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Old 11-21-2012, 10:49 PM   #1
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Unhappy Isaiah, a bb gun, parental responsibilit

So, while at my house, Isaiah shot his bb gun frlm his bedroom. He caused over $1000 in estimated damage. Additional court fines etc and a felony on his record. Will I be the only one responsible to pay, or will his dad be required to help? I am sobbing. That would be my bill money from my student loans...no paid bills, no school for me. I can't keep dealing with this. His meds are right, I have done everything and anything I know. I'm at a loss with him as a kid, as his mom, and frankly now just everything in life.
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Old 11-21-2012, 11:11 PM   #2
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Default Re: Isaiah, a bb gun, parental responsib

Wow, I have no idea legally but I can hear the father saying it happened on your watch it's your responsibility.
I have no real idea here.......can he do community work or something like that to ease the financial hit?
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Old 11-21-2012, 11:14 PM   #3
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Default Re: Isaiah, a bb gun, parental responsib

He can, and will...and I will be pushing for time in juvy...but the repairs are a cash thing. I'm freaking done trying with this kid.
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Old 11-22-2012, 12:14 AM   #4
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Default Re: Isaiah, a bb gun, parental responsib

What do the papers say... I know mine say that bigger costs will be split, they mention things like braces but don't specify on what exactly they are.

What the hellman's was he doing with a bb gun in his bedroom?
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Old 11-22-2012, 12:24 AM   #5
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Default Re: Isaiah, a bb gun, parental responsib

have you looked into the sheriff ranch?

You maybe able to get thing on a fast tract if he's now in the system < or could be... not sure how it works there, I now here I had my oldest on the waiting list and had to pay a same fee, but I listened to some wrong advise and let him stay with family and that was the worst I could had done for him.

All cost I usually eat it...

check it out, maybe that group can help.?

heres a link:
http://www.youthranch.org/

at risk:
http://www.youthranch.org/SubstanceAbuse.aspx
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Old 11-22-2012, 12:31 PM   #6
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Default Re: Isaiah, a bb gun, parental responsib

Thanks, MB...yes, I am quite familiar with IYR (my gf's mom worked there growing up). He's had a bb gun for 2 years in his closet! He's grown up with guns all around, never had a problem. MB, yes, he will have a record, a felony and probation till he's 18 is likely as well.

My biggest concern is this. If my landlords cite the rule of caring for the property (however it is worded) and evict me, I loose housing, that's how it works...if I loose housing I have nowhere to go, no one to turn to. I'll have to move home to my parents (1.5 hours from a college). Not only that, but without housing, I can't afford school, and I'm almost out of Pell Grants anyways. I really, really can't have Isaiah here. I've had times when his dad was doing well, and Isaiah was with him for 6 months in Colorado and honestly, it changed my whole house. THe atmosphere here was totally different. It's just not good for the other kids, and if the **** hits the fan, seriously, he will have ruined my chances of making something of myself. I really have no choice but to pray that the judge will look at the multiple calls to CPS about his dad and the fact that I have done everything possible. I fought tooth and nail to get him out of the regular public schools into a special school, I put him back into the after school program after his dad took him out. I did the same with counseling/therapy. I've done everything. It's seriously not like he is living in a bad environment here. He has a parent who has never done any sort of drugs, never been drunk in my life, go to church on Sundays and with the exception of my sailors mouth, I live my life as I should. Anyhow, he can't stay here. For the other kids, for me, for me to keep any hope of succeeding in life. If he goes to his dads, he is going to an abusive home. I'm at the point now, I can't "save" him from that (which has always been my logic). He's going to have to face it and handle it (he won't tell anyone cause he says "dad'll just hit me more". He's not getting any better here. Obviously what I can/am doing is not enough.

I'm at a loss. I've done everything. I'm at a point where my resources are run out.
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Old 11-22-2012, 01:08 PM   #7
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Default Re: Isaiah, a bb gun, parental responsib

Legally, dad is not going to be responsible for the cost because Isaiah was not under dad's supervision. But you may not have to pay either. Depends. Legally speaking, parents are not responsible for the torts (civil wrongs) of their children.

Honestly an argument can be made that you should be responsible. You have a trouble child. You allowed him to have access to a BB gun. While he has been around them all his life, it doesn't mean he should have unfettered access to them.

In Oregon, the juvenile system will require this: charge, juvie time, and restitution that he will have to pay back --- not you. I have seen that happen more times than not.

Where it me, I would be stripping this young man's room of EVERYTHING -- but a change of clothes and underwear. Prison would enter his life in such a huge way.

Why is he not in a juvenile facility? That's pretty common. Wondering why the police did not take him and lock him up for the weekend until he could be seen by a judge.
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Old 11-22-2012, 01:31 PM   #8
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Default Re: Isaiah, a bb gun, parental responsib

LSL, I wish they had. Really. I think it would have hit home to him. They freaking leave him with me every **** time they come for whatever....I talk to him, he generally gets spanked, grounded. He doesn't have his own room. He shares with his brother who is almost never in trouble for anything. It's obvious now that he shouldn't have had the gun in his room. The grand is for the windows and siding...it has to be paid in cash. He has no job (13 yo), probably won't have much luck getting/keeping a job anyways because of the various mental health things.
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Old 11-22-2012, 03:46 PM   #9
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Default Re: Isaiah, a bb gun, parental responsib

Who is pressing the charges? My boys have managed to break a window or 4 in the house we rent. I have just replaced them and the landlords are OK. In fact they laugh at me..... and say they have had worse happen... Like the biker who rebuilt his Hog in the front room.
One window.... (I broke it) cost $500.00 ouch.....

Here a kid with a BB gun damaging the house they live in would be dealt with as a family/civil matter.
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Old 11-22-2012, 07:37 PM   #10
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Default Re: Isaiah, a bb gun, parental responsib

This was other apartment buildings...behind us. And, the police were called....rightly so.
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Old 11-22-2012, 07:50 PM   #11
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Default Re: Isaiah, a bb gun, parental responsib

Quote:
Originally Posted by momofTDR View Post
This was other apartment buildings...behind us. And, the police were called....rightly so.
ouch...
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Old 11-22-2012, 08:07 PM   #12
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Default Re: Isaiah, a bb gun, parental responsib

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Originally Posted by momofTDR View Post
This was other apartment buildings...behind us. And, the police were called....rightly so.
yup..... ouch. Sorry you have to deal with this. I hope the court is able to help you and get him some serious help.
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Old 11-22-2012, 11:04 PM   #13
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Default Re: Isaiah, a bb gun, parental responsib

Wish I had some advice for ya I had a rough time with B at 13, and now at 18...its getting ready to hit the fan!
He "accidently" shot our dog with a bb gun at 14 I think.
Im with MB, we have boot camps of sorts here too. Easier to get them in, usually at little or no cost, once they are in the system.
Sorry you are dealing with this. At that point with B too....again
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