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Old 05-05-2004, 03:31 AM   #1
Lvaldez
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Hello everyone, It's been a long time since my last posting, and since then alot has happened. My child support situation has improved and things between my ex & I are better.(which is great for the kids) Now my problem seems to be that I am really lonely. I went back to college and work part time which takes up alot of time.The rest of the time I am with the kids. Baseball practice, swimming lessons,etc. I am so busy that I don't have the time to go out and meet people.The few guys that I have dated have been flakes and I've noticed that when I mention that I have twins, it really freaks them out. (Even when I try to explain that my children have a great relationship with their father.) So it's not like I'm trying to find a father for my kids ! I have been hurt alot by different men and I know have some trust issues, but hey, after what I've been through I have reason to have my doubts. I have been keeping busy with school and getting my stuff together within the past year. But now I am truly starting to feel lonely and wonder if I will ever meet a man worth while. If you understand where I am coming from, please reply to this posting, at least so that I know that there are others out there like myself. Or if you have any ideas feel free to let me know. Thanks !!
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Old 05-05-2004, 08:21 AM   #2
Dew
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Hi, you wanted to know if there are others that are like yourself. Well, I think we have a little in common. Actually, I am envious because you can go out to work and meet adults there. Or is that an illusion ? does work not help that way ?
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Old 05-05-2004, 08:21 AM   #3
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Hi, you wanted to know if there are others that are like yourself. Well, I think we have a little in common. Actually, I am envious because you can go out to work and meet adults there. Or is that an illusion ? doesn't work not help that way ?
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Old 05-07-2004, 05:03 AM   #4
rachael
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Hi

Yeah, I know what you mean. When you say you have kids, that's it. But the worst part for me is the trust issues... I feel I need to protect myself cause I can't take being hurt again.

It's good that you have the chance to go to College and work. I'm going back to university in september. I was hoping that would be of great help for my social life and all. Don't tell me it is not true.

Anyway, yeah, you are not the only one feeling lonely. It'll soon get better, don't you think?

A big hug from Montreal
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Old 05-19-2004, 05:13 PM   #5
Cheryl72
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Lvaldez:

I know JUST how you feel. I have a 2 year old, and am expecting another in October. I feel like all I do is work, sleep, and play with my son. I love him to pieces, but the weekends especially, can get really lonely. I think my life would feel so much less stressful if I had someone to share it with; even to just watch a movie or hang out.

It's been - wow, I have to stop & think here - a LONG time since I met anyone nice. You're right, lots of weirdos out there. My son's father and I were getting along ok, and even thinking of getting back together when I realized I was pregnant. He didn't want it. Now, he says he is looking forward to the baby, but we haven't lived together since before my son was born. And I wasn't interested in a part-time boyfriend/father to my kids. So, that's that.

It does get lonely, I know. I'm not sure what the answer is, but finding ways to meet the type of people you want to meet is all I can think of. Take a class, join a gym, etc. - take some time just for you. Easier said than done, I know!

Well, good luck. You are not alone out here!

Cheryl
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Old 05-29-2004, 01:54 AM   #6
Tricia79
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okay, I definitely know what it's like. I have five year old twin girls. I'm a full time teacher, and I go to school part time for my masters degree. My kids' father is out of state. Honestly, I have had a lot of luck meeting guys online. You have to be picky, but they know up front that you have kids, and....you can be more selective. I have met a really great guy and we've been dating for a while. I'd say that every bf I've had from the internet has been way better than any I had before that. Mostly it's because the opportunities just aren't there for busy moms like us.
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Old 09-21-2011, 12:21 AM   #7
mamajess Female
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Default Re: "Single Mother with No Love Life"

I have 2 year old twins and an 8 month old. I know exactly how you feel. I'm in college full time then come home and take care of the boys, who I love more than anything, but then by the time there in bed I'm exhausted but I get so lonely after they're in bed. But its like who has time?
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Old 12-10-2011, 08:51 PM   #8
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Unhappy Re: "Single Mother with No Love Life"

I understand completely. I just started a new job while trying to deal with my kid and his drama. Not to fail to mention, I am waiting to find out if I will be able to join this training program. In addition, I have to find a babysitter, look for another apartment to move to, pay off a debt before tax time (or my taxes might be intercepted), and the list goes on and on. So yes!, I will be very busy and I find men are very demanding of time that you don't have to give because of these obligations. But at the same time they usually will not lend a helping hand either.

