Wild Dancing Thanksgivng Turkey Sole Custody vs. Joint Custody - Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices
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Old 06-16-2003, 03:18 PM   #1
Shauna
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Background...For the past 6 mos. I've been letting my ex take my son whenever he's felt like it we do not have court order custody, but he changes his mind and on some weekends decides that he doesn't want to take our son, then on others he wants him every weekend, I've never denied the right for my son to be with or see his father and I don't want to start now.....

My son is 3 1/2 and this will be my first time I'm taking his father to court. Currently (in 3 days) I'm going to court with my ex on Support, Day care expense and Joint custody. My ex is having issues with the custody because he doesn't want it written on a piece of paper when and for how long he can see his child. I've been more then willing in the past 6 mos. to go ahead and make a verbal agreement to when (everyother weekend) he can see his child, only he never sticks to it, just like child support, I get it here and there, when he feels like it, and I can't live like that. I need stablity and so does my son. The debate comes in that my ex has basically told me if I don't drop the joint custody in court and work something out of court that when we go to court he will ask that I have sole custody of my son. So that it isn't written on a piece of paper when and for how long he gets to see his son. My question is if he chooses to give me sole custody and NOT pay child support do I have to let him see our child? I don't want to keep my son away from his father by any means, but I feel enough is enough, he wants to have things his way and I've bent over backwards in a lot of cases to do for him, well, I'm tired of it and I would like to see things somewhat of a normal way for my son and myself. If anyone has any advice/knowledge of what or can happen it would be greatly welcomed as I'm confused and unsure of what I should really do. Thanks for letting me vent!
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Old 06-16-2003, 11:31 PM   #2
Chicagomom1
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Shauna,

I was confused about IL custody law until I for this web site. http://www.illinoislawhelp.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.dsp_ProS eListContent&p_area=59&pCode=319&L2pCode=338

It really helped me understand everything. If you have any other questions about custody law in IL email me
Hope this helps

Shannon
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Old 06-29-2003, 09:27 PM   #3
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Sole custody doesn't mean he doesn't have to pay child support. He has to pay child support regardless, unless his rights are terminated... and most states won't let that happen unless there's someone else ready to adopt the child.

Sole custody basically means you have the only say in medical matters, educational matters, religious matters... it basically means you don't have to consult with him before you make a decision concerning the child. (You still can, of course, but it's up to you).
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Old 10-09-2013, 01:40 AM   #4
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Default Re: Sole Custody vs. Joint Custody

Custody is not connected to child support at all expert for how much time the child spends with the parents. I have sole custody of my daughter and I still get child support.

My ex was the same way for a few month I would let him have her whenever he wanted. When I took him to court they set times 3 days a week for 3 hrs 2 days and 12 hours the 3rd he never once showed up for the 3 hr ones and I was finding out he was leaving my daughter with his gf the one day he would show up. Now by choice ( mostly, the court said no visitation till I get her medical card which was originally ordered a year ago) he hasn't seen her in 4 months even missed her birthday.

It makes it so much better for you to have the court order and if he is willing to give you sole custody that's even better but he still has to pay child support so you don't need to worry about that.
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