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Old 04-27-2007, 08:30 PM   #1
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What do you all think of it?

I co-sleep, probably will for a while because my daughter simply isn't ready for her own bed yet.
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Old 04-27-2007, 08:38 PM   #2
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My kids don't give me a choice. but it is hard for me to sleep with the 3 of them.

If it works for you go for it.
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Old 04-27-2007, 10:18 PM   #3
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When I was pregnant, I always so adament that I would never co-sleep.. However, My little Carolena had a plan of her own. Since day 1 we've been co-sleeping. She absolutely refused to sleep anywhere else (Crib, Bassinet, Bouncer, Swing, Car seat, Co-sleeper.. You name it.. didn't work). She is now 3 months and I love co-sleeping.. I honestly think I'd miss her like crazy if she slept in her crib now.. She needs me, and I need her.
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Old 04-28-2007, 12:30 AM   #4
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I have a 6 month old that I currenlty co sleep with. At 3 months I decided it was time for her to be in her crib and i spent the whole time awake, lying in my bed a lone listening to her breathe. I wasn't ready to let her go. Now though it's a different story and i am ready for her to be in her crib (her sleeping is interupting my sleeping). So, if it works for you it's great (especially if you're breastfeeding -it makes it so easy). But if it's not working it's time for a change.
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Old 04-28-2007, 03:26 AM   #5
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OK, Ian, is almost 5 now...He slept a lot in my bed when he was breastfed (in the night as well), just because that was easier for me, and we both love it.
Looking back...that was certainly one reason he never learned to sleep through the night until he was 1 year old. But then again..didn't have all those choices, since his bed was in my bedroom anyways (we only had the one bedroom).

I don't think it's bad in any way, especially if your child is afraid, or other good reasons. The only thing that's hard, is when it becomes a habit, to break the habit. And after 2 or 3 nights in a row, for the child, it's already a habit.

So, I'll say that I love it when my son wants to sleep in my bed, but I don't want him to think this is 'his place to sleep'. It remains an exception.
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Old 08-27-2007, 03:04 PM   #6
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I co-sleep with Kai. Have since she was born. Of course, she has her own bed but since it's not really that big of a problem and I'm more working on potty training now anyway, it can go a little longer. It's kind of nice though having a little heater in bed with me. Saves on the heating bills. LMAO
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Old 08-27-2007, 03:26 PM   #7
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bug....your precious....ray man
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Old 08-27-2007, 03:28 PM   #8
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Hey I try. LMAO I dont think co-sleeping is a bad thing but I do think it's going to be hard to break. More for me than her I think. I hate to admit this but I dont want to sleep alone. that's part of the reason I'm prolonging this. I dont sleep well when she's in her own bed
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Old 08-27-2007, 04:42 PM   #9
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My girls co-sleep in my bed. Brenna my oldest hating her crib and basinett. She would only sleep right on my chest and that's how it started. When Bridget was born I swore that I she would sleep in her own bed. She did for a long time but now sleeps in my bed. I am actually in the process of breaking them of this habit.

Part of me can't wait to have my bed all to myself and the other part will miss not having them in it.
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Old 08-27-2007, 10:42 PM   #10
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I'm like many parents here, the co-sleeping started way back with the breastfeeding. By the time she turned four, I was concerned that I'd have a kid in my bed for the rest of my life! I started making deals with myself "Next birthday...After she gets a big girl bed...When summer starts..." But I kept making excuses to avoid efforts to kick her out of my bed. I can totally identify with not wanting to sleep alone. And I was totally avoiding the struggle that I knew it would be. But one day, a few months ago, she decided (all on her own) that she preferred to sleep in her own bed.
Whew!
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Old 08-27-2007, 11:06 PM   #11
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I always wondered about taping and amplifying the mothers heartbeat for babies that had sleep problems,and see if they connect on a level that we have to think about but that they might understand....theories and questions......raymond
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Old 08-28-2007, 08:09 AM   #12
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Raymond, I think there's some research on that already but not sure.
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Old 08-29-2007, 06:02 PM   #13
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Jewel and I co-sleep most nights (of course this week she decided to sleep in her own room). It doesn't matter to me either way..I kind of like having her with me. If I were married, I may feel differently, but since I have no one else to share my bed with...why not??
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Old 09-03-2007, 03:44 PM   #14
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I feel the same way. My 6 month old sleeps with me most nights and I love it. I nurse her to sleep when she's fussy and get to cuddle all night long. Most of the time I put her in her crib in the middlw of the night so I can get a few good hours of sleep though becuase I do find myself just laying there awake all night enjoying the feeling of having her nestled up against me. She was going to bed on her own up until about 2 months ago but I missed her so I started letting her eat her last meal in bed and now I'm stuck on it! I love it!
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Old 09-18-2007, 02:14 PM   #15
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Yeah, I'm pretty not still not worrying about the co-sleeping thing. So far it's working for us and that's just how its going to be for now. I ignore people when the comment about it. She will go to her own bed soon, but for now, this works. Nothing wrong with that I guess.
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Old 11-13-2007, 07:56 PM   #16
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Oh there are benefits and problems on each side of the fence so ONLY you can decide. My children do both, sometimes they curl up with me and sleep, sometimes they sleep in their room (usually school nights). Now that they are older they sleep in their rooms more but usually not alone (Amanda and Lori will share Amanda's bed) so only I sleep alon on the coach anymore (too lazy to go to bed and can here them when they wake up better).

