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Old 09-17-2009, 02:34 PM   #1
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Default Do you let your kids dress themselves?

So, the past 2 mornings Jay has woken up & proudly gotten himself dressed for school & parades into my bedroom to show me. Both days he has looked completely ridiculous . It makes me cringe to allow him to go to school like that.

My close friend lets her 7 yr old wear whatever he wants & could care less how he looks. She doesn't think its worth the battle & it just doesn't matter to her. I really wish i could be more like that - i just can't shake the cringe-factor of him looking like a lil rag-a-muffin, or just plain...dare i say...dorky
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Old 09-17-2009, 03:58 PM   #2
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

How cute. I think its awesome that you encourage him the way you do by letting him wear the outfit of his own choice...me, Im far too superficial I think...bleh. But when I was a teen if I would see kids in the stores with sticky fingers/faces and no shoes or only a diaper and no clothes with black soles on their bare feet I SWORE on everything my child would always be presentable when going out but sometimes I take it too far.

My 3 yr old is great at dressing herself except for the shoes going on the wrong foot and she can't tie her shoe yet, but she's obsessed with colors black on top of black and white on top of white as where I like to spice it up baby blue with brown and pink with black but she doesn't want to hear nothing bout it so I encourage her independence in this way at least...now if she could only detangle her own hair, clip her own nails and get a job too! kidding.
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Old 09-17-2009, 04:35 PM   #3
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

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How cute. I think its awesome that you encourage him the way you do by letting him wear the outfit of his own choice
Oh no, no, no I did not encourage this! But, he walked in so proud of himself! He's got some behavior issues, so it was easier to just go with it than protest & probably cause him to melt down & ruin both our mornings. Yesterday, i did try to suggest a better shirt option, but he smiled & said 'no, i like this one'. Today - i told him i laid out his clothes - didn't he see them? And, again he liked his choice better. It was chilly today, so i did manage to talk him into a hoodie to cover up his unmatching choice of t-shirt...i mean to keep him warm
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Old 09-17-2009, 04:38 PM   #4
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

Here was my rule: If it's clean, fine. Eventually he will learn to match, but in the mean time, this is part of him asserting his independence. One day my daughter but on this long sleeve red on red striped shirt, with a green sweater vest over it. She looked like an ELF and I about died laughing behind her back, but she loved that outfit and I let her wear it. I emailed her teacher and said, "When you see A, just to let you know, she is dressing herself these days."
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Old 09-17-2009, 05:15 PM   #5
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

If you seriously have a problem with it, you can always lay out 2 outfits the night before, and then tell him he gets to pick which one.

That way he gets to assert his independence by choosing his own outfit... and you get to keep your sanity by sending him out in something that matches.
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Old 09-17-2009, 06:04 PM   #6
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

This is so cute. For me, I TRY to make him look presentable at school. Anywhere else is fair game. Not too long ago we went to walmart in snow boots, shorts, a tank top and a cape with dragons on it. Molly was dressed in a princess dressup outfit.

---------- Post added at 06:04 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:03 PM ----------

I used to really care but, now....I guess it just doesnt matter to me anymore if they look perfect.
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Old 09-17-2009, 07:23 PM   #7
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

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Originally Posted by alexmichele07 View Post
If you seriously have a problem with it, you can always lay out 2 outfits the night before, and then tell him he gets to pick which one.

That way he gets to assert his independence by choosing his own outfit... and you get to keep your sanity by sending him out in something that matches.

That is what I did when M was younger. Now his wardrobe consists of jeans, t-shirts, and polo type shirts. It is pretty near impossible for him to mess that up!
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Old 09-17-2009, 07:26 PM   #8
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

Haha this is too cute I think letting them dress themselves is a great way to develop independence.