I would like someone in my life but I am very leary about men since I have had some very bad apples. I also would like to get myself back to how I use to look before I take that step in finding that special someone. So much to do.
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Old 12-11-2011, 02:20 AM   #9
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Default Re: "Single Mother with No Love Life"

I'd like to join this boat.....I have a 3 yr old and haven't dated in over a year. The last relationship I was in well....the guy was a *&^*head, liar, etc. I'm lonely and hoping I can find someone to complete the family of myself and my daughter...someone who will not only want to be with me but who also wants to be a father figure to my daughter. (I'm not shy to say that my daughter DOES need a father in her life since her's is nowhere to be seen)
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Old 12-11-2011, 09:39 AM   #10
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Default Re: "Single Mother with No Love Life"

I do feel like that sometimes but I also realize that im not ready to be in a relationship right now and that it most likely will not happen until I stop looking. I realized recently that I don't need a relationship to be happy because there are times when we are in them and were still alone. Just last night I went with my 7 and 5 yr old to the tran siberian orchestra (swear they were youngest there) but we had an AMAZING time. Whag i'm trying to say is that we want relationships because we miss the things being with a partner gives to us but there are many things we can do with ourselves that makes it not so lonely.
And someone on here also said to me recently that when it comes to my kids that I'M enough. Not their dad or the other guy JUST ME.
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Old 08-02-2016, 06:51 AM   #11
WendyF Female
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Default Re: "Single Mother with No Love Life"

Lvaldez, I'm living in Norway. I'm only here because following divorce from my husband a few years back I have to be here to be close to my kids. I've been single since we split and I honestly don't feel like I will ever meet anyone here or that I want to either. I want to go back home to the US and try to find love again but I don't want to lose my kids or allow my husband to turn them into full Norwegians and forget their US heritage.

When I read your story, I know it's terrible but I thought, well at least you only have twins. I have 3. But it doesn't matter if you have 2, 3 or 300 because I know exactly how you feel. To some men it's like we have the plague. To others it feels like they want to play family.

I've closed my feelings mostly and don't want to be open to love in this country now, to protect me and my kids, hoping one day to move us back to California.

But you don't have to feel this way. I wish I were back at college and I wish I had the opportunities you now have. Try to look forward and not back and try to stay positive to what is around you.

xxx
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Old 11-14-2016, 01:25 PM   #12
momof5inTX Female
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Default Re: "Single Mother with No Love Life"

Quote:
Originally Posted by WendyF View Post
Lvaldez, I'm living in Norway. I'm only here because following divorce from my husband a few years back I have to be here to be close to my kids. I've been single since we split and I honestly don't feel like I will ever meet anyone here or that I want to either. I want to go back home to the US and try to find love again but I don't want to lose my kids or allow my husband to turn them into full Norwegians and forget their US heritage.

When I read your story, I know it's terrible but I thought, well at least you only have twins. I have 3. But it doesn't matter if you have 2, 3 or 300 because I know exactly how you feel. To some men it's like we have the plague. To others it feels like they want to play family.

I've closed my feelings mostly and don't want to be open to love in this country now, to protect me and my kids, hoping one day to move us back to California.

But you don't have to feel this way. I wish I were back at college and I wish I had the opportunities you now have. Try to look forward and not back and try to stay positive to what is around you.

xxx
Plague.. yes.. that's a good way of putting it and I feel the same way!! I'm a wonderful human being.. I'm not super skinny but I'm not fat.. I'm educated and have a good job but apparently kids are a huge turn off. I feel like I'm entering my "prime" right now and there's no one period for any kind of companionship.
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