
I don't believe you can spoil an infant.
Exactly! My son's pediatrician said that to me on his very 1st visit "you can't 'spoil' an infant". Too bad they don't all advise new moms of that.
Alejandra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2010, 02:33 PM   #7
alexmichele07 Female
Sparkles & Glitter

 
alexmichele07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Home
Posts: 1,824
Rep Power: 201
alexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Support
Default Re: Another form of abuse

Quote:
Originally Posted by LSL View Post
And validated in a logical way
I know, right?! It's really hard to put into words why letting a child CIO is wrong on so many levels, when so many "old school" parents enforce it as the right thing to do.

I've never heard or seen it said better than this.
alexmichele07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2010, 04:40 PM   #8
idig Female
SFV JUNKIE!!!

 
idig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Alabama
Posts: 6,665
Rep Power: 306
idig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Another form of abuse

I didn't do it with M and was criticized too. I never bought into the whole self soothing thing, but do doubt myself about it now and then. My son still has trouble going to sleep and still comes and gets in my bed sometimes. I worry sometimes I didn't allow him to learn to soothe himself.

Very interesting blog and point of view.
__________________
Sure as night will follow day. Most things I worry about. Never happen anyway. ~ Tom Petty
idig is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2010, 05:46 PM   #9
Bluemoon Female
just an old hippie chick

 
Bluemoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In the Mountains
Posts: 8,583
Rep Power: 361
Bluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Another form of abuse

Quote:
Originally Posted by idig View Post
My son still has trouble going to sleep and still comes and gets in my bed sometimes. I worry sometimes I didn't allow him to learn to soothe himself.
This is an area in which I am very bad...in almost anyone's opinion.
I remember as a child I would be put to bed very early (it was often still light out for a long time), and expected to just go to sleep.
I couldn't. No way. I still can't. I remember laying there hour after hour, usually scared (I've always been scared of the dark...still am) and my imagination would just run wild and terrify me. Sometimes kept me awake all night.
So, I cannot bring myself to do this to E. I let him watch a video in his bed at night and he is usually asleep within minuets.
When I was married, my husband wouldn't allow a TV in the bedroom. He wouldn't let me read in bed, either. As a result, I layed there for hours and hours....eventually I just went and layed on the couch so I could watch TV after he fell asleep. With the TV on I couldn't keep my eyes open.
Now, I heard a thing the other week that said that ANY light at all is very bad when you are sleeping...that it makes it impossible to get to a certain stage or kind of sleep that's really important...but I think that's hogwash.
I know many people who cannot tolerate light at all when they are trying to go to sleep (like my X) but I think it's an individual thing. I sleep like a baby...as long as I either read myself, or TV myself to sleep.
BTW: my mom did cio, no matter what. In fact, if she saw your face after she put you to bed you would sure wish you had faced the boogieman instead!
__________________
Never grow a wishbone, Daughter, where your backbone ought to be. Clementine Paddleford


To disagree, one doesn't have to be disagreeable. ~Barry M. Goldwater and Jack Casserly, Goldwater


Life is all about how you handle Plan B. ~ off a Blue Mountain Arts calendar
Bluemoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2010, 10:08 PM   #10
LSL Female
The blunt one;)


 
LSL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Somewhere on the left coast
Posts: 11,334
Rep Power: 410
LSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Another form of abuse

Quote:
Originally Posted by idig View Post
I didn't do it with M and was criticized too. I never bought into the whole self soothing thing, but do doubt myself about it now and then. My son still has trouble going to sleep and still comes and gets in my bed sometimes. I worry sometimes I didn't allow him to learn to soothe himself.
If he was crawling in your bed every night, you might have a point [as mine does....]. Seriously though, getting in your bed every once in a while is a natural response. Enjoy, because he will stop eventually. But what is this an indication of? Like any other human, he wants comfort when something is on his mind and it races at night. If we were married, we would likely turn into the arms of our spouse. I remember when I had something heavy on my mind when a was a baby, I would go in her room and lay by her crib, just to be near her. Just so I did not have to be alone. Just so I could hear her. Wasn't about being soothed necessairly, it was about finding comfort.

My A self-soothes all the time. Strange thing really. She still has a blankie. When she is upset, she curls on the couch with it and picks up the corner on that blanket she has since she was 2, and begins to rub it between her fingers, back and forth, round and round. She calms right down.

When A was a baby and would cry, I didn't always have to pick her up. I would rub the back of my hand on her cheeks, up and down---she was soothed and would go right back to sleep.