I told A I was going to let little boy dress himself whenever it came to that point. A then warned me that I would be stuck with 2 boys running around with capes and underwear outside of their pants (meaning himself and little boy). I told him that I expected nothing less.
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Old 09-17-2009, 07:28 PM   #9
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

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Originally Posted by sara1 View Post
This is so cute. For me, I TRY to make him look presentable at school. Anywhere else is fair game. Not too long ago we went to walmart in snow boots, shorts, a tank top and a cape with dragons on it. Molly was dressed in a princess dressup outfit.

---------- Post added at 06:04 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:03 PM ----------

I used to really care but, now....I guess it just doesnt matter to me anymore if they look perfect.
hee hee. i'm 'trying' to get there! Around the neighborhood i don't care - the neighbors & i have had some good laughs at Jay. Last fall when i brought out the Halloween stuff he saw an old skeleton costume of his i'd saved from when he was 2 1/2 - he's skinny so it still fit but came up above his knees - and he ran around for a few day in that!!! Sara, your description of Ian's Walmart outfit was hilarious...see, i'd get a kick out of seeing 'other people's' kids look like that . Another time, years ago, i picked up my friends son to take the boys to a McD's playland...my friends son was in his spiderman PJs & i asked my friend to get him some clothes so we could go & she said "no he's fine as he is". That is just so not me.

AM - good idea, unfortunately stuff like that just doesn't always work w/ this kid.
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Old 09-17-2009, 09:07 PM   #10
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

Lol, E was Batman, cape, mask, fake muscles and all, almost everyday for about a month one summer. Another time, recently in fact, he insisted on wearing his old swimsuit everywhere...the one with the built in floaties in the top part.
Hey, maybe I'll doctor that one up for Holloween! Tell people he's Jack LaLane, .
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Old 09-17-2009, 10:16 PM   #11
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

My oldest likes to pick out his stuff.....and luckily he likes things kinda plain and basic, so no arguments. My two younger ones will wear whatever you put out for them. I hope it is always this easy!
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Old 09-18-2009, 01:06 AM   #12
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

I never used to have a problem with Payne wearing the clothes I laid out for him, my problem was he was always putting his shirts on backwards and forgetting to zip his fly. He still sometimes forgets on both of them. LOL! I'm the same as Idig on this one. All of his clothes are jeans, t'shirts and hoodies, and all the colors are pretty neutral so they go with everything.

I wish I had a scanner so I could post the pic of him in his cowboy boots and diaper when he was 3, I have it framed on my entertainment center.
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Old 09-19-2009, 05:26 PM   #13
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

I like to give the younger kids a choice if they are wanting to dress themselves so maybe the night before laying out a few outfits and saying which would you like to wear tomorrow. My son jagger doesn't really care but recently after showing everyone what I purchased for him school shopping the rest of the family gave me a hard time and said he can't wear sweater vests to school anymore or ____ get beat up. I guess since Jagger was my first boy and really can't speak up for himself(due to autism) I was still dressing him as I saw him my little baby boy. But I did let up and he actually recently acuired his first "favorite shirt" which is a yellow with black zig zags charlie brown shirt.
The other kids though I do struggle with their clothes all the time. I really can't stand it if they look sloppy or too gothic. I have always made Hailey let me atleast approve or refuse her clothes. I'm glad I did because I can't imagine if I had always let her wear what ever she wanted when she was little then all of a sudden because she's getting older having to say" sorry you can't wear whatever you want now" and certain things I just think aren't appropriate like booty shorts or too low cut tops. Even if other kids are wearing them.
Now I'm not saying that I don't everyonce in a while let the two year old wear pink tutu with her pajama top and a yellow hat as she runs around the backyard. But when we go out she is given two dresses and I ask her which one she wants to wear.
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Old 09-21-2009, 12:18 PM   #14
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

I have the very relaxed outlook on this as well - if they pick it out and it fits then whatever. Of course they tend to generally wear jean shorts or jeans so makes the prospect of clashing a little less likely. Although I do get the occasional text from the ex (some days I drop them off & she picks up) saying 'you let them go to school like THAT ?'.
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Old 09-21-2009, 12:49 PM   #15
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

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I have the very relaxed outlook on this as well - if they pick it out and it fits then whatever. Of course they tend to generally wear jean shorts or jeans so makes the prospect of clashing a little less likely. Although I do get the occasional text from the ex (some days I drop them off & she picks up) saying 'you let them go to school like THAT ?'.
Hee Hee laughing at txts from mom!