My children hate sleeping in their room but Lori tosses and turns like you wouldn't beleive so I never get sleep with her with me. Now I don't sleep much, but when I do I want to actually sleep sleep without any problems.
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Old 11-14-2007, 01:58 PM   #17
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You can't do it when you take your child to see a therapist. How was it referred to? Oh, "There are some kooks out there who believe it's ok."
"It's not 'ok' in this culture." Yeah, well no-one is telling you the truth then, becuase you are a councelor.
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Old 11-14-2007, 03:00 PM   #18
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My oldest daughter nd son used to sleep with us occasionally if they had a nightmare or something. But when my husband passed away my daughter started having seperation issues and at night would cry hysterically if I tried to get her to sleep in her room. So I figured she's been through enough whats the harm besides I don't really like sleeping alone anyway. Her brother quickly caught on and joined us. My baby however sleeps in her crib goes to bed early and has no trouble. At least for now or probably till shes big enough to realize where her brother and sister are. The kids get a good nights sleep and dont have to be afraid. I don't see how this could be bad.
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Old 11-14-2007, 11:16 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by the sane one:
You can't do it when you take your child to see a therapist. How was it referred to? Oh, "There are some kooks out there who believe it's ok."
"It's not 'ok' in this culture." Yeah, well no-one is telling you the truth then, becuase you are a councelor.
You said it best when you mentioned the word CULTURE, how does society have the right to tell me how to raise my children? Society also says the world revolves around intercourse yet here I am still thinking soicety has the mental state of a 14 year old child!

Society can try and tell us what is good or bad, but I will listen to a dog before I trust society's judgement on anything that could affect my children. Society hasn't been right in centuries, so why start now?

Society is still fighting over people grouping themselves based on different pasts or ideas. The whole fact that society still allows word like minority to exist shows the lack of maturity! There is no minority, there is American or Alien! If you are an Alien, you have the choice to become an alien depending on the laws of our country that some idiots decide or vote on but for the most part Aliens are the ONLY minority in America!

So if you ever want to make an arguement that sounds intellectual, don't mention society unless they back the opposite ideal or else you will be fighting an uphill battle.

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I was bashing on you but I was really bashing on society. I feel strongly that people need to learn to think for themselves rather then be brainwashed into thinking society's way is the only way to live!
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Old 11-15-2007, 06:33 PM   #20
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Glenn the Survivor:

There is no minority, there is American or Alien!

QUOTE]