I was not a CIO person. Someone told my sister to do this with B and I about came unglued. I said that that defies all the rules of baby bonding with your child. Babies do not cry just because. They cry because of pain, they need comfort, they are scared, they are hungry, they are cold, they are wet----there is some need that is not being met and they are trying so hard to make you aware of this need. To ignore it is down right cruel.
__________________
“If your expectations aren’t to be the best, then… you know, nobody rises to low expectations.” - Chip Kelly, coach of Oregon Football.
LSL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2010, 10:40 PM   #11
idig Female
SFV JUNKIE!!!

 
idig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Alabama
Posts: 6,665
Rep Power: 306
idig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legendidig Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Another form of abuse

Til puberty hit full force he slept with me every night from the time he was an infant until just a few months ago, (spring-ish). My "sometimes" is probably an understatement. It is at least a time or two a week when he does at 12 1/2 now.

I never could let him cio. I tried 2 times because my ex was so adamant about it and the doctor backed him up. The second time I did he cried for 4 hours straight. I never did it again. He would go to sleep by himself, but he would get up and get in the bed with me. He never, ever, not once, slept through the night as an infant and only slept well sleeping with me. I don't worry about it most of the time. He is otherwise a healthy, happy kid. But I do wonder if I made him too....dependent on sleeping with another person. Heck, maybe some kids just come hardwired that way, IDK.

I do know he is not easy to sleep with. He talks in his sleep and tosses and turn. Steals the covers.

My daughters both did the cio after a certain age with their kids and their kids don't like to sleep with anyone. They want their own beds. Sure they like to snuggle and K (the 4 year old) has gotten in the habit of waking up and crawling in bed with someone ( her mom, her great aunt, her great grandma, me when she is here) in the wee hours of the morning.

IDK, I totally disagree with letting an infant cio. I mostly agree that it is ok for them to sleep with you when they are older, but must admit I have times when I doubt if that was what was best for him in the long run.
__________________
Sure as night will follow day. Most things I worry about. Never happen anyway. ~ Tom Petty
idig is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2010, 10:46 PM   #12
LSL Female
The blunt one;)


 
LSL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Somewhere on the left coast
Posts: 11,334
Rep Power: 410
LSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Another form of abuse

Yeah, but the sleeping with you every night is a boundary thing anyway. I need to set them with my daughter, but figure why? Not like anyone else needs that side of the bed. And I kind of like her there with me. A is a cover hog, but otherwise, sleeps sound [as long as I am there], and doesn't talk in her sleep. She doesn't wiggle much either. She pretty much stays in the same position all night. I am surprised she can sleep in my bed. I have restless leg syndrome and am in constant motion at night. But sleep she does.
__________________
“If your expectations aren’t to be the best, then… you know, nobody rises to low expectations.” - Chip Kelly, coach of Oregon Football.
LSL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2010, 01:17 AM   #13
alexmichele07 Female
Sparkles & Glitter

 
alexmichele07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Home
Posts: 1,824
Rep Power: 201
alexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Supportalexmichele07 Is Rocken These Boards With Support
Default Re: Another form of abuse

I wish my baby would sleep with me It makes me sad that he never wanted to.

He's very independent, has never liked to be rocked, and doesn't like to cuddle. When it's bedtime, he wants a bottle in his own bed, and for me to close the door and leave. Yes, my 1.5 year old has a bottle. And yes, I let him have it in bed. I don't care - it's what he wants. He can have it till he's 4 if that's what he wants and that what comforts him.

Would I prefer he let me cuddle and rock him to sleep? ____ yeah! But he kicks and hits and cries and fights until I put him in his own bed with the bottle. So it's CIO or give him the bottle. Guess what - he gets the bottle.
alexmichele07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2010, 04:50 PM   #14
Bluemoon Female
just an old hippie chick

 
Bluemoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In the Mountains
Posts: 8,583
Rep Power: 361
Bluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Another form of abuse

E is horrible to sleep with. Like M he steels covers, wiggles and flops, wakes up and messes with the kitties (no wonder they don't want to sleep with him) and, well, he hasn't talked in his sleep lately to my knowledge though he did at one stage, but he drools like a fountain.
He doesn't sleep with me very often, but after he comes back from Dad's I usually allow it for a few days. Now, after 2 days I'm leaning towards him and his TV again. I'm exhausted...little feet in my back, elbows in my ribs...but what a sweet thing when he says, "Mom, we can spoon!"
__________________
Never grow a wishbone, Daughter, where your backbone ought to be. Clementine Paddleford


To disagree, one doesn't have to be disagreeable. ~Barry M. Goldwater and Jack Casserly, Goldwater


Life is all about how you handle Plan B. ~ off a Blue Mountain Arts calendar
Bluemoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2010, 05:50 AM   #15
Marielle
Board Beacon Parent
 
Marielle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 760
Rep Power: 0
Marielle is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Another form of abuse

