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Old 06-15-2017, 05:30 PM   #1
Bglady Female
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Default Angry, Sad, Alone, Loosing my mind..help

Hi guys

Please read this and please help me

For 6 years I was married to a man who had a drug addiction and emotional and mental issues on top of that. It would take me pages and pages to try and paint you a clear picture of what I have experienced and been put through.

Before my daughter was even 1 years old he had made it very clear to me that he was never gonna change.
Anyway

It took everything i had to find the strength to end my marriage. But im so glad i did it and I will never ever go back as long as im alive.

Im here because im really struggling being a single mom. I feel like im going crazy most days. My child is a very energetic highly active and needy and has been since day 1. She also wants and needs to be around me every minute of every hour. I really am not exaggerating. I grew up with young siblings and have friends with babies and their lives compared to mine are night and day.
Some days are so hard and she would be so bad ive resorted to yelling at my little girl and it kills me. I feel guilty right after and cry. Some day the frustration takes the best of me

Being alone day in and day out is brutal... nobody to talk to to. nobody to lend a hand for even just a minute..... its only been a few months since i ended my relationship. Im dealing with so many things at once. My ex lives 3 hours away and still has yet to see his child whom he claims he loves and cares for so much. His actions speak otherwise.

Im on income assistance... money is tight. And on top of everything lately i fight with my mother and sister. They treat me like im mentally ill for feeling down. I ask them for help maybe once a week for a few hours and my mom is better but barely .... they make me feel like im not doing my job ... my own family makes me feel like im not allowed to have feelings and like im a bad mother for asking for help just a little bit..... they also make me feel like it was all my fault for tolerating my relationship and yes it was but have they no sympathy in what happens to a persons mind when they are with a addict?
I cant put my daughter in day care yet. Her and I have been inseparable since she was born and the amount of anxiety she experiences when we part is scary... not just that but where I live a good safe day care is so ridiculously expensive I would be working and be away from my child just to cover my daycare costs.
Will it ever get easier..... the loneliness kills me... and the hardships of doing absolutely every alone is so hard....
please dont get me wrong i love my babygirl more than life it self.
she gave me the strength to leave my relationship . She is my everything !
I just wish i could be better for her....... she deserves perfection
I wish I could meet someone amazing someone who could be a faher figure for her..
it kills me that i couldnt give her a family..

thank you so much for any advice or feedback you may have for me.
I feel so alone
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Old 06-19-2017, 06:08 PM   #2
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Default Re: Angry, Sad, Alone, Loosing my mind..

Hi There and welcome!

One of the big keys here is balance of emotions.

Even with money being tight, get her out to a local park. Check meetup for play groups where you can interact with other adults and she can get to know other kids.

As you are experiencing the overwhelming feelings, you need to make sure to get some "Me Time" for yourself. a bubble bath when she is sleeping would be a good start.

You MUST take care of yourself or you'll risk losing your mind. Get happy with who you are and don't even think about dating or finding her a father figure. Things will all fall into line in time. If your assistance offers childcare, grab on and keep it as long as you can.

Good Luck!

-DC
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Old 06-19-2017, 08:26 PM   #3
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Default Re: Angry, Sad, Alone, Loosing my mind..

What you are feeling is pretty normal for most of us......wishing for what we don't have. But it will get better. DC had good advice. Just getting out to the park will help.....helps the little one burn energy!
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Old 06-20-2017, 07:32 AM   #4
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Default Re: Angry, Sad, Alone, Loosing my mind..

Welcome!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bglady View Post
Im dealing with so many things at once.

Exactly. So cut yourself some slack

Not really sure it gets easier as I am we adjust to what we must. Imo, everything you are feeling is normal. Hang in there..

DC gave great advice.

I just want to add, the mind can be an evil foe if we let it.
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Old 06-20-2017, 07:19 PM   #5
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Default Re: Angry, Sad, Alone, Loosing my mind..

When eating an elephant, do it one bite at a time. You cannot do it in one sitting, pick one item. Deal with it, then tackle the next. One day at a time. Slowly you will pull through.
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Old 07-16-2017, 12:29 PM   #6
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Default Re: Angry, Sad, Alone, Loosing my mind..

Hello there, i am so so happy i joined here because it has given me opportunity to meet with people who shares and feel the same as i do. My purpose of writing you is that time shall heal you. But you ought to be strong for that to happen. My Sons dad living in the same city when he was born but he never came until a month later and after that we never saw him until my son was 3. İ lived all alone because i migrated from my country to another so i had no family around me. But to cut stories short. İ have been taking care of my boy all alone. Since he was born. İ have lost both parents so he is the only one that i have left. Like you i kept blaming myself for not giving my Son a family. But friends always advice me to never give up. So my pains changed to hope and for years i have been waiting to see if some one could come up and fill up the missing parts of our lives but till now. İ haven't met yet that doesn't mean that i am giving up. But i do hope in your case that yours will come soon and be your angel and make you happy. Cheer up and use your time for your little one because she deserves you better.
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Old 07-16-2017, 02:26 PM   #7
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Default Re: Angry, Sad, Alone, Loosing my mind..

Deez, nicely said. Glad you're taking the positive path.
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Old 08-18-2017, 12:53 AM   #8
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Default Re: Angry, Sad, Alone, Loosing my mind..

You have started down a path that will surprisingly bring you beauty. You'll find it one day when you look up and realize things don't affect you like they used to. You will realize you are super woman. The most important thing now is to take it one step at a time. Build yourself a support system in addition to your family, write down your ideal situation and check them off as you obtain them. Affordable child care check, a support person check, making a grocery list check, take a shower check. . I found that if I break it up in pieces I can tackle things better. One thing at a time and you'll be wearing your vest with s on it befor you know it!
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Old 10-04-2017, 06:43 AM   #9
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Default Re: Angry, Sad, Alone, Loosing my mind..

I want to thank you all for taking the time to reply . It brought tears to my eyes to hear such kind words and encouragement from people I never met . I will sit and write a long update on how things are going . My little girl turned 2 this July . I am learning more and more daily. I will get back to you soon
Thank you so much once again
You are angels
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