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Old 10-15-2015, 03:55 PM   #1
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Default Formula for blending-

Hi all.
Not sure if this is in the right spot, but I guess it fits the situation.
My how things have changed.
The Xs' wife and I are now friends. She has left him and has moved to my area. The X is currently in jail.
Somehow I find myself in the role of child care provider for her 2 boys. They are great, and the arrangement is quite copacetic.

That being said, there is a new development. The wife has been granted guardianship of Z's troubled half-brother. That is good news, for he needs to be out of the situation he was in. He wants a new start, and poor guy is just aching to be loved and cared for.

He is 11, and full of both fear and hurt. The step mom wants him in therapy, and the boy is willing, but afraid. According to him he is afraid that talking with a therapist will get his dad in trouble. We had a discussion about the therapist will take action if he/she feels that he is in danger or is a danger to himself or others, and that a therapist is a trusted adult.

Sigh...I'm not sure what I'm after, or the support I need in writing this. Or maybe simply prayers for the boy.
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Old 10-15-2015, 07:57 PM   #2
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Default Re: Formula for blending-

Oh Z--i'm so so so sorry for the situation with the half-brother.

Prayers, prayers, prayers. And i do hope he gets into counseling. Hugs to you and those kids!!
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Old 10-15-2015, 10:43 PM   #3
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Default Re: Formula for blending-

its a tough spot. i totally sympathize. This is just what I found helpful with kids so to open up.
when children think that talking will get the parent in trouble, explaining to them that everyone is there to help, and that by telling the truth and sharing with a counselor then that person, who know more then (me/we/us) will have the solutions and can fix thing and get everyone on the right path and healing can start, and things will get better.

if you ( the child) think that someone may get in trouble then deep down you know what they are doing is wrong, and it will always stay wrong untill someone who know how, can fix it.

when we have problems with our home pipes we call a plumber, or problems with our car we bring our car to a mechanic, or if we are sick we go to a doctor. This is no different, a therapist can see the problem and will know how to fix it. Then ask the boy... what is there to be afraid of if the therapist can fix the problem, cause that is what big people do, so there really isn't anything to be afraid of when asking for help.

the idea here isnt that the child is doing anything except in helping to fix something, and that he isnt expected to be responsible for a situation, like fixing a car, that he would not be able to fix alone, or without the help of someone knowledgeable of that type of situation

hope that helps
and my prayers are out to ya and him
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Old 10-16-2015, 12:44 AM   #4
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Thank you both.
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Old 10-16-2015, 08:48 AM   #5
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Default Re: Formula for blending-

Aw No advice but thinking of you and yours Z.
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Old 03-06-2016, 04:42 AM   #6
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interesting decide
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