Great article! Thanks for posting.
Marielle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2010, 11:35 PM   #16
mamabear87
On the Board
 
mamabear87's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: GA
Posts: 89
Rep Power: 0
mamabear87 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Another form of abuse

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluemoon View Post
This is an area in which I am very bad...in almost anyone's opinion.
I remember as a child I would be put to bed very early (it was often still light out for a long time), and expected to just go to sleep.
I couldn't. No way. I still can't. I remember laying there hour after hour, usually scared (I've always been scared of the dark...still am) and my imagination would just run wild and terrify me. Sometimes kept me awake all night.
So, I cannot bring myself to do this to E. I let him watch a video in his bed at night and he is usually asleep within minuets.
When I was married, my husband wouldn't allow a TV in the bedroom. He wouldn't let me read in bed, either. As a result, I layed there for hours and hours....eventually I just went and layed on the couch so I could watch TV after he fell asleep. With the TV on I couldn't keep my eyes open.
Now, I heard a thing the other week that said that ANY light at all is very bad when you are sleeping...that it makes it impossible to get to a certain stage or kind of sleep that's really important...but I think that's hogwash.
I know many people who cannot tolerate light at all when they are trying to go to sleep (like my X) but I think it's an individual thing. I sleep like a baby...as long as I either read myself, or TV myself to sleep.
BTW: my mom did cio, no matter what. In fact, if she saw your face after she put you to bed you would sure wish you had faced the boogieman instead!
I agree. I am the same way and always have been. Thats why I grew up as one of those kids that had a night light and book under my bed and read under the covers till I fell asleep. I still do at times. Each person (and child) is different and you have to find what works for your kid and not just force them to do what everyone else thinks should be done. Now I will say, I do let Ash cry herself to sleep to an extent. If she is crying for more then 5-10 min I will check on her and if she continues after I check on her twice I will put a movie on for her or music, then she goes right out. But I only do this now because she uses the crying to get attention so that she wont have to sleep (there have been times where I havent let her cry for 5-10 min and checked and I was in there over and over but once I let her go 5 min she was out by the time I got to the room). When she was 12 months and younger I would sometimes stay in the room with her till her eyes got heavy just singing and reading to her. This usually kept her from cryin. But I think to let them cry till they fall asleep at less then a year is not right at all. In my opinion it is showing them that you dont care about them except when you want them awake.
mamabear87 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2010, 12:05 AM   #17
Dad1st4boys Male
Failure is not an Option.

 
Dad1st4boys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Western Plains area
Posts: 7,567
Rep Power: 301
Dad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportDad1st4boys Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Support
Default Re: Another form of abuse

I have always and still do read myself to sleep. My boys have the same habit . I have a rule that bed time is 1/2 hour before lights out. Most nights the boys fall asleep reading and I have to follow up when I get off shift and shut off lights. They need the quiet time to wind down. I have ever let them cry themselves to sleep as infants or babies. The ex would have to leave when they got to crying a lot, I always felt I needed to be near because her reactions.
Dad1st4boys is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2010, 02:02 PM   #18
SingleMom123 Female
Board Blazen Parent
 
SingleMom123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 426
Rep Power: 106
SingleMom123 has a brilliant futureSingleMom123 has a brilliant futureSingleMom123 has a brilliant futureSingleMom123 has a brilliant future
Default Re: Another form of abuse

I never did cio with my son. I was described by a phychologist one time as being very "empathic" meaning it is easy for me to put myself in others shoes and feel what they are feeling. With my baby boy, this is so much more so then usual, it was impossible for me to do the CIO method with him. I could just imagine what is was like for him, laying there helpless, scared, alone, wanting desperately to feel loved, to be held, and to have the one person in his life who cares for him ignore him? No, I couldn't do that to him. There were a couple of times I had to walk away for a couple of minutes to gather my wits, but that was all it was, a couple of minutes. Then I came back to him and held him. I couldn't finish the article becuase it was going to make me cry. That was EXACTLY as I say my son when he was a baby. I could never ever do anything like that to him, could never do anything like that to any child.
SingleMom123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2010, 02:24 PM   #19
smalltownmom Female
On the Board
 
smalltownmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Alberta
Posts: 81
Rep Power: 97
smalltownmom is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: Another form of abuse

My youngest son woke up 6-8 times a night until he was nine months old. I was going insane with no sleep. What I did was kind of like CIO but not, I don't think. I would let him cry for five minutes, then go in and calm him down, let him know I was there give him his soother and cover him up and then I would walk away. Then let him cry for six minutes and come back.

I only did this once after a friend had recommended it. And I think he only got to about seven minutes before he fell to sleep and after that he had a normal sleeping pattern. He would still get up during the night, but only once or twice and each time I would wait to see if he was just fussing or needing attention. Because he slept in the same room as me I could just call out and let him know that I was there and he would sometimes go back to sleep.

