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Old 08-05-2010, 01:27 PM   #1
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Default Tell how much

Recently I was involved in an accident at work that left me with a very bad injury to my left middle finger. Still might loose part of it.

So as most know the state took my kids cause of their mom, the last time I saw the kids I told them that I had a very hurt finger. The 2 youngest (8yo girl, 11yo boy) just let it go, but I let it out that I have pictures that are not age appropriate and my 12 yo is now upset as she does not full know how bad I am really hurt.

So, at what age should she see the picts of all the stitches and the black skin and know that I almost lost the end of my finger? While she is almost 13 she has the intellect of an 18yo.

By the way I do send picts to my older boys (36,30, &28).
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Old 08-05-2010, 02:02 PM   #2
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Default Re: Tell how much

Personally i think she is old enough, she is 12years old. If you are not able to discuss or show her things small as a damaged finger then how can you be open about more personal things such as menustrual cycle, sex, peer pressure, boys, etc if she asks. I pray she doesnt bring these topics up until she is 30 but its best to start off small and build up that connection for more important things. I say show her and explain to her what she is seeing.
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Old 08-05-2010, 02:15 PM   #3
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Default Re: Tell how much

I cringe at that kind of thing but I think you should explain to her what you are sending and ask her if she would like to see the pics. If she says yes then send it to her. Good luck. My son is not like me he would prefer to see it instead of being descibed. He is more a visual child. You know your child and are the best one to judge. good luck
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Old 08-05-2010, 03:15 PM   #4
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Default Re: Tell how much

I agree with Carterdm, describe it to her and ask her if she wants to see the pictures. Good luck! My kids always want all the details that can be given.
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Old 08-05-2010, 04:03 PM   #5
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Default Re: Tell how much

I don't know. This is kind of a sensitive issue. While I think it would be fine, the fact that she is in state custody means that they are a bit more sensitive about these issues. As much as I hate to say this, I think you should run it by her caseworker first. The state can be very funny about what you show a child and what you do not. I would play this one completely cautious.
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Old 08-08-2010, 01:19 PM   #6
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Default Re: Tell how much

Well, sometimes kids are stronger than we think they are... Just ask her if she thinks she can handle seeing your injured finger´s picture...
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Old 09-14-2010, 12:59 PM   #7
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Default Re: Tell how much

An update.

I will keep all my finger and when fully healed it will almost like it never was hurt.

On 9-11 I saw my 2 girls and the older did not like looking at it but the younger did not mind seeing it. Neither knows what happened at this point and have not asked.
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Old 09-14-2010, 02:23 PM   #8
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Default Re: Tell how much

I think this type of thing has more to do with the individual child than the age...you know if your child is squeamish or not or whether they would be interested in seeing these pics. In your case I agree with a previous poster in just playing safe - seems like a simple thing but god knows things can get misconstrued.

---------- Post added at 01:23 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:22 PM ----------

p.s. glad to hear your finger is going to heal nicely. I did something similar to my thumb and still 2 years later it still hurts if I grab something funny...but I'm glad to still have it
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Old 09-14-2010, 03:43 PM   #9
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Default Re: Tell how much

Glad to here the good news. Injuries happen, my boys all saw the stitches on my face and back. They have all seen stitches on each other too.
It's part of life.
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Old 09-14-2010, 04:23 PM   #10
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Default Re: Tell how much

If they weren't in the custody of the state I'd say "Just ask if they want to see a picture" and let them know it is kind of disgusting. Glad you didn't have to use email and got to see your children in person instead!
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