Another thing you mentioned & someone else mentioned 'if it fits'... Mine has put on highwaters & insists they 'fit' because they fit in the waist - it is sooo funny & so hard to explain to him that they do NOT fit!
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Old 09-21-2009, 01:01 PM   #16
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

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Although I do get the occasional text from the ex (some days I drop them off & she picks up) saying 'you let them go to school like THAT ?'.

That's TOO Funny!!!
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Old 09-21-2009, 03:07 PM   #17
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

let see, ok, before Kinder starts I just had out fits that Id put together so to pull out & ready to go for the morning...and I dressed them for the most part.

once school starts I would have the hangers set up with the out fits, like you would see in the stores, [the tops and bottoms hanger sets] the kids could pick what they wanted and if the needed help putting on I was their to help.

That usually last till they fight about putting their own outfits together, so ok, they get to hung up the sets. so the set is ready to go in morning.

now High school, they are own their own with clothes, you just better be dressed and ready when im running out the door for work hahahah
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Old 09-21-2009, 03:21 PM   #18
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

Some days, like today, laying out an outfit works just fine. Other days he may have his own idea & want to wear a different shirt, but still pair it w/ the shorts i picked out & totally don't match.

I'm enjoying this thread, but wasn't really seeking advice - just wondering who allows their little kids to leave the house dressed in the ridiculous outfits they put together for themselves
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Old 09-22-2009, 12:55 PM   #19
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

I picked the boys up from school yesterday and Tyler had his jeans rolled halfway up his shins. When I asked him about it he said he likes them that way ! 1st thing he did this morning after putting them on was roll right back up - have to see what mom says later today !
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Old 09-22-2009, 10:31 PM   #20
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

That is absolutely hilarious!

-p-

---------- Post added at 10:31 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:16 PM ----------

I personally think it is a great idea for a child to dress themselves. Like most others have mentioned it fosters independence and I believe self confidence as well.

Of course you don't want your child to be the brunt of jokes at school. If you are concerned about your childs fashion sense give choices. Children love to make their own decisions. Be careful not to judge or show disapproval if your child doesn't make the choice you would like them to. A child will pick up on that quickly and it could be detrimental to their self esteem.

Most days my daughter wants to wear a dress, but this is inappropriate attire for days that P.E. is conducted. Those days she knows to pick out shorts, t-shirt and sneakers. Other days a dress is perfectly fine. Her peramiters are set and she knows it. She still gets a choice of what to wear and dress herself as long as she stays within those peramiters.

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Old 10-27-2009, 11:35 PM   #21
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

With my oldest son, I didn't have much of a problem with the independent stage. He would rather run around in only his undies, but for the most part, he wore whatever I gave him. Still does to this day. My middle son, well he's an eccentric child. At least that's my conclusion. He's the only kid I know that will wear tan and red cotton shorts with a blue and yellow Hawaiian shirt and green flip flops. I have tried everything. Laid out 2 outfits, 3 outfits, 4 outfits... No luck. When he wants to wear something, he's going to wear it and there's no compromising. And he doesn't care where he's going. If he wants to wear 2 different shoes, he's wearing 2 different shoes. Yes, to school even. I gave up, hoping NOT arguing with him would have things go my way. Nope. His teacher sent me a note home a few days ago informing me my son had mis-matched shoes on and suggested that I give him the look over before we run out the door. I kindly wrote back that I was fully aware that he wore 1 sneaker and 1 snow boot to school that day. It's what he wanted to wear, and I wasn't fighting with him. Ff she felt like fighting with him, by all means, be at my house at 5:30am every morning, I'll let her have a shot at it. I still haven't gotten a response. Hmmmm... My daughter who is the youngest has JUST hit this independent stage. Red shirt with a Christmas tree and bear on it, pink pants with butterflies, and baby blue and brown sneaks. I asked her if she was really really sure she wanted to wear that outfit, and not the cute dress I picked out for her, and I was informed she was a big girl like E and M and could pick out her own clothes. (E & M are boys! ROFL)

