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Old 08-26-2011, 12:17 PM   #1
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Default Good or bad? - Facebook info

So in talking with my girlfriend last night she informs me that our two oldest daughters (my oldest and her oldest) have each other listed as sisters on FB. It was a surprise to me. Now we are not even engaged and are not living together but it has not been a secret from the kids that that is where were are headed (getting married and then her family and kids moving in), so what does everyone think? Healthy thing for the kids to understand and feel comfortable doing this so we should cheer the news? Or any reason we should discourage this? I understand the general issues of attachment and then if the relationship fails the kids go through another separation and I certainly would not have gotten them involved if I was not 99.9% certain that things are going to move toward a blended family. My girlfriend and I have had some very, very serious discussions and in talking with friends they all continue to feel that these are all good things showing the relationship is very strong and healthy and not based on how we feel in each other's company and superficial items.

So short story is eventually they will be sisters, but I must admit I was a little taken aback. I did ask her about it last night when I got the info from my gf and my daughter was right up front and said yes they had done that.
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Old 08-26-2011, 12:30 PM   #2
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Default Re: Good or bad? - Facebook info

Actually if you removed the dating part of it... it's perfectly normal for teens to do that. My daughter has several close friends listed as sisters on facebook. Heck, her bf has me listed as her mother.

I think this has less to do with your relationship and more to do with how close those girls are becoming. You can't stop that and you don't want to. What it means though, is that if things do not work out, then you need to make sure these girls still have each other just like normal friends would...........

Leave it... it's really not as serious as you might think.
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Old 08-26-2011, 01:52 PM   #3
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Default Re: Good or bad? - Facebook info

Teenage girls seem to do that, even just friends do it.

My boys and C's kids have told people they are Step Siblings... C and I just grin and say we are not in a hurry. Just enjoying each other.
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Old 08-26-2011, 02:51 PM   #4
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Default Re: Good or bad? - Facebook info

common in teenagers, bff and all the other names they have for close friends. i would think it would be a positive that they are close if u plan on joining families... be thankful that they arent trying to destroy each other.
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Old 08-26-2011, 02:58 PM   #5
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Default Re: Good or bad? - Facebook info

aww! hug. yes, normal for teenage girls to develop close bonds and list as sisters. in fact, my friends from way back are still considered my sisters. ha ha ha, maybe i'll go list them as sisters now, didn't realize you could do that, !!

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Old 08-26-2011, 03:09 PM   #6
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Default Re: Good or bad? - Facebook info

Quote:
Originally Posted by stargazin_mom View Post
common in teenagers, bff and all the other names they have for close friends. i would think it would be a positive that they are close if u plan on joining families... be thankful that they arent trying to destroy each other.
We worked very hard on both sides to set up positive initial meetings and to make certain they understood this would not be a bad thing. In fact we have, where possible designed things to make it a win for them. For example we talked through the room sharing position of having them share by age (there are 3 kids on each side) versus sharing the two blood sisters on each side and explained that this means that when the "steps" are visiting their other parent this means they still get "their own room". The other option would mean they are always with someone, so we turned what was most likely going to be a lot of hurt feelings (my kids have never shared a room) into a positive cause they got a "sleep over" with a buddy some nights but were not stuck with a shared room 100% of the time at both parents.

We also made sure the initial meetings were events where they could talk like dinner, gong to an amusement park and having them ride things together etc. so they could build up a friendship first just like their mom and I did and then worry about the blended family thing later instead of just having it tossed at them like I have seen a lot of other people do.

They have started planning their paint colors (the two young boys 7 and 8 have decided that since one like yellow and one blue they will paint the room green to blend their two favorite colors together) and furniture already, so I tend to think this is more than just a teen girl sending out an invite on a whim to a friend. They understand what is coming and both sides have enough drama at the ex that they are looking forward to a new normal it seems. I just was not sure if we should be slowing them down as the other physical aspects (planning out rooms etc.) were already happening faster than we figured (they know nothing will happen until about a year from now at the earliest). Oh and she's listing the 7 year old as her brother and other young sibiling as sister, so that again paints it in a different light for me than some teeny bopper bonding thing, since she certainly thinks of her own brother in that "he is a slug who needs to die" kind of way, so really feels more family focused to me. Maybe I'm wrong.
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Old 08-26-2011, 06:35 PM   #7
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Default Re: Good or bad? - Facebook info

i have my bestest college friend listed as my sister on FB. I don't have any sisters for real. We grew up in close hometowns so we know lots of the same people (just not each other until college). She was my Maid of Honor and i was hers. It's just fun to do sometimes.

I'd let it go. If they're comfortable with it then that's prolly a good thing! :0)
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Old 08-27-2011, 09:17 PM   #8
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Default Re: Good or bad? - Facebook info

I think people look into facebook way too much and use it as a way to gauge things, ie feelings, relationships, ect. Alot of people tend to overreact to meaningless things, that were really just inteded for thoughtless fun. So I wouldn't even worry about it, in fact it is a good sign that they get along that well! Good luck in your relationship!
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Old 07-01-2016, 12:35 AM   #9
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Default Re: Good or bad? - Facebook info

Perfectly normal for young girls to form those bonds. I was 15 when I got a step sister and I was enamored by her
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Old 09-23-2016, 01:49 PM   #10
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Default Re: Good or bad? - Facebook info

Hello,
I am a psychologist, in your situation i would like to advice you not to worry about it. Even if your marriage didnt work, and the girls do not feel like leaving each other, then also they should remain sisters. I think its a matter of their interest, you have nothing to do with it.
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