However, I don't think that I could ever let my child cry until they puked or for several hours.
smalltownmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2010, 04:18 PM   #20
SingleMom123 Female
Board Blazen Parent
 
SingleMom123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 426
Rep Power: 106
SingleMom123 has a brilliant futureSingleMom123 has a brilliant futureSingleMom123 has a brilliant futureSingleMom123 has a brilliant future
Default Re: Another form of abuse

Quote:
Originally Posted by smalltownmom View Post
My youngest son woke up 6-8 times a night until he was nine months old. I was going insane with no sleep. What I did was kind of like CIO but not, I don't think. I would let him cry for five minutes, then go in and calm him down, let him know I was there give him his soother and cover him up and then I would walk away. Then let him cry for six minutes and come back.

I only did this once after a friend had recommended it. And I think he only got to about seven minutes before he fell to sleep and after that he had a normal sleeping pattern. He would still get up during the night, but only once or twice and each time I would wait to see if he was just fussing or needing attention. Because he slept in the same room as me I could just call out and let him know that I was there and he would sometimes go back to sleep.

However, I don't think that I could ever let my child cry until they puked or for several hours.
My son also woke up about five times a night until he was like about 10 months old or so. But it wasn't a big deal because I breastfed and co-slept. When he woke up I just flopped out a ____ and stuck it in his mouth. He sucked away and I fell back to sleep. Breastfeeding is da bomb!

sorry if you didn't though, that had to have been the pits.
SingleMom123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2010, 04:37 PM   #21
littlefoot_223 Female
Board Beacon Parent
 
littlefoot_223's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: washington
Posts: 782
Rep Power: 114
littlefoot_223 has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Another form of abuse

I breast fed both of my children, my son I could sleep and nurse, my daughter I could not. There were times that I had to let her cry just so that I could get a break. but I never let them cry for more that 15min. and I was always checking on them.
__________________
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning , the devil says, "OH ____, SHE'S UP"!
littlefoot_223 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-22-2010, 05:24 PM   #22
Marielle
Board Beacon Parent
 
Marielle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 760
Rep Power: 0
Marielle is an unknown quantity at this point
rass Re: Another form of abuse

Quote:
Originally Posted by SingleMom123 View Post
My son also woke up about five times a night until he was like about 10 months old or so. But it wasn't a big deal because I breastfed and co-slept. When he woke up I just flopped out a ____ and stuck it in his mouth. He sucked away and I fell back to sleep. Breastfeeding is da bomb!

sorry if you didn't though, that had to have been the pits.
So true! Reading that brings it all back to me, cos I was the same, just pop out a ___, blissful! Yes, breastfeeding is da bomb!! ;-)
I did it for a year and two weeks, by which time I was so thin I had to quit, he literally took it all out of me (combined with a trauma I was going thru at the time, having left an abusive situation with his dad).
Marielle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-22-2010, 07:03 PM   #23
Bluemoon Female
just an old hippie chick

 
Bluemoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In the Mountains
Posts: 8,583
Rep Power: 361
Bluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Another form of abuse

Quote:
Originally Posted by littlefoot_223 View Post
I breast fed both of my children, my son I could sleep and nurse, my daughter I could not. There were times that I had to let her cry just so that I could get a break. but I never let them cry for more that 15min. and I was always checking on them.
Mine was the opposite. My daughter, I could take her anywhere and I never got more sleep and rest than I did when she was little and nursing.
E (my son) on the other hand....woof. I still don't think I have recovered from the draining he gave me as a baby. I don't mean the nursing, I mean the CONSTANT discontent.
Bluemoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-23-2010, 12:10 AM   #24
Mum2One Female
On the Board
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 83
Rep Power: 0
Mum2One is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Another form of abuse

I think later on I would let my DS cry for a little, but it really didn't happen often at all. I can not really remember it being an issue or a policy. But I was 100% hands on (and also criticized for it) so I suspect he just had all of his needs met before he was in bed for the night.
My former step-daughter however was an entirely different case. Once she came to live with us for a while, and after we had full custody, things were so much better, but I remember hearing how she would scream until she vomited. The excuse was that she did it for attention, well, if a child will make themselves vomit for attention, YOU AREN'T GIVING THEM ENOUGH!!!!
In my humble opinion of course
Mum2One is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Resources: youngrobin.com
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:06 PM.

Some parent places to visit:
A Single Parents
Parent Arium
Solo Parents
Single Parent Personal Ads



Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SoloParent
Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SingleParentsInformation
Powered by vbulletin

All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!

A Community for single parents, step parents and blended families

Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.