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Old 11-15-2007, 06:39 PM   #21
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My kid slept in my bed for about the first 4 years of his life - I breastfed him for just over a year, so it was easier - and he is a very well-rounded individual, and very independant! (He's now 16).
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Old 11-17-2007, 08:21 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by Glenn the Survivor:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by the sane one:
You can't do it when you take your child to see a therapist. How was it referred to? Oh, "There are some kooks out there who believe it's ok."
"It's not 'ok' in this culture." Yeah, well no-one is telling you the truth then, becuase you are a councelor.
Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I was bashing on you but I was really bashing on society. I feel strongly that people need to learn to think for themselves rather then be brainwashed into thinking society's way is the only way to live! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
By no means do I think you are bashing me. I was only quoting what these so called experts told me. Made me feel like I was a sexual predator or something. Made me feel like a freak. I agree with what you said. The way I see it, I consider outside advice, but it is up to me in the end what I decide to do. Except when I am court ordered to go to therapists about my daughter. I have to do what they say or have the judge be told that I am uncooperative.
It's just cause "society" is so scared of itself. Anything can be a cause to sue, so everyone thinks its safe to do things the way "society" wants. Oops. I going off into a rant.
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Old 11-29-2007, 09:21 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by HannahsBoy:
I don't run around telling everyone about it though. People are just weird and uninformed. And the so called "Experts" are even more F'd up and uninformed...sorry but my duaghter is not a text book child...she is she and she's mine.
It was my daughter who spilled the beans to her therapist. Now she feels like things changed because she had to open her mouth. It would have been time anyway, since I was pregnant with the new baby at the time.
I have often told her father that this is stupid, and its not us who is raising her anymore, it's the "system". I've had to resign myself to the fact. I had lots of plans for my little girl, that because of the evilness of her father have been halted. I'm just lucky I had the baby because she is going to benefit.
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Old 11-29-2007, 09:21 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by HannahsBoy:
I don't run around telling everyone about it though. People are just weird and uninformed. And the so called "Experts" are even more F'd up and uninformed...sorry but my duaghter is not a text book child...she is she and she's mine.
It was my daughter who spilled the beans to her therapist. Now she feels like things changed because she had to open her mouth. It would have been time anyway, since I was pregnant with the new baby at the time.
I have often told her father that this is stupid, and its not us who is raising her anymore, it's the "system". I've had to resign myself to the fact. I had lots of plans for my little girl, that because of the evilness of her father have been halted. I'm just lucky I had the baby because she is going to benefit.
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Old 11-29-2007, 09:58 AM   #25
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I co-slept with my second child but not my first. I was living with my parents when my first child was born and I was only 19, so I did what they deemed appropriate and kept her in a crib and ran up and down stairs and hallways to take care of her at night.

With Braeden, well my pregnancy was so stressful I just wanted to enjoy every minute I had with him instead of worrying. One day shortly after coming home from the hospital he and I fell asleep on the couch (which I still thank God nothing bad happened) and I slept better and so did he than we had in days. So I pulled his bassinet in my room that night. It just gradually moved to where he was sleeping with me even though we bottle fed. He and I co-slept for the longest and he never wanted to go back to his crib.

I kept trying when he was getting big enough that a twin bed was too much for a squirmy baby and Mom. Once I got my Queen sized bed that was over, he stayed all night in bed again. I think he was 2 before he started sleeping most of the night in his crib and then waking about 4 a.m. to come to my bed. He actually learned to climb out of his crib and climb in my bed.

Now he and my daughter share a room instead of he and I. He goes to bed most nights begging to sleep in Sis's bed (they have bunk beds). Even the nights I get him to sleep in his own bed he wakes up in hers. Other nights he ends up in mine. I have to admit I miss sleeping with him in the bed. I do sleep more calmly.

I just started feeling guilty that I was co-sleeping one child and not the other. My daughter grinds her teeth and kicks. With my fibromyalgia I can't be kicked in the night and the grinding of teeth is to me what scratching of chalkboards is for others. So now I pull my son in bed when Sierra is with her Dad. He doesn't visit his Dad so its kind of his special parenting time while she has her special Dad time.

I was one of those traditionalists spilling out what society had told me. I found it strange that my Ex co-slept with his 11 year old when we were dating. Matter of fact had many an argument over it. The thing is...she was premature, barely lived, and he didn't see her as often as he liked due to his Ex. He had another little girl who was 8 or 9 who didn't like to sleep with Dad, so it was just him and the older daughter. It was his way to bond I suppose, but to me it was just plain weird. I thought kids should sleep in their own beds, especially if they were boys with Moms or Dads with girls. My past clouded my thoughts and so did society.

I co-sleep my son sometimes, I did when he was younger. It bonded us in a way that I didn't get with my daughter. I love my daughter, she's my angel, but I can tell the difference between my relationship with her and my son.