I've decided I'm not going to argue with my kids. Do I want them looking like the got dressed in the dark by a blind person, no way. But if it makes them feel good about themselves, then fine, whatever. Rather have kids that are happy with themselves then kids who aren't.
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Old 11-18-2009, 08:32 PM   #22
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

The Boy wears uniforms to school, so I'm all set there. Except for the battle I have that he cannot wear his cowboy boots to school. Speaking of, when he got the boots, he didn't take them off for 2 weeks. I would have to take them off his feet once he was asleep in bed!

Next was this year's Halloween costume: Anakin Skywalker. He wore that all day and night for 3 days....he would still put it on right after we got home at night and wear it to bed for a short time after that.

I'd rather he didn't pick out the 2 most horrible pieces and wear them together, but it's that proud look of accomplishment that gets me everytime. It makes The Boy happy.
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Old 11-21-2009, 06:24 AM   #23
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

that is so funny, i had the same thing with cowboy boots.
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Old 12-16-2009, 01:18 PM   #24
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

One day DD, 5yo, had on black and fuchia velour leggings ("gift" from a friend) with a green top (YUCK together). Then another day was a special day. Uncle Paul came down from way up north to visit (1st time in 2 years!!) so DD decided to wear her 'for dress up', semi see thru Angel outfit (thank goodness the wings have gone missing). She thought she was Awesome!!. She was dressed, clean, covered and didnt care that her pincess panties showed thru. Oh well, it is who she is.
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Old 12-16-2009, 01:32 PM   #25
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

When my daughter was younger we would compromise, if she wanted to ware a silly out fit to school then she had to ware matching sox and shoes, but now we have silly sock and shoe day, but the rest she insists has to match with a specific purse or coat.
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Old 12-16-2009, 02:19 PM   #26
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

If my boys have jeans that are clean and no holes, I figure we're doing pretty good
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Old 07-23-2017, 03:31 AM   #27
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

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So, the past 2 mornings Jay has woken up & proudly gotten himself dressed for school & parades into my bedroom to show me. Both days he has looked completely ridiculous . It makes me cringe to allow him to go to school like that.

My close friend lets her 7 yr old wear whatever he wants & could care less how he looks. She doesn't think its worth the battle & it just doesn't matter to her. I really wish i could be more like that - i just can't shake the cringe-factor of him looking like a lil rag-a-muffin, or just plain...dare i say...dorky
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Old 07-27-2017, 08:38 AM   #28
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hello
I allow my daughter to dress up herself
Hello
May I know what is the age of your kid???
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Old 08-01-2017, 12:36 AM   #29
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Default Re: Do you let your kids dress themselve

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Originally Posted by MaxwellsMom View Post
The Boy wears uniforms to school, so I'm all set there. Except for the battle I have that he cannot wear his cowboy boots to school. Speaking of, when he got the boots, he didn't take them off for 2 weeks. I would have to take them off his feet once he was asleep in bed!

Next was this year's Halloween costume: Anakin Skywalker. He wore that all day and night for 3 days....he would still put it on right after we got home at night and wear it to bed for a short time after that.

I'd rather he didn't pick out the 2 most horrible pieces and wear them together, but it's that proud look of accomplishment that gets me everytime. It makes The Boy happy.
What about this Halloween, I'm already started for it
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