Co-sleep your children. Tell the experts they are idiots as society is new and raising children and co-sleeping has been around long before experts arrived.
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Old 11-29-2007, 11:23 AM   #26
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It seems like "society" wants us to become uptight, non touching robots.
I lay with my daughter now, until she falls asleep in her own bed. I can't admit that to the therapist though. They said I could lay on the floor on the side of the bed, but not in the bed. I get so fed up with these people.
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Old 11-29-2007, 11:43 AM   #27
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I've co-slept, co-napped, co-daydreamed, co-you name it. My girl is a part of me and I'm a part of her. I'm currently going through a phase where I'm not comfortable in my old bed, so I'm sleeping on an air mattress in the living room. When I have my daughter, she sleeps there too (bedtime is 8 though and I turn off the TV until she's sleeping good).

I used to work on getting her to sleep in her own bed, and there was a long stretch that she didn't come into our bed at all. I think her fears of the dark are fading, she's getting more confidence every day. However, when she would come into our bed, she would come to me to ask if it was ok and then wedge in between.

Don't know about the feeding though, not my style (besides my body's not wired for it ... ). Mom didn't feed her either, she said it was disgusting, not even in the hospital where they suggested it. Thought there was something weird about that then, and now that I remember it things make a little more sense. Ah well, for some I guess it's normal to not do it.

Sorry got side tracked there.

Yes, co-sleep, especially for the comfort, the heat and the bonding. Not to mention how to teach your kid about a "Dutch oven" ...

Btw, Ash is 6 1/2, and totally a cool kid. Aren't they all!!!
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Old 11-29-2007, 12:51 PM   #28
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Teaching a kid about a dutch oven is such a guy thing!!!!
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Old 11-29-2007, 02:06 PM   #29
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There was one morning, when the ex was still around, that my daughter ran out of bed (too loud), it was rather funny for all of us at the time.

Sometimes, nature just takes its course, what can I say?
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Old 11-30-2007, 09:20 PM   #30
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In couple therapy, they teach the same techniques to help bond with the other in a relationship.

When a couple, does the sandwhich, which is placing your hands on your partners chest, and they place their hands on your hands, it is used for sorrow releases, and done near the lower abdomen on a woman, helps to relieve anxieties...

So what you say makes sense to me that it would affect a child's heartbeat and allow the child to relax.
And yes there is quite a bit of research on teh topic. Very interesting.
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Old 12-01-2007, 12:06 PM   #31
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Quote:
When a couple, does the sandwhich, which is placing your hands on your partners chest, and they place their hands on your hands, it is used for sorrow releases, and done near the lower abdomen on a woman, helps to relieve anxieties...
Cool. I'm going to try that.
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Old 12-05-2007, 04:20 PM   #32
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what's a "dutch oven"??
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Old 12-07-2007, 08:07 AM   #33
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I co sleep, have since jacob was born... but I would love to get him into his toddler bed soon.. he hasn't slept in his own room in our apartment ever.. shoulda got a 1 bedroom! I just don't know how to do it
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Old 12-07-2007, 12:11 PM   #34
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Jacobmonkey,

We started out having Ash in a crib in our bedroom. After a few months we moved her out to the loft (previous house).

Over the years (she's 6 now), I found that it was easier to let her sleep with us/mom/me and then drop her in her crib/bed. I tried lots of different ways (yes just me), from putting her in her crib and letting her cry, to staying with her until she fell asleep (singing and talking to her). Just experiment and find what works best for you and jacob. Again, there are lots of different "opinions", just do a little googleing, you'll find lots of professional opinions.

Quote:
Originally posted by Marielle:
what's a "dutch oven"??
A "Dutch oven" is when one person, releases gas (usually in a bed) and then brings the sheets/covers up over the head of the other person in bed to let them get the "Full effect", creating an "oven". Don't know why it's a Dutch one though.
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Old 12-07-2007, 05:45 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally posted by needforjoy:
Jacobmonkey,

We started out having Ash in a crib in our bedroom. After a few months we moved her out to the loft (previous house).

Over the years (she's 6 now), I found that it was easier to let her sleep with us/mom/me and then drop her in her crib/bed. I tried lots of different ways (yes just me), from putting her in her crib and letting her cry, to staying with her until she fell asleep (singing and talking to her). Just experiment and find what works best for you and jacob. Again, there are lots of different "opinions", just do a little googleing, you'll find lots of professional opinions.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Marielle:
what's a "dutch oven"??
A "Dutch oven" is when one person, releases gas (usually in a bed) and then brings the sheets/covers up over the head of the other person in bed to let them get the "Full effect", creating an "oven". Don't know why it's a Dutch one though. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>



What a scream! (I live in Holland).
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Old 03-13-2008, 04:27 PM   #36
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haha - i bet the idea of a dutch oven is certainly funny to someone from holland! LMAO!

as far as co-sleeping goes - i know there are a lot of pro's and cons. ParentsConnect is a great place to get advice because it covers everything from baby through teenager.

Here's an article on co-sleeping:

http://www.parentsconnect.com/articl...sleeping.jhtml

It basically says what I initially thought - "It doesn't make sense for a newborn baby to sleep through the night!"

EEK! Say bye bye to your ZZZs...
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Old 04-04-2008, 07:30 AM   #37
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I have a friend who breastfed til 5 and still cosleeps with her daughter and her boyfriend (child's father) at 6. I've got to tell you it creeped me out every time she talked about it.

I started reading The Baby Book by Dr Sears who reallly advocates cosleeping. For the first 4 months I coslept exclusively. But now I put Faith down inher bassinette at 8-9pm. When she wakes up to eat 1-2ish, I bring her to bed with me and we both fall asleep while she nurses. I then wake up around 6-7ish as she is helping herself to breakfast - she is such an easy kid, I am so lucky.

Since I am alone, I dont want to set her up to be miserable without me if I am ever hospitalized or anything (am pumping now while she sleeps so she is comfortable with bottle and booby)

Of course folks are horrified when I mention cosleeping and I just have to smile knowing I deserve it for the guff I gave my friend. Although, I do think there is a difference between a single and a couple, as well as a mom and a dad - sorry.... but a 6 year old girl sleeping with her dad is still a little creepy to me.
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Old 05-27-2008, 07:32 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally posted by LaurieDorey:
- sorry.... but a 6 year old girl sleeping with her dad is still a little creepy to me.
I agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-28-2008, 07:56 AM   #39
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I have co- slept with my kids as I have said before I think it was very benificial especially since they lost their Dad they had to feel secure at night(and so did I)

BUT now I am trying desperatly to get them to sleep alone. MY oldest who I thought for sure would give me a really hard time...she was way easier than I thought she would be..what worked for her was good old fashioned brivery. But my son ...oh my good ness its been two and a half weeks (which feels like forever) and I am still sitting on his bedroom floor..getting him to fall asleep..tiptoeing out..getting into my bed.only to have him get up and have to repeat again. DOes anyone have any suggestions?? Remember he has autism so some things that would work for "typical" children may not work for him.
Still I say even though this is difficult now I don't regret sleeping with them..especially after their fathers death and wold have continued except I do think it would be alittle "strange" to have an 8 yr old girl and 6 yr old boy sleeping between me and my new husband.

LAURIE- When I started my daughter sleeping on her own I waited a week or two before I put my son in his room ..I figured one child at a time would be easier to deal with. So during that time period it was my 6yr old son and I in bed. I'm asking (with the utmost respect for your opinion ) Do you also find that creepy? Or is it just a man sleeping with his daughter? I know Im probably starting some debate by asking but since that last post I just couldn't NOT ask.
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Old 06-11-2008, 10:51 PM   #40
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This issue is making me mental. My two year old has developed a chronic fear of going to sleep - no matter what location. It took me a while to catch on, but his snoring & "asthma" was really sleep apnea. He had surgery in April (tonsils & adenoids)and the results were unbelievable - he no longer takes any medications. He sleeps peacefully once he is asleep - but boy does he fight it. I can either spend 2.5-3 hours reading/cuddling/fake sleeping next to him in bed or become a bedroom door cop for a similiar amount of time. Yes, the routine is set, but I admit to being inconsistent when exhausted. I'm really pushing him to stay in his room because I have to get some work done between 9pm & midnight some nights. I guess I am looking forsomeone to alleviate my guilt at being the door nazi - at least I can work on my laptop for 2-3 minutes between repeating: lay down and goto sleep!!!!